River's Way
by Jessi Knight
Summary: Kaylee Frye crash lands and is stranded on a colony world on the outer rim with her shipmate, River Tam. River's full of mysteries, and haunted by the darkness in her past. Kaylee's shy of her and doesn't really trust her at first, but, as an understanding builds between them, before Kaylee really realizes it's happened, she finds she's fallen in love. Femslash
1. Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down (1)

**Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down... Part 1: ~ FALLING ~**

* * *

"You do know how to fly this thing, right?" Kaylee asked nervously, her eyes fixed on the cockpit portal and the atmo rushing by at much too high velocities for her liking.

"Not flying, falling. Mass plus velocity. What goes up must come down. Timing is everything. I have hopes." River replied, her hands on the steering controls, them and the whole shuttle shaking and jittering like it was about to come apart at the fastenings any second.

"Yeah, hopes... Those are good. Good to have hopes..." Kaylee's gaze went from River's hands, almost blurry now from the vibrations, to the window as they broke cloud-side and the ground came clear and ominous in view.

"If we die, I should think you'll be very cross with me." River spoke, and Kaylee was now even more terrified to see a mad kind of smile light River's lips and eyes with a certain kind of peace that she really wished she could feel at that moment.

_"__River__!"_ Kaylee screamed in abject panic as Serenity barreled at them up from the ground at escape velocity plus.

A jerk of the wheel and a turn and they felt the rumbling shutter of Serenity's velocity wake slam into them, the other much larger ship having passed within talking distance of them (or they would have been, were they on the ground and not going by one another fast enough not to have had time to blink). The shuttle rumbled and rolled, set to spinning and twirling uncontrolled. Kaylee got to the floor and held onto the back of River's pilot chair for dear life itself as she felt gravity pull them around like an angry tide. Weightless one second, lurching in any which direction the next. The unmistakable sound of another ship, if anything, larger even than Serenity, crossing their wake shook the air and them in it with renewed force. Up was down, down was up and nothing in between made itself sensible. She screamed and held on. A scraping sound and something hard and heavy slammed into her backside.

The world went hazy and her vision seemed to blur. Her eyes watering, her whole body hurting, she felt herself kind of whimpering and wishing for anything she'd never seen the inside of a space ship and that she was back home nice and safe on the ground. People weren't meant to live in space, the thoughts came. You'd think the coldness deep enough to kill would have given us the _hint_.

Hard to focus, time seemed to stretch unnaturally long and bendy in ways it shouldn't, and still she held on. Images of running through her beautiful ship, laughing and having fun. Real fun with a really friend her own age like she hadn't had is a long time. River'd stolen her apple, and she'd chase her to the ends of the 'verse to get it back. It's just the way things had to be. She caught River and men tried to kill them for the apple. An apple is a rare and delicious treasure. People have killed for less. She was scared and she hid. _Mustn't look, mustn't look_ River'd said, taking Kaylee's gun from her and going to her feet to face them. Three shots rang out and River smiled at her. _No power in the 'verse..._

A hard shudder, a growling sound. The shuttle shook, but different. What did that mean? Things seemed to blur and slow. _Have to hold on..._ She told herself stubbornly. But things were muddy and she couldn't focus. A hard jerk and all the world seemed to slip out from under her from her without her leave.

Time passed.

It was dark and vaguely warm and comforting where she was. No worries. It was familiar... But something was happening, someone wanted her to do something. A hand on her shoulder, shaking her. _Don't want to wake up now. Can't I sleep longer Captain? Engine won't give you a bit a' trouble, Serenity's shiny. I fixed her good and..._ Hand on her cheek, warm and soft. _The Captain's a lady? How'd that happen?_ Her foggy mind wondered.

"It's all right. We're safe now." The woman from her dreams, that was her speaking. _No power in the 'verse can stop her_, her mind supplied as she felt a soft touch along her back. More words spoken, though no one seemed to know what. She was being lifted up. Soft skin, strong arms holing her to a body with a heartbeat to match her own. Where were they going? She tried to move or open her eyes, but the light was too bright and it seemed to scare the world from her again and chase her back into the warmth of the black.

* * *

Kaylee woke to a sea of all things soft and warm. A familiar perfume, like wildflowers on a clear spring day, settled into her mind. "'Nara?" She questioned, blinking her eyes open. "What in the..." Her mind came back to her as her eyes cleared and she remembered, yes, she did already know what in the 'verse she was doing waking up on Inara Serra's shuttle. She made to sit up, but the shooting pain through her torso immediately told her what a very bad plan of action that had been. "All ideas bright and shiny, that ain't one of them, is it?" She breathlessly questioned herself as she lay back on Inara's couch and stared up at the ceiling. Well, she was in pain, so odds are she weren't dead and gone to heaven. That was a cheerful thought. "River?" She called, looking around what of the shuttle that she could see from her resting spot. "River?" She asked. "You around anywheres?" She called a little louder, her voice a bit uncertain.

No answer.

She sighed and looked up at the fabric laced ceiling that, along with the rest of the shuttle it seemed, had seen more orderly days. "We crashed." She spoke to herself. "_Zì xuan wo, jiao wo yige muyang ren_... _What a day._" She breathed and remembered. Opal was a colony world about as far out on the rim as you'd like to go. It'd had two previous sets of tenants. Settlers who'd tried and failed at being colony folk and met their ends for it. Opal's current tenants were (unusually enough for settlers) some very well-off people though, the kind with their own ideas about how a society should be kept. _Bunch of passive aggressive naysayers_, as the Captain'd called'm. _Land of the irritating people_, she'd thought was a more like title for it than it had. Everyone giving you grief when you didn't act proper is what. But they'd been contracted to do a job, sheep had been needed and sheep they'd brought. Sheep were a good deal more botherless than cows, and they'd all been much happy about that.

Irritating people aside though, it _was_ one of the nicer colony worlds you'd ever like to find out here. Not near as shiny as one of those Alliance worlds mind, but well-kept and growing with a fair shopping district. The logistics of it was that the other shuttle had been contracted out to a local land barren for his own use while they'd been there. The rest were busy with the sheep and all, and Inara had taken a client in the governor of the colony. A rich former industrialist with his head in the clouds, as she'd been told. Knowing Serenity was in need of some parts and such, and seeing an opportunity to sneak in a little window shopping for frivolous things in the process, Kaylee had asked Inara (whom she knew would not be using her shuttle for her activities with the governor) if she could give her a ride over and then use the shuttle to go into town and pick up supplies. River had asked to go along with her, which had been a surprise. But, though she had still been kind of nervous and unsure around the woman since what had happened on Adelei Niska's space station a while back, Kaylee hadn't seen the harm in it, and so had agreed. Scary or not, River had saved her life an all. Kind of made a body indebted, didn't it?

They'd been in the market more than an hour before they'd come back to the shuttle, just a little behind schedule and smiling, having actually had a great time together. River had been normal as she'd ever been and things had seemed like, for once, a job would go smoothly for them. The commotion they'd heard from the streets behind them as they loaded up their purchases, however, had put a damper on that. She remembered, she'd turned to River who's face had turned a mask of foreboding. "The hollow ones have come for us." She'd spoken. Kaylee had rushed to the hatch to look out at the sky and seen it, a Reaver ship breaking through cloud-side. Some inventive Chinese cures later, and she was turning and running back in, the sound of the shuttle's engine starting up greeting her as she'd entered. River had been at the controls and prepping for takeoff. Kaylee'd seen the necessity of closing the hatch and securing the rest of the cargo right quick. Somehow, the fact that River might not know what she was doing in a pilot's chair had never seriously crossed her mind back then. And she'd hated to leave without trying to take on a few from the colony, but there weren't any near and, if they'd stayed, they'd have died too. Sure as gravity.

"The shimmers don't see us in here." She heard spoke and turned to see River standing in the doorway and looking somewhere in the room she couldn't tell where. All the sudden though, the other woman's eyes found hers and River walked over to her and quickly knelt by her side. "How's your back?" River asked, her face full of concern and kindness and her eyes seeming to be searching for any visible problems.

"Hurts." Kaylee replied simply. "I tried to sit up, but didn't like that. What happened?"

"We went down." River spoke, looking interestedly at Kaylee's arm and tracing one of her veins as though trying to figure out a puzzle. "Simon's not here." She again met Kaylee's eyes.

"Figured that." Kaylee said. "How bad do you think it is?"

"I know how to play doctor. It shouldn't present a problem." River replied seriously, lifting up Kaylee's shirt a little to reveal bandages holding her ribs in place. "Two cracked ribs: fourth and eighth. One broken: second. You need to eat." This last said urgently, getting up and going to scrounge around through their supplies.

"River..." Kaylee spoke, looking after her apparent physician.

"Calcium would be best, potassium and protean. Vegetable and potato soup is needed as well." She turned to Kaylee. "I made it bright." She smiled, grabbing a few things and scurrying out the door back outside.

"River, wait..." Kaylee called out, wincing as she shifted a bit in the effort.

"Yes?" The woman's questioning face showed around the corner of the door.

"I... Oh, never mind." Kaylee replied. "Thank you."

River smiled. "Don't worry. I won't leave you." She assured, and then she was gone again.

Kaylee sighed and laid back, glancing down at the bandages on her ribs again before laying her head completely back and looking at the ceiling again. "I am in so much trouble." She told the ceiling.

* * *

Some minutes later, Kaylee had almost nodded off to sleep again, but River reappeared with a fresh-cooked meal she'd apparently prepared outside on a fire she'd started. Kaylee was a little dubious about eating something the other woman had prepared, wondering if it'd cause her hair to turn funny colors or something. But it smelled so good, and she _was_ very hungry. Starving hungry actually, now that the smell of food was there to remind her of it. She took her first spoonful with an expectant looking River looking on, apparently intent on judging her reaction to the food with complete precision. And oh did the soup taste good. The smile and look of delight on her face must have met with River's approval for she declared herself a success and the return smile on her face showed just how much it meant that to her that she had been.

"It feels nice to be useful." River spoke happily as they continued to eat, a silly look on her face as she alternated between looking at Kaylee and looking at the soup in her hands.

"Yeah... I guess it does, doesn't it?" Kaylee mused, laying back a bit and looking over at River.

"Mm-hmm." River nodded. "...We're not astronauts anymore." She spoke.

Kaylee paused. "What's an astronaut?" She asked.

River just pointed up and looked up at the ceiling, and Kaylee caught the meaning. Kaylee nodded. It was probably just one of those words you learned at school that regular people didn't know, or an old one that had fallen out of use through the years. River just knew more words than she did, she'd accepted that.

"Do you think they're alright up there?" Kaylee asked. "I mean, they'll come back for us soon, don't you think?"

River met Kaylee's eyes. "It's not for us to say..." She answered. "The clouds don't seem to think they'll be disturbed again for a while though." She seemed to ponder her own words. "I think we'll be all right though." She smiled. "Sometimes, you just gotta have faith, right?"

It was like something she'd have said herself, Kaylee pondered, and River'd just seemed so serene saying it, that Kaylee couldn't help but feel a bit lighter for it. "You might be right about that." She replied.

"Of course I'm right." River answered. "I'm very clever, you know. Wise even." She said with a little of a teasing smile. "...You don't have to worry, Kaylee. I'll keep us safe. I promise." She told her with a kind of quiet, sure sincerity.

Kaylee met her eyes. "You know? Oddly enough? I think I believe you."

* * *

Chinese translations:

_"Zì xuan wo, jiao wo yige muyang ren"_ = _"Spin me 'round and call me a sheep herder"_

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	2. Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down (2)

**Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down... Part 2: ~ STRINGS ~**

* * *

It was a day later and Kaylee was glad to note that she seemed to be feeling in better sorts. Not a lot better, ribs still bothered, but she was more awake and alert for longer, and the food that'd been made for her seemed to be of a help to her heath also.

"What're you doing over there?" Kaylee finally asked of River for curiosity's sake.

River stopped and looked over at her. "It's all a mess." She explained simply. "I have to work the vectors."

Kaylee laughed a little nervously. It seemed like a harmless enough activity. Things in the shuttle had gotten well and truly tossed about during planet-fall after all, and they might be staying on here a while. It would be nice if the place was looking fully right ways up for a change. Make her feel a little more right with the world again, she'd imagine.

"River?" She spoke.

"Hm?" Her shipmate turned from sorting through a box of machine parts (one of Kaylee's purchases from Opal City's market meant for Serenity) and looked to her, meeting her eyes.

"Do you think... Do you think Inara... I mean... There's no way she coulda made it back to Serenity. Not without..." Inara Serra was the companion to which this shuttle properly belonged, you see. She'd been right up in the middle of the capital when the Reavers had come.

"Not even hollow men know to look everywhere." River spoke sympathetically, getting up and coming over to sit by Kaylee's side. "I knew how to hide from them, and we were crashing at the time." She tried to comfort her friend, taking her hand in hers.

Kaylee regarded River a moment. "You got a way of... knowing things sometimes. You really think she's alive?" She asked hopefully.

"Who among us can say?" River answered in a wistful voice, looking down at their joined hands in a thoughtful, distracted sort of way.

"Was afraid you'd say that..." Kaylee replied.

River looked back up at Kaylee and brought a hand over to brush through her bangs. "She's tied to the world by strings we've woven. They aren't as easy to break as others..." She told her.

The look in Kaylee saw River's eyes seemed somehow ageless and wise in a way it was hard to define, but somehow Kaylee found herself believing in those eyes again. "You work miracles." Kaylee whispered, not really sure why she'd said the words.

A bright sort of teasing smile came to River's face at that. "Now, see? You weren't supposed to figure that out yet." River laughed and kissed her on the forehead before getting up to walk off and continue her cleaning efforts.

Kaylee just looked after her, not realizing the sigh she'd sighed until she sighed it.

Rest was a good thing, and so she closed her eyes and listened to River hum some song, letting herself get a little carried away by the melody. River had such a nice voice, it really was pretty to listen to. She'd not truly realized that up 'til now, Kaylee found herself thinking...

* * *

In her mind, she dreamed of falling, of flying, and of her family left behind on Isis Colony. Her sister was telling her something about how to fix a plow, which seemed passing odd to her sense she knew for certain it had gone the other way 'round. She blinked her eyes open though, her mind losing the dream and telling her that she was being poked at. "Mm?" She questioned vaguely.

"Stay still." River told her distractedly.

Kaylee looked down her body to see her current 'roommate' checking over her injured ribs with a look of determined concentration on her face. _Cute expression_, she considered, smiling inwardly. "River?" She questioned, a little of a smile coming to her lips that faded almost as soon as it had come. "Am I alright, do you think?" She found herself asking, laying her head back as straining her neck did not feel like a thing to continue doing right at that moment.

"Checking it." River replied, looking up to meet her eyes. "Your skin is very soft." She told her with all sincerity.

Kaylee laughed, though it caused her ribs to ache a little. "Well, I am a lady after all. We're all supposed to... Probably all the engine grease." She mused.

River smiled. "I made food." She offered. "Are you hungry?"

Kaylee considered this. "Yeah." She agreed.

"Be right back." River got to her feet and moved silently to the other side of the shuttle.

Kaylee watched her as she fussed over her cookings. Sun was shining in through the windows and it made Inara's shuttle look like a magical place, laced with gold. River looked like a character out of a novel like she was, the light making her glow in a way that was nice to look at. Why did she feel kind of hazy about things though? And shouldn't it be hurting more? _Pain killers_, she reasoned. _Must be_.

River was soon back at her side, offering her a plate of meat flavored tofu from a can, along with biscuits, a packet of orange juice, and what looked like freshly picked berries. "Here." River set the plate down and made to help her sit up at an angle a little (the better to eat from of course).

"You gave me a shot of something, didn't you?" Kaylee questioned, blinking.

"For the pain." River confirmed absently. "Made you sleepy." She further explained.

"You could have told me, you know?" Kaylee was slightly put out by this. When had River done it anyway? She tried to recall but couldn't catch a memory of it.

"Why?" River asked, silent for a moment. "...What you don't see can't bother you." Her voice was softly introspective in saying this.

Kaylee pondered that, then shook her head. "You're right. I should be saying thank yous, I should. You... You're really looking after me, aren't you? ...It means a lot." She took hold of River's hand lightly.

River just smiled and kissed her quickly on her knuckles. She then moved to retrieve the food for her. "Sustenance now, please?" Was all she said.

Kaylee just looked at her and then down at her food. "Where'd the berries come from?" She asked, taking a nibble of the bread next and deciding it was a little too dry. She sipped at her orange juice and decided to eat the bread with the much moister tofu meat stuff next time. It had sauce on it. She was grateful Inara tended to have better food supplies than the rest of the crew did though. Grateful too that River seemed to have a talent for preparing it.

"I went walking." River replied. She'd sat cross-legged on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed were Kaylee lay and was selecting bites off her own plate in what seemed to be a very systematical way. "The lake spoke to me. Said to choose the orange colored ones." River looked back up at her in all seriousness. "Many of the other colors aren't safe here." She informed her.

Kaylee looked assessingly down at the orange colored berries on her plate, then back at River who popped two of the berries from her own plate into her mouth and smiled to herself at their taste. Kaylee couldn't help but smiling too, bravely imitating her and eating two of her own berries, pleased to find they were sweet and good. Very, very good, actually... Kind of like a mix between a plum and a strawberry, she mused. "They're amazing." She informed River.

"The lake doesn't lie." River replied, spearing a small orderly stack of tofu, bread, and one berry with her fork and popping it into her mouth.

Kaylee shook her head in wonder at this latest of River's odd mix of quirks and went back about the task of eating.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	3. Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down (3)

**Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down... Part 3: ~ IN THE LIGHT ~**

* * *

The shuttle looked very neat and ordered now, after a fashion. Most everything in its place. River had opened the hatch and fresh air was wafting in, warmed by the bright morning sun. River was gone. Exploring outside again, Kaylee figured. She soon came back though, looking about outside shuttle hatch a bit then looking over to the shuttle's inside, her eyes finding Kaylee's without having to look for them.

"Hello to you too." Kaylee spoke softly to herself, smiling a little fondly.

Amazingly enough, River broke into a bright smile at that and seemed to say something back to her, though Kaylee couldn't make it out from that distance away. A confused look came on the other woman's face then, like she couldn't figure something out.

"Hmm, you don't suppose she can hear me?" She said to herself, looking back at River. "If you can hear me, get over here. I can't hear you back, yaknow."

River didn't react, she just started walking in her direction and soon was up close and sitting down cross-legged on the bed right next to her, hardly disturbing the mattress with her motions. "Better?" River asked, a little of a playful smile on her lips.

"Mei banfa, you could really hear what I was saying all the way out there?" She asked incredulously. _Lip reading, it's gotta be_, she reassured herself.

River just smiled at her, guileless. "I found more berries." She told her with satisfaction, her mood then turning towards serious consideration. "The woods still hold many mysteries though. I think there are shadows falling off in the distance..."

"Shadows?" Kaylee asked, not following.

"You can't see past them." River looked wistful, then over to Kaylee's eyes. "It's better here in the light." She explained as if what she said made all the sense in the worlds.

Kaylee opened her mouth, a question forming on her lips only to die away. "I guess it is at that, isn't it?"

"You're still worrying about Serenity." River spoke in an understanding sort of way. "It's your heart's family..."

Kaylee looked over at her questioningly. "Course I worry forum... You worrying about your brother?" She turned the question back to its asker.

"Worry isn't logical." River told her, not sounding like she really believed it. "...Simon's worried about me now." She offered. "And you."

"You really think so?" Kaylee questioned, her voice still a little tired sounding.

"He thinks so." River replied a little airily. "You probably don't want to know what I think sometimes..." She informed her in an enigmatic sort of way.

Kaylee just looked at her. "You bother me sometimes, know that?" She said with a little of a smile.

"Sometimes on purpose." River told her back. She wore a straight face, but her eyes smiled in a playful fashion, giving her away.

Kaylee was startled into laughing. By rights, she should be put out. She really wasn't though. "I should be mad at you right now, you realize that? And me in a sickbed and everything..."

"It's for a good cause." River explained, looking at her, seemingly concentrating on her face.

"Wha-!" Kaylee started as River reached out and seemed to snatch something right from in front of her face before she could tell what's what. "What in all the stars was that about?"

River just smiled. "Stole your nose." She explained.

Ridiculously, Kaylee found herself checking her face with her hand to make sure it was still there. River started laughing uproariously at this. Kaylee just looked at her a moment then started laughing again too.

"Where'd you learn that from?" Kaylee asked.

"Mal. It's all smoke and mirrors." River confessed. "It's actually my thumb." She pointed to her thumb and opened the hand attached to that thumb and there was a pink flower without a stem there. Looked almost like a lily, except a little smaller. "It's for you." She offered, holding it out to Kaylee. "A present."

Kaylee looked down at the flower, so completely unexpected.

"Take it." River instructed.

Kaylee smiled up at her and took the flower delicately in her hands. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

"And also orange colored berries." River replied. "They're hard to resist." She explained.

"Zoe would say to take advantage of a good thing when it comes your way." Kaylee offered.

"The trick is telling good things from the bad ones." River pointed out.

"Captain did say that back to her, didn't he?" Kaylee questioned, looking from the flower to River.

"A lot of people have said that. It's not special." River debated, shifting positions so she was lying down on the bed next to Kaylee and looking up at the ceiling with her.

"You learn about that in school? What people said what an all?" Kaylee asked with faint curiosity, the conversation having made her feel a lot better by now. She knew from Simon that River had been a real live genius in school, before what happened to her happened... Was why it had happened in fact.

_"The quality of language is ever to be measured by the veracity of those who have spoken it. In no other area can this be felt more strongly than in the memories that they leave behind them when they go..."_ River said it almost lyrically, very much like she was a lecturer and Kaylee was her class to teach.

"...Sounds pretty anyway." Kaylee assessed. "Not that I know what it means exactly... Who said it, anyway?"

"River Tam said it." River told her lightly. "Do you know her?"

Kaylee tilted her head to the side and regarded the other girl who was still looking up at the ceiling, a serene, careless look on her face. _Does she have to look so darn pretty an innocent all the time saying these things?_ Kaylee questioned internally with a little mostly affectionate exacerbation. _Two can play at that though._ "I know everything about River Tam." She said simply, looking up at the ceiling herself again.

This time River looked over at her. "Do you really?" She seemed surprised.

"Her mind is an open book to me." Kaylee said boldly. "What? You didn't know?"

Before she knew it, River was on top of her, held up by knees and hands and looking down into her face intently. Kaylee couldn't help it, a thrill of fear went through her at the look in River's eyes.

"Liar." River said, getting up off the bed and walking away. "She scares you."

Kaylee was speechless a moment, then. "...River no, wait. I..." She said to the now empty room. _Gaisi de, she moves ghostly, don't she?_ "What was that about?" She said aloud to the empty shuttle, not really able to deny that what River had said had some truth in it.

River was back before too long though, seemingly holding no grudge and acting like nothing much had happened. Kaylee decided to just let it be for now.

* * *

The sky was getting dark half the daylight later. Kaylee had watched River industriously making something for hours now from stuff she'd gotten from the woods and a length of cloth from the shuttle. She'd asked what it was at one point, but all River had said was _vacation_. She'd soon gotten the idea though that it was a litter.

"So that's what you meant." Kaylee said when she'd figured it out.

"Huh?" River looked up, having been absorbed in what she was doing.

"About the vacation." Kaylee clarified.

River looked from Kaylee out the open hatch. "The sun's sleeping soon." She explained. "You have to see it with me." She said it matter-of-factly, going back to her task. "It's important."

Kaylee was quiet then and just watched her work, not really knowing what to say to that, but not being able to stop from feeling sort of warm and fluttery about it. _And here I was, acting scared of her, and her doing things like this... should be ashamed of myself_, she lamented a little guiltily... But a part of her still _was_ scared of the other woman, even despite things like this. She just couldn't seem to help it.

"You don't have to worry." River spoke.

Kaylee jumped in startlement. "_Tiaoyue de tuzi_, don't do that to me. About scared a year off my life sneaking up on me like that."

River looked blankly at her a moment then got up and dropped the litter she'd made and started pacing, nervous like, and holding her head with her hands. "Not doing things right." She said distractedly. "Not right at all. The shadows are getting closer. Can't see. _Neehuh!_" River held her head and shook a little, then ran over to the far side of the room and sat crouched against the wall, knees held up to her chest. She started to rock. "Damaged. I'm not right. Not right at all anymore." She sounded scared.

Kaylee started to feel scared for her too, think it was her fault somehow. Because she'd said she was scared of her and River obviously didn't want her to be. She made up her mind. _Doesn't hurt that bad_, she told herself, and determinedly pulled back the covers and slowly made to get up so she could get over to River and make it right.

She wasn't sure how it happened exactly, just a jagged bolt of pain that wouldn't stop bolting. It tore a scream from deep inside her and made the world go white and take a tumble.

_"No!"_ She heard from somewhere. "All gone wrong. All wrong." She heard up closer.

She groaned and felt herself being lifted up in familiar arms. Held carefully and set back to rest in a soft place. She blinked open her eyes, seeing River looking down at her, scanning her body in all but a panic over it all. "River, I'm sorry, okay? ...You're not scary. Not at all." She said blearily, thinking this would help.

And River did still, to look to her eyes for a moment. "I am scary, I am, look at what happened. All from out of me." And Kaylee saw tears in River's eyes.

"You're not." Kaylee said. "And I'm a sanci zuzhou idjit for thinking otherwise. Just like I'm a sanci zuzhou idjit for getting up out of bed like I did. It's not your fault, you hear me?" She put a hand to River's cheek. "You understand?"

River smiled and wiped away her tears with the side of her hand. "You _were_ pretty stupid." She said with a weak smile. "Me also. Stupid me." And she hugged Kaylee, very gently off course, careful of her ribs, and just stayed like that a moment.

Kaylee held her in return as best she could. "Stupid us alright. I'm sorry River, really I am... It'll be alright." She said the last bit more softly than the other. It was kind of scary. How strong River could be, how bright and all of brave one moment, but, like now, she could also be scared too, and shaken up to the core of her.

"Have to check the fastenings." River muttered, getting herself up. "See that every place's still correct and all." She wiped more tears away and set about examining and rewrapping Kaylee's injury.

Kaylee lay there and silently watched River go about her work, her shipmate muttering some things to herself every now and then. Kaylee felt tired again though. The pain must have done a number on her.

"I'm going to take away the hurt now." River locked eyes with Kaylee, and told her. "Fly away for a while... I'll keep the hollows away. Just you rest now." Kaylee heard River's soft voice say, barely feeling the needle at all. _How did she know I dream of flying?_ Kaylee's imagination wondered as she drifted off into sleep.

* * *

Chinese translations:

"Mei banfa" = "no way"

"_Gaisi de_" = "damn"

"_Tiaoyue de tuzi_" = "jumping jackrabbits"

"sancì zuzhou" = "thrice cursed"

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	4. Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down (4)

**Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down... Part 4: ~ DEMONS ~**

* * *

When Kaylee woke, it was mid-morning the next day and River was sitting in bed next to her, her back to the headboard and her legs crossed and pulled up to her and held with crossed arms. She seemed to be staring off into nowhere in particular, and Kaylee couldn't help watching her for a while before groaning and shifting to a slightly different position to shake off the sleeps. "Good morning." Kaylee spoke.

"That's debatable, I think..." River answered wistfully. "But the sentiments are appreciated." She said, looking over to her. "It's raining."

Kaylee laughed, even though it hurt to laugh.

* * *

Two days later, and things were going well, Kaylee thought. River and her seemed to grow more of an understanding. A bond made deeper by circumstance, she supposed. But whether it was her imagination or something more real, she could swear she was understanding River Tam better lately. She was able to sit upright now, and she'd seen two sunsets, dragged out as she had been by River on that litter of hers, not that she minded it terribly of course.

Right now she was sitting on Inara's couch and reading one of her books. Her library pad had some interesting selections on it, to say the least. This one she'd chosen no less than the rest.

She heard a small crashing noise from outside followed by some cursing in Chinese on River's part. River'd been endeavoring to make a proper bathtub for them on and off for a day and a half now. It was sweet, really. The shower system on the shuttle still worked partly, but Kaylee couldn't well use it, injured as she was. That and Kaylee seemed to recall a talk she'd had about the subject with River at some point prior to their being stranded here on Opal, where in River had lamented about the lack of having real baths in space. _The price of growing up privileged_, Kaylee surmised, nevertheless finding herself wholly agreeing with her on the subject.

Trouble was, while River swore up and down she knew how to make a simple bath tub, had the engineering of it all worked out, apparently the slowly emerging tub shaped object out yonder had an idea in its head to make it difficult on her. It was all actually kind of funny, to see River have to try so hard at something like that when most things seemed to come so easy to her. It made her seem a bit more human and relatable somehow.

"This wood is full of demons." River said carrying a component of her tub with her into the cabin and setting it down in what Kaylee had dubbed _River's work shop_. "I must smite them." She proclaimed decidedly, choosing a tool one would rightly use on a piece of metal plating and using it creatively, going at the hapless log with it.

Kaylee chuckled just a bit and put the library pad aside to watch River work. It didn't take long and she was done, getting up and turning to see Kaylee regarding her. "I anticipate no further problems with this component." She informed Kaylee.

Kaylee titled her head a bit, reflective like. "I wish I could be more help with this. You're making it mostly for me after all."

River just smiled, delighted apparently. "My honor to serve." She made a little bow and went back out to face the demons.

Kaylee watched after her a bit, shook her head, and went back to her book. She was just getting to the good part, after all.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	5. Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down (5)

**Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down... Part 5: ~ LUXURY ~**

* * *

Sometime early the next day, Kaylee was positively blissful luxuriating in a hot bath just inside the hatch of the shuttle. River had somehow managed to rig a heating element for the water and connect it into the shuttle's damaged systems. Ingenious, really, she mused happily.

She opened her eyes and glanced over River's way. The other girl was sitting on a small crate, legs pulled up, arms crossed on her knees, chin resting titled to the side a little on her crossed arms. The girl was just looking at her with a lazy sort of peaceful and satisfied look on her face. _The proud maker admiring her handiworks_, Kaylee guessed, understanding the feeling well and kind of liking seeing that look on her friend's face for some reason. Probably the relatable reason again.

Kaylee closed her eyes once more and lay back, a small hum of contentment leaving her lips.

River had insisted Kaylee be the first to get a bath, even though Kaylee could tell River was secretly longing for one also. River's standing order was for her to just let herself soak in the tub for a while after getting in. To loosen up her sore muscles before washing and to help in the healing as well, she'd told her in so many words. And Kaylee had to admit, it was very much doing the trick. She felt yards better for the relaxing soak. The water's soothing heat seeming to penetrate her skin down to her bones and relax her. She felt downright lackadaisical in fact.

It was some moments later that she heard a soft shuffling motion and felt River's lithe fingers touch her forehead and move aside a bit of her hair. Kaylee opened her eyes and saw River's dark brown eyes looking to hers from the side of the tub she'd made. "No falling asleep." River admonished softly.

Kaylee laughed. "Aye, aye, Captain River."

"A captain without a ship is no captain at all, according to conventional maritime wisdom." River pointed out is a soft and lackadaisical voice, gently smoothing her hand through Kaylee's hair again.

"Says the girl sitting in a ship." Kaylee joked.

"Not mine." River denied. "Ours now. Until Inara gets back."

Kaylee was silent, the reminder of their absent friend, likely lost to Reavers, putting a damper on her mood some.

"Don't be sad?" River asked softly.

Kaylee made an effort to smile for her. "I'll try not to be."

"Tired and true, that's the crew of the Serenity.'' River smiled a small smile back.

Kaylee laughed in spite of herself. "You say the darnedest things you do... But you always seem to know how to make me smile, don't you?" Kaylee asked back with a growing affection and appreciation.

"It's not hard." River pointed out. "Serenity told me the first time we met, there's a treasure of smiles inside you Kaywinnet Lee Frye. You give them away too easy, that's why there are so many." River traced her fingers down the one of Kaylee's cheeks lightly, before withdrawing her hand and blinking.

Kaylee felt a shiver of something go through her at the touch. "Got a way with words too, I see." Kaylee said a little uncomfortably, feeling self-conscious for some reason.

River smiled at her. "I made you nervous." She said it like she'd uncovered a secret and was happy about it.

"I'll make you something, you don't cut it out." Kaylee said back jokingly.

"Promises, promises." River brushed it off and raised herself up on her knees. "I need to wash you now, and I should start with your hair. You were smelly." She informed her, retrieving one of Inara's specialty soaps to start the task.

And suddenly, Kaylee was nervous again, but she quickly shook herself out of it and told herself she was being sideways. River's hands were running shampoo into her hair and massaging her scalp with a caring that was almost sensual. Kaylee couldn't help herself, it felt just so blissful. Even better than when Inara had helped her with it that one time before this big to-do they'd went to. "Your hands are magic." She complemented River dreamily.

River didn't reply, apparently too absorbed in her task.

The back washing went real nice too, but it got a little awkward again when River had to wash her legs and such. Kaylee had just decided to close her eyes and try not to shiver so much at River's sure and gentle touch. She was, at current, trying to think of other things, like ways to maybe repairs the shuttle once she was up and able again. Not that River had said there was much chance of that. Her crewmate had described the problems with the shuttle to her in fact, and Kaylee had been forced to admit that it sounded pretty gorram grim without the necessary replacement parts and such. Still an all, Kaylee though, it wouldn't hurt to crawl inside it and have a second look, now would it? Not that they'd be able to leave Opal with only a shuttle of course, they weren't meant for extended space travel after all. But if they had to go anywheres, like back to the city for supplies or such, or if (all heavens forefend) the Reavers came back for some reason, it could come in real handy to be more moveable than only a pair of legs would allow.

It was in the midst of these thoughts that Kaylee realized she smelled something, and it was a something her mind instantly put a label to too. "Ohmygosh." She spoke in a little of a hushed voice, her eyes flying open. "_River, the ship's burning!_" She exclaimed, sitting up straighter.

River looked up from washing Kaylee's feet and looked around, sniffing the air. "You're right." She confirmed, letting go of Kaylee's foot and getting up to look around, apparently trying to sniff out sign of where the burning smell was coming from.

Kaylee made to try to get out of the tub, making sounds of straining when it hurt and ached to try moving like that without her ribs being bound up tight like they usually were. "River, help me up." She asked.

"Stay there." River instructed distractedly, having found a fire suppressor canister. "The demons have nested in our house." She narrowed her eyes and got to all fours in the corner of the room where a hatch was located. She sat back on her knees and opened the hatch, sliding her body down into it, despite the small amounts of smoke coming up from it.

_"River!"_ Kaylee cried, watching the hatch with increasing worry. She was swearing at herself inside for being so useless as she was and praying to whomsoever would listen that River would be alright. A fire, any fire, aboard ship was nothing to laugh away after all. They had a way of getting out of hand when you least expected it sometimes. Flames hit the wrong system? Burned the wrong active component? _Fwoosh!_ The air could catch fire down there. Ship could even blow up if it caught the engines or the fuel wrong...

She heard coughs and saw River emerge from down below before long though, face and arms dirty looking. She hoisted herself out and lay over on her back. "Kaylee?" She asked blankly.

"Yeah?" Kaylee replied.

"I think I need a bath." She lamented.

Kaylee laughed, the relief rushing through her making it even more funny to her than it really was.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	6. Quiet Moments (1)

**Quiet Moments... Part 1: ~ FALLING WATER ~**

* * *

It was a couple weeks and some later, and Kaylee was feeling in much better sorts. River's doctoring and the meds from the shuttle's emergency kit had worked their ways on her to where she was just sore and not quite rosy yet.

Today, like yesterday, she was in the bowls of the shuttle, looking over things and feeling worse and worse about the chances of the shuttle flying again... Least not without the right tools and spare parts, of which she had not anywheres near what she'd need for it. She might well've been able to get it done with what she'd had on Serenity, but not here though. She could work her fair share of wonders, but, for some things, there was just plain no getting around needing a replacement part. She lay back, defeated, and thought about River and how they were getting along and everything. River still made her a bit nervous now an then, no denying, and there was still something that made her feel not completely secure around her, but the girl was much more familiar to her now... It felt like River had become much more a part of her life. Like she understood her more now, so much so that she thought it would feel a little strange if they were separated. It was kind of like how she'd felt about her sister back on Isis. A sense of camaraderie and them being the only two. Except it was different than that... and maybe just all in her head.

River poked her head in just then. "Has the expedition met with any luck?" She asked her.

"Only if you mean the kind that's backwards and ornery." Kaylee told her. "Lost cause for sure, I'm thinking. What are you up to?" She asked. "You got a look."

"I always look, except when my eyelids interfere." River told her. "That doesn't matter now though. Come play in the falling water with me?" She asked hopefully.

She meant the waterfall at the lake nearby. "Sounds good to me." Kaylee decided with relief. She felt grimy and smelled of grease and smoke residue from the fire that'd happened a while ago, so a wash sounded heavenly. "No sense dwelling on this mess at least. Might was well be enjoying myself." The thought of being out of where she was an in the fresh air under open sky again being a happy one to her about then too.

"There's wisdom in that." River agreed. "Yitian jin chixu zheme jiu." She spoke as she disappeared back out of the maintenance tunnel hatch.

Kaylee just shook her head a little and smiled, that playful innocence River had about her sometimes lifting her spirits as it usually did. So she got herself tuned about in the small space and crawled her way out. When she poked her head out, she saw River packing up a picnic sack. "You're all full of useful things about you, aren't you?" She asked.

"Better than a Swiss army, that's me." River said distractedly, packing things in some precise order it seemed.

"Who're these Swiss people?" Kaylee asked.

"Pacifists." River replied.

"Why they need an army then?" Kaylee asked.

"It's a mystery." River told, tying up the picnic sack neatly and getting to her feet. "And mysteries are for fools and lonely philosophers who can't be bothered to learn how to swim right."

"Well that makes plenty of sense at least." Kaylee smiled.

River walked over to her and touched her side. "It didn't bother you, crawling in the demons' nest all morning?" She asked, running a finger down her ribs experimentally.

"Only a little. Water'll help." She met River's eyes. "Thanks for asking." _Demon's nest_ was a name for it River'd come up with around the time the fire happened. Kaylee was discovering that was one of the tricks to understanding River, that she seemed to like to come up with her own names for things that were all her own for some reason. They always had a kind of odd logic to them though. She'd kind of made a game out of trying to keep track of all of um.

"Asking's easy." River replied, holding her eyes without blinking. "Your eyes have stars in them. And sky."

Kaylee smiled a small, soft smile. "Yours have falling water an sunshine." _An words all a shimmer_, she thought to herself.

"Then we have an understanding." River kissed her lightly on the cheek, turned, and walked away towards the ship's hatch with the things she'd packed for them. Which was another thing about River, that tendency to just walk off or show up at odd times. Somehow, she found she was getting to like it about her.

Kaylee touched her cheek and felt her skin heat just a little. "Wait up, you." She said after her, going and grabbing some of her things quick and heading out after River.

River was standing out in the clearing around their ship waiting for her. Kaylee shook her head a bit and came up beside her.

"The lake calls us, we should try to be more punctual." River told her as they started walking.

"I'll remember for next time." Kaylee replied.

"It's okay if you don't." River said back, walking beside her. "She won't judge you or me."

A few steps on, River took her hand in hers and Kaylee let her. River seemed to be doing that a bunch lately, and Kaylee had to admit, it was a comfort.

They walked through the woods to the river and followed its path to the small lake with the waterfall. It really was such a beautiful day out. It had just rained heavy yesterday and everything was all fresh smelling and pretty today. The sun was out and it was warm. A nice, soft breeze kicking up every now and then. Idyllic even.

Kaylee watched as River found a spot to put the picnic sack and her other things down in. Next, River started taking off her clothes to swim, no modesty about it, which was typical for River and didn't bother Kaylee any. It was kinda nice the other girl felt that comfortable around her, actually.

Kaylee herself was a bit more shy about it than that for some reason, though she couldn't say why exactly, and had found one of Inara's swimsuits to wear. Them being about the same size, it fit her fine. She was just taking off her shirt when she heard a soft splash behind her. She turned around and saw River's head and shoulders appear from under the water, she was smiling. "I win." She said.

"There wasn't a race, you know." Kaylee replied, going over and sitting on the edge of the lake, dangling her legs in the water.

"That's why I won." River smiled, coming over a little closer. At this part of the shore, it was a sheer drop into the water mostly.

"Besides, I'm still injured." Kaylee pointed out.

"It's okay to lose you know." River comforted her playfully. "It's playing the game that's important. Or so the wisdom says."

"And what game would we be playing then, if that's the case?" Kaylee bantered back.

"That's a good question. You should try to answer it. It could be of vital importance one day." River informed her. "Probably not today though." She allowed.

Kaylee giggled a little at that. "If you say so."

"I don't think your ears have been lying to you, if that's what you're worried about." River said by way of comfort, then dunked her head back under water promptly.

Kaylee giggled a little more. "River, come on."

River appeared again a few inches away and tugged on her ankle a little. "Youyong lai he wo yiqi?" She prompted.

Kaylee sighed and pushed off, slipping herself into the water with her shipmate, hardly making a sound. "There, happy?" Kaylee asked when she kicked up so her head was above water again.

"Yes." River replied. "Come on, follow." She further prompted, starting to swim out into the lake.

Kaylee smiled and followed along. "Alright, just don't go too fast!" She called after her.

Kaylee caught up with her at the other side of the lake, just a little ways from the waterfall. "Come on!" River encouraged, swimming under the waterfall and getting up on the stone ledge under it so the water was falling down over her body. Kaylee watched and saw how much River was smiling. Their eyes met and she was a little dazzled by the feeling it gave her. Like they were the only two anywheres almost. In any case, not to be out-done, Kaylee swam after River, under the waterfall, and got herself, with a hand up from River, onto the ledge next to her. The water was pretty loud, so they couldn't talk. The fall wasn't too high though, so the water wasn't hitting them all that hard. It felt really nice actually. Relaxing.

She felt River take her hand in hers again, and Kaylee squeezed her friend's hand back, turning so their eyes met. River's smile was infectious. She really seemed to have come alive out here in a way Kaylee wouldn't have quite expected. She was still the same old River Tam of course, just more... relaxed, more care free somehow, like she'd got a glimpse of on the ship with the apple that day a while ago. More even. It was a pretty sight.

River reached over and touched her cheek. Just a small touch, and then pulled her hand away and slipped off the rock-ledge, pulling Kaylee by the hand down with her into the water. It was a jumble of rushing water pushing them down to the lake floor, but she kept her hold on River's hand and kicked along after her as River led her back up. They both broke out laughing upon breaking the surface.

"That was fun. But don't think I won't get you back for that." Kaylee warned.

"I wasn't thinking that at all." River told her. "But I look forward to it none the less." She said simply in acceptance.

"Let's go back to the shore. I'm... I'm feeling kinda worn out, tellya the truth." Kaylee admitted.

"Of course!" River took her hand again. "Come on, we should go eat anyway. The day is escaping us, even though I wish it wouldn't." She tugged her along again a little before letting her go so she could use the hand to swim with.

Kaylee followed her back to shore and watched as River got up on shore first and helped her up. "Sorry about this." Kaylee offered.

"About what?" River asked.

"Getting tired, you know." She offered.

"That's nonsense. The lake likes you too much, and I agree with her." River told her.

Kaylee sat down on the lake's edge and started drying her hair with the towel River rushed to bring her.

"I'll go get the food ready, don't go anywhere." River admonished her.

"Wasn't planning on it." She said to herself, looking after her shipmate as she went off, drying herself with a second towel as she went. _She really does have a nice body..._, she thought to herself as she watched River's graceful movements.

After sitting there a few moments more and feeling her energy come back some, Kaylee got herself back on her feet and walked over to where River was setting up their little informal picnic, having put on her clothes again.

She sat the towel down against the tree that was there and sat down with a happy sigh. "It really is beautiful today, ain't it?" She asked wistfully.

"It is." River agreed.

Kaylee looked to her and their eyes met. Had River been watching her just then? _Huh. Wonder what that's about_, she idly mused.

"You like being in the water, don't you?" Kaylee asked, laying her head back against the tree and closing her eyes.

River seemed to consider that a moment. "I am jealous of fish gills sometimes, but I don't want to be a mermaid in a small lake, I don't think..." She told her.

Kaylee laughed at that, smiling to River. "You sure have got a way a thinking about things." Kaylee found herself commenting.

"We all do." River replied simply. "That's what's amazing... and what's sad."

"Hm. Well, luckily today we've got the amazing and not the sad then, huh?" Kaylee offered.

"Maybe. But I think we could have done it on purpose." River said offhandedly. "That's why I enjoy thinking about quantum physics as much as I do sometimes."

"...If you say so." Kaylee answered, getting up and investigating the food River was laying out. Her stomach was telling her it was time to eat.

As usual, the food River made was very good, and likewise the company.

They spent hours there just relaxing, talking sometimes. Kaylee was sure she'd caught River watching her that same way as before a few more times, but she really didn't think too much of it.

Though, in the back of her mind, she had to admit, she was kinda curious about it.

* * *

Chinese translations for this chapter:

"Yitian jin chixu zheme jiu" = "A day only lasts so long"

"Youyong lai he wo yiqi?" = "Come swim with me?"

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	7. Quiet Moments (2)

**Quiet Moments... Part 2: ~ DREAM FAERIE ~**

* * *

It was in the morning the day after next that Kaylee woke up in bed. River was with her, curled up on her side next to her. It took her a while to really feel awake though, so she just lay there a bit, letting her mind wonder.

Sleeping arrangements was just like this now.

There was just the one big, really nice and fancy bed after all. At first, River had insisted on camping out with some blankets and pillows on the floor, to avoid the chance that she'd hurt Kaylee if she got to kinking in her sleep or something. But as the days went by and Kaylee got to feeling better, she'd come to notice River wasn't feeling in too great a shape in the mornings. Obviously, she hadn't been sleeping too well. So she'd insisted River share the bed with her the next night and it had been fine, no problems.

River slept soundly next to her, always just curling up a little on her side facing her. She looked... really adorable, if Kaylee was being honest. Downright cute. It was definitely a beautiful, womanly kind of cute though, not any other kind of cute, she noted to herself, unsure why she was making a distinction like that in her head exactly, other than maybe she knew River didn't like being treated, well, not like she was immature exactly, more not like as if she was... damaged. Like she needed to have things done for her, needed for her brother and other people to be looking after her all the time.

River _had_ let Simon treat her that way more than a little though.

This last while, shipwrecked planet side like they were, no one but River for Kaylee to count on, it was obvious that people, her included maybe, hadn't given River Tam enough credit. Or reckoned on just how strong she was. Not strong in a mussels way, though she obviously was in really good shape, athletic looking and everything, but strong in a... soul kinda way. Like, all those horrors she musta seen, that they couldn't really touch her. Not in the ways that mattered.

She turned on her side so she was looking into River's sleeping face and a little of a smile came to her lips. "I seen you, River. You just shine inside, don't you?" She said softly, brushing a little hair from the woman's face. River made a soft little sleeping sound and moved her cheek into the touch in sleep.

Kaylee felt a little flutter of something inside her and yanked her hand away, looking at the hand she'd touched River's face with and wondering at why she'd snatched her hand away like that. She lay on her back again and looked up at the ceiling. "Right then." She said to herself, sitting up and quietly crawling out of bed.

Twenty or so minutes later, she'd pretty much got breakfast put together, when she started to hear sounds coming from the bed.

"_Mmnnn, uuuh!_" She looked over at the sound and saw River sitting up in bed, looking off into the room blankly. Kaylee put down the pan of tofu stakes she'd been taking off the cooker and went over to the bed.

River was wiping the sleep from her eyes. "You alright there?" She asked, concerned for some reason having to do with the quality of River's startled moan.

"Bad dreams." She River explained softly.

"Have those a lot?" Kaylee asked.

River just nodded _yes_.

"Huh, I must be more of a sound sleeper than I thought, not to have noticed fore now. What do you dream about?" Kaylee asked.

"...The bad times. And I don't..." River trailed off, looking up and meeting Kaylee's eyes.

"Don't what?" Kaylee asked.

River looked at Kaylee's forehead and pointed there, touching the center with her finger. "You have a dream faerie living in you, Kaylee Frye. One that likes me very much, I think." She explained, falling back onto her back on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, much like Kaylee had done not long before.

Kaylee was a little stunned to hear that, but it made her smile. "You saying..." She lay down beside River. "You saying you don't have bad dreams, long as your sleeping next to me?" She asked, playing her fingers through River's hair a little.

"I don't." River confessed. "It was most unexpected... A miracle of a thing, you might say..."

"Huh. What ah yaknow about that." Kaylee replied. "Think it means anything?" She mused.

"I think that everything means something, even if I don't always know what that is. Why should that be any different?" River asked, rolling on her side to meet Kaylee's eyes. "You made us breakfast?" She asked, a spark playing behind her eyes somewhere.

"Probably won't be as good as when you make it, but yeah." Kaylee smiled, a bit proud of herself. "I thought it was about time I started doing more of my fair share." She told her friend.

"It makes you feel good, right?" River asked.

"What?"

"Doing things for yourself, or for... another person. It makes you feel good." River explained.

"Oh. I mean, yeah. Yeah, River, it does at that." She smiled, kissing River on the forehead and getting up. "Care to take your life into your hands? Try my cooking?"

"I trust you." River replied simply, getting up and crawling on the bed towards the food Kaylee'd cooked.

Kaylee smiled and ran a hand through her own hair to straighten it out a bit more. "I trust you too." She said unexpectedly. Unexpectedly because she hadn't expected to be saying it.

River turned to her from sitting on the edge of the bed and smiled. "Do you really, you think?" She asked.

"Huh? Um, well, yeah. I just said it, didn't I?" She replied.

River just seemed to consider that a moment. "Okay." She agreed finally, turning away and getting up from the bed, going to investigate the food. "There's going to be a test later though, I'm almost certain." She offered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kaylee asked, a little offended actually, as she got out of bed again too.

"I don't know. It hasn't happened yet." River explained, putting food on her plate.

"You going to test me then? See if I'm lying?" Kaylee asked, starting to annoyed some now.

"No. Why? Should I?" River asked, apparently confused.

Kaylee just looked at her a little skeptical for a few moments, then shook her head a bit and smiled. "Sorry." She said.

"What for?" River asked curiously.

"Being stupid I guess." She replied.

"Oh... I guess I didn't notice that." River said, scratching at her hair a little, and fidgeting a bit. "The food's good." She offered, looking at Kaylee a little uncertainly.

Kaylee met her eyes and saw River was looking for reassurance. Whenever River got fidgety like that, Kaylee had learned, it meant she was feeling lost or unsure of herself. Unsure of her ability to relate or communicate well. "Thanks." Kaylee smiled. "Um, I do mean it though, River. That, um, that I trust you? I mean... I was, you were right." She admitted, looking down at her plate. "Part of me was scared of you before." She looked up and met River's questioning eyes. "I'm not now." And she was pretty sure she wasn't, either.

River looked into her eyes for what seemed like a long while, though it probably wasn't really all that very long. Kaylee made sure to keep eye contact. Like, she wanted to prove to River, and herself really, that it was true what she'd said.

River started to smile, a little shyly, and look away. "Um..." She looked up a little uncertainly and met Kaylee's eyes again. "Name zhe shi hao de." She said, looking down then up again. "Should we hug?" She asked. Asked in that way like she was just wondering if they should, not like she had any particular stake in the answer, one way or the other. River asked questions that way a lot, Kaylee was noticing. Kaylee'd never known anybody else who asked things that way before. Took some getting used to.

"Um, if you want?" Kaylee offered.

River considered that. "Can I have a voucher?" She asked.

"For a hug?" Kaylee asked.

River nodded, _yes_.

"If you want. Sure." Kaylee agreed easily.

"...We should eat, or the food will slow down again." River said.

By which she meant get cold. Heat being a function of how fast the bits of matter that the food was made up of moved. River had explained it to her a few days ago when she'd used the same phrase and Kaylee had asked about it. River thought a lot in terms of sciency things, Kaylee had come to realize. She half thought River talked like she did as much to keep herself from getting bored as anything. Kaylee had noticed that too: how much energy, a nervous sort of searching energy, River always had about her. Always thinking about this or that. "Sounds like a plan." Kaylee agreed.

They ate for a while in silence, until Kaylee caught River watching her in that certain way again. So, she just decided to watch right back at her this time, see what happened.

River seemed a little surprised by this, but kept looking back into her eyes, for a while at least, before she blushed a little and looked away again, getting up and saying she needed to go relieve herself.

Kaylee just nodded okay and sat there, eating the last bits of her food and trying to work something out in her head. She wasn't quite sure what.

* * *

That night, Kaylee was still thinking as she got into bed beside an already sleepy River.

"River...?" She started to ask something, she wasn't sure what.

"Hmm?" River replied.

"You think we're... You think, if it's just us here, we'll be okay? Long term, I mean?" She asked.

"Mmm?" River opened her eyes and Kaylee turned her head so their eyes met. "I'll protect you." River told her simply. "I'm scary, remember?" She asked.

Kaylee swallowed and smiled, kissing River on the forehead. "Okay then." She said. "Time to sleep I guess..." She offered.

"...Kaylee?" River asked.

"Yeah?"

"Don't make breakfast again, okay?" River asked.

"What? Food I made was really that bad?" She asked. "Well, guess ah can't fault you your honesty, now can I?" She smiled a little to herself, having mixed feelings about the whole thing.

"Not that." River corrected.

"What then?" Kaylee asked.

"...You keep bad dreams away. It's more valuable than tofu." River explained.

"Oh..." Was all Kaylee could manage to say in answer.

"Tired... sleep..." River said.

Kaylee looked over and River was already asleep apparently.

"...Pleasant dreams then..." She touched her friend's hair a little and smiled to herself, snuggling in under the covers and closing her eyes. Somehow proud of herself now, despite knowing she probably had no real cause to be.

* * *

Chinese translations:

"Name zhe shi hao de" = "That's good then."

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	8. Quiet Moments (3)

**Quiet Moments... Part 3: ~ CAVE PAINTINGS ~**

* * *

The day after next, River and Kaylee were in the woods, just exploring around, basically because they were bored and there wasn't much else to do. And River seemed to like exploring. Kaylee didn't really care for the woods as much as River seemed to, but she did kind of like to go along because River made it fun anyway. Always investigating this or that, explaining what she thought about birds or wondering why squirrels acted the way they did.

Right now, they were sitting by a group of trees by a rock wall. Kaylee had watched while River had made some paints from inedible berries and such and had painted a picture on the rocks of the two of them sitting together and looking up at the sky with Serenity flying by and the waterfall in the background. Kaylee had mostly watched silently, fascinated. _Cave paintings_, River had told her. _To mark us when we're gone_.

The painting was remarkably lifelike for using such simple, seemingly casual lines. It reminded Kaylee of this old woman she'd met in a marketplace once who did calligraphy on cloth banners and sold them as decorations. She'd bought this miniature one, only fourteen by fourteen centimeters. Just one character on it that meant _Luck_. Kaylee had figured she could hardly go wrong with more luck, after all.

Kaylee had told River how great she thought her painting was and gotten a kind of shy but very pleased smile for saying it. River had told her a little about how scientists on Earth-that-was had found paintings on caves and learned things about their ancestors that way. Kaylee had gotten to like it when River told stories like that. Not that she always knew what River was talking about, it was more that River had a way of telling stories that was just fun to listen to. After she'd finished telling about the cave paintings though, one of those quiet places that happened sometimes when they talked happened, and Kaylee was just going to ask if they should get up and start walking again when River had an idea.

"We should play a game." River offered.

"Um, kay, what sorta game?" Kaylee asked, curious, seeing nothing better to do and willing to go along.

"I don't know. You can pick." River offered, getting up and taking Kaylee's hand and pulling her up to her feet from sitting.

"Um, okay... Hideaway? ...Tag?" Kaylee tried to think of the games she and her sister played back on Isis.

"Tag." River agreed, tapping her on the shoulder and dancing away from her a ways. "You're it." She smiled, and ran off.

"River!" Kaylee ran off after her into the woods, thankful she'd thought to bring along a homing beacon set to lead them back to the shuttle, because no way was she going to remember the way back after this probably.

Kaylee chased River into the forest and only barely kept her in sight. She'd round a tree and see River leaning against one. "Can't catch me." She'd smile, ducking behind the tree and Kaylee would get there and she'd be gone. Maybe up ahead, or even once or twice back where she'd just come from.

After a while of this, Kaylee got the idea there was just no way she was going to be able to tag River back. "I give up, you win!"

River walked out from the tree right next to her. "You're not very good at this game. Why'd you chose it?" She asked curiously.

Kaylee giggled a little. "I underestimated your ability to dart around like that."

"Oh... That's understandable then." River smiled.

Kaylee narrowed her eyes at her. She wanted to do something to her for that. Mess up her hair or wrestle with her a little like she and her sister did sometimes, but... she was still a little hesitant to surprise River with things that might be looked at as aggressive. Just... Just in case she might react bad to it. She sighed. "We should be getting back." She said.

River looked at her a little quizzically, like she was trying to figure her out again. She stepped in closer to her and Kaylee didn't quite know what to expect. "I'm sorry... because I wasn't fun to play tag with." River apologized softly. "I get carried away and..." She kissed Kaylee on the cheek. "You still like me?" She asked.

Kaylee felt all the sudden a little uncomfortable. Butterflies in her belly or something. She smiled, a little unsteady. "Course I do, don't be silly." She said quietly. "Um, we could play _guess who_ on the way back?" She offered, stepping away and taking River's hand in hers to show her friend that there really where no hard feelings or anything. It made her feel better too.

"Okay." River agreed easily, apparently set at ease from Kaylee taking her hand and all.

"Only, has to be someone I'd have a chance at guessing, okay? No fancy stuff from school I wouldn't know. Right?" She asked.

"That's fair." River agreed.

"Who guesses first?" Kaylee asked.

"I do." River answered as they walked.

"Alright. Okay, I got someone. Have at it." Kaylee said, looking off into the trees and smiling.

"Are they living or dead?" River asked.

"Living. Last I heard at least." Kaylee supplied, looking over at River a little curiously and then looking ahead where they were going.

"Male or female identified?" River asked.

"Male." Kaylee supplied.

"Johnny Nolen?" River asked.

"How'd you know?" Kaylee stopped and turned to her in surprise.

"He's your favorite male identified singer, and you looked like music when you started the game." River told her. "Your turn to guess?" She asked expectantly.

"Um, sure." Kaylee shook her head a little. River really was something sometimes. To have picked up on something like that about her. She really... really must have paid a lot of attention to her. Or maybe River just naturally did that for everyone? For some reason she kind of liked to think maybe she was special though. "Got someone?"

"Uh-huh." River said as they started walking again.

"Living or dead?" Kaylee asked.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	9. Quiet Moments (4)

**Quiet Moments... Part 4: ~ DANCING IN THE DARK ~**

* * *

In bed the next day, after sundown. There had been a rainstorm, starting yesterday in the evening, lasting all night and through the day. It was still coming down outside, could hear it. A muffled rata-tat-taping on the shuttle in the background. The sound had soon just sort of faded into the background for Kaylee though so she didn't much notice it no more.

"If we're stuck here, for good I mean, what do you think we'd do?" Kaylee asked, lying next to River in bed. They'd gotten ready for bed an all, but they still had a light on next to the bed and had been talking about this and that for a while.

The more she and River talked, the more they got comfortable just talking, it seemed like. Once you got her to open up, once she felt like someone really heard her and was willing to let her be who she was, broken bits and all, Kaylee figured, River really seemed to open up. Kaylee felt special that she was the person who could give that to her. An... the way River would look at her when Kaylee was the one talking, like what she was saying mattered more than anything else in the worlds. It made her feel... It was a really good, warm sort of feeling. She couldn't remember anyone paying that much attention to her before, at least not to the things she said. Her opinions and feelings about things and everything.

"We'd grave rob and start a farm, I think. It's logical, isn't it?" River asked, looking over to meet Kaylee's eyes.

"Grave rob?" Kaylee asked, a little confused. "Oh, you mean, go an... take things from the settlers an all, don't you?" She realized.

"You have farming expertise from past experience... I don't foresee any difficulties... Unless there's a drought." River qualified.

Kaylee smiled to herself. "You an me, on a farm. Wouldn't that be something?" She mused. "Certainly be me coming round full circle, now wouldn't it?"

"Circle?" River asked.

"Me, starting out on a farm, with a sister my only friend, then going up into space, having an adventure... Then here I'd be, on a farm, with you being sister number two."

River sat up. "I'm not sister number two. Don't say that." She said, sounding a little hurt.

"...Why not?" Kaylee asked. "I mean, I know we ain't really sisters or anything, but... feels like we could be, in another life or something, doesn't it?"

River was silent and Kaylee couldn't tell much of anything just looking at her back like she was. "River..." She got up and put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "What's the matter?" She asked softly.

River shied away from her and came around in front of her to face her. Her eyes were all stormy and troubled. "You don't know anything important, do you?" She accused, pushing Kaylee down onto her back, looking down at her from on top of her on her hands and knees, her eyes were all... intense somehow. Kaylee couldn't look away, she just kept quiet and couldn't think of anything to say.

River just kept looking into her eyes for a few more moments and then she started to lower herself down closer. Kaylee's mind just sort of... went blank. She didn't know what was happening, or what would happen next, then... River closed her eyes and kissed her.

Just a soft, simple kiss, followed by a second just the same.

River stopped and got back up on her hands, looking down into a speechless Kaylee's eyes. "That's important." River explained softly, getting off of her and going to sit against the headboard, a pillow's distance between them. Kaylee looked over and saw River had brought her legs up and was resting her chin on them, just looking off into the darkness of the room.

"...Why'd you do that?" Kaylee asked, getting up on her knees and looking over at River.

River didn't answer.

"You... You like me... don't you." She spoke. It wasn't a question. She wondered in that moment how she hadn't seen it before. Of course River liked her like that. All those times she'd caught her watching her... She'd caught a boy looking at her like that, what else would she have thought? She felt kinda dense for not seeing before now...

River turned her head and looked at her, resting the side of her head on her knees. "I used to know how to do this better... I had a girlfriend. Her name was Ella Dannan. She took me dancing..." River confessed softly. "I wonder what become of her sometimes... I hope she found someone else to dance with..." She closed her eyes.

Kaylee just sat there watching River a moment, then she looked down at her hands. Her thoughts were still a little dazed, and she wasn't sure if what she was thinking was a good idea or not, but she figured she was going to do it anyway.

She looked back up at River. River was looking off into the darkness again, a sort of... wistful look on her face.

Kaylee got up and crawled out of bed, going to the far side of the room. River watched her curiously. Soon, there was music. A soft, instrumental song. Piano, electric guitar, some other instruments.

Kaylee walked over by the side of the bed where River was. "I like to go dancing too." She explained in a gentle way, offering River her hand.

River smiled softly to her, took her hand and let Kaylee lead her out to the middle of the floor. They stepped closer together, put their arms around one another, and danced to the music.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	10. Fighting The Hollows (1)

**Fighting The Hollows... Part 1: ~ STORM CLOUDS ~**

* * *

It was two days and some later now. The sky had patchy white clouds in it that were right now covering the sun above them. The air smelled sweet in one of the many ways it only ever did on an honest to goodness planet with trees and lakes and waterfalls and such. And, at this particular moment, Kaylee found herself backed up against one of those trees thinking about none of those things at all as she and River kissed.

River's hands were gently but firmly holding her forearms to the tree, their bodies were so close that the heat between them felt almost like a fire, and Kaylee was in no mood at all to call a halt to it. In fact, she wasn't sure if she'd ever enjoyed kissing someone quite this much her entire life. It was making her feel a little dizzy, to be honest.

When River finally stopped, her lips still just a breath away, Kaylee was kind of struck trance-like for a moment, until her brain kicked itself into working again. "Why'd you stop?" She asked softly, shivering just a little at the sheer lust she heard in her own voice.

Their eyes met and River smiled a little in that knowingly confident way she sometimes had about her. "No reason." She said back simply, moving in to kiss her again, letting go of Kaylee's arms, her hands sliding, one up, the other down to Kaylee's waist, then up to her ribs.

Kaylee kissed her back, almost on auto-pilot. They'd been doing this off and on since that night when they'd danced. Afterward, they'd talked a little and... ended up kissing. She still wasn't sure who'd started it. It had been kind of a surprise to her (this was the first time she'd done this sort of thing with another woman, after all), but one she was actually starting to really get used to.

Her sister back on Isis had only ever liked women. Last she knew, she was married to one in fact. Chelsea Isaacs was her name... Pretty, with dark red hair and intense dark brown eyes. Not long on words and not anything like a social butterfly, but, her sister had assured her once, _fantastic_ in bed. For Kaylee's part though, she'd never found herself having eyes for another woman like that, only men. It hadn't been that she'd thought one was better than the other, just, she was attracted to who she was attracted to, just like her sister was. Now, she was definitely feeling attracted to River, and, in fact, was wondering if River'd be as _fantastic_ in bed as Chelsea Isaacs was. Though... she wasn't quite sure she was ready to find out just yet somehow... which was baffling to her, honestly. She'd never exactly been hesitant in that area before, when it came to the love interests in her life. Why now? Was it just because River was a woman? She didn't know why that should matter, but, well, maybe it did sometimes.

In any case, River didn't seem to be in a hurry to move things to the next level yet, so she had time to consider things, she supposed... as pleasantly difficult as River was making that at the moment.

A little frustrated, Kaylee pushed River back off of her some and shook her head a little. When her and River's eyes met again, River was just looking back at her curiously, as if simply wondering why Kaylee had done that. Kaylee found herself considering whether to back River up against a tree herself next or not, them looking into each other's eyes like they were, but she decided not to. She sighed in frustration though and sat down on the ground in front of the tree, running a hand through her hair and trying to get her head to working again.

"Something's wrong?" River asked, getting down and sitting on the ground with her.

Kaylee looked up through strands of her hair that were falling over her eyes and met River's interested gaze. "Only that it's hard to think when we get to doing that." It was getting kind of hard to think period, where being around River was concerned, if she were being honest.

"That's only a biological reaction, though some would say a spiritual truth exists behind it." River offered.

"Yeah? And what truth would that be?" Kaylee asked, her hand moving her hair around on her head a little more.

"In summary... that love tends towards making everything else seem boring by comparison." River explained softly.

"And..." She met River's eyes again. "You'd say that... we're in love?" She asked.

"All signs are pointing strongly in that direction, yes." River smiled. And again, like every time before, Kaylee marveled at just how very much River Tam could say with only a smile.

"...Yeah. I'm guessing they are, aren't they?" She replied softly, looking off somewheres into the forest. They were just a little ways from the shuttle they now called home, just come back from getting fresh water (which was sat down in containers a meter or so away).

"Aren't you... pleased about that?" River asked.

"Huh? Oh, no, River, course I am." She laughed a little. "Could hardly be kissing you like that if I weren't pleased, now could I?" She remarked, leaning her head back against the tree and looking up into the canopy of branches above. By chance, she saw a bird flit past... Was orange colored mostly.

"Nonsense happens sometimes." River shrugged. "It's best to check, when it's important, I think."

Kaylee looked over to her again. "River... How long have you felt... you know, attracted? To me, I mean?"

River looked a little bothered by that. "Who can say?" Their eyes met again, kind of wondered back to one another. "I knew this would happen though, the first time we met." She told her. "I saw it in your eyes. Saw it even in the before, I think..."

Kaylee was a little stunned. "How?" She asked softly. "How does... whatever it is you do, how does it work?" She asked.

River shrugged again. "It's hard to say. There are theories..." She offered.

Kaylee considered that a moment. "...Probably not important." She admitted softly. "Mysteries are for fools and lonely philosophers who can't be bothered to learn how to swim, right?" She quoted River back to her.

River smiled a delighted smile like as if Kaylee had just told a clever joke. "We could go swimming again, if you want?" She offered.

"You really like being in the water, don't you?" Kaylee asked.

"Mm-hmm." River replied. "Some people think our ancestors were fish, or... maybe dolphins."

"Isn't a dolphin a kind of fish?" Kaylee asked.

River shook her head, _no_. "They have holes in their heads." She tapped the top of Kaylee's head playfully.

"You saying I have one too?" Kaylee asked back with a smile.

"Just the normal ones like most people." River answered lightly.

"Oh, is that all." Kaylee replied, smiling playfully.

"I like mine to kiss yours... not most peoples'?" River offered hopefully.

Kaylee smiled at that and reached out a hand to take one of River's in hers. "Let's go home, alright?" She asked, moving to get up.

River got up right along with her. "Alright..." She replied, looking down at their joined hands a moment when they got to standing, then letting it go to go retrieve one of the water containers. Kaylee went to get the other one.

They walked together in silence for just a bit, but when the shuttle came into view, River slowed to a halt and broke the silence. "I think a storm is coming soon..."

Kaylee stopped and looked over to her. "Why do I not like the sound of that?" She asked.

"Echoes of the void. There will be a war." River replied, continuing on towards the shuttle without looking back.

Kaylee watched after her for a moment. Why was it, that every time she thought she had River figured, the woman'd say something so sideways like that? Somehow though, whether it was because she'd come to understand River Tam so much more these last weeks, or because of some other reason, she knew, just _knew_, that it would be smart to take what River had just said very seriously.

She hurried up to catch up with her shipmate.

Or, she supposed, River might actually be her girlfriend now.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	11. Fighting The Hollows (2)

**Fighting The Hollows... Part 2: ~ PREPARATIONS ~**

* * *

The next day, Kaylee watched from the bed, not just a little anxiously, as River set up barricades and traps in a very exacting manner. She'd offered to help of course, but River had firmly said no, that it was better if she did it herself because things had to be just so (course, she hadn't used those words exactly, but Kaylee had caught her meaning just fine).

"Tell me again: if Reavers are coming here, why aren't we just getting ourselves elsewhere?" Kaylee asked, her eyes tracking River's movements almost on automatic now, as though just watching her move and do things like she was doing would make her feel better. And it was. Over the last weeks she'd gotten to very much like just watching River do things in fact (there really hadn't been all that much else to do), because she'd discovered there were always so many layers to whatever it was she was doing. Since they'd become... closer, she found she liked it even more, in a way that was entirely unexpected to her, but, after what River had said about Reavers being on their way, that comforting effect only went so far.

"This location is defensible, also our home. I have to protect you, skew the vectors closer to certainty. It's essential." River explained distractedly as she was bending down, the side of her head almost touching the floor as she looked at something she'd just set up from an odd angle.

"But, wouldn't it make more sense _not_ to have to... defend me, and everything? If we just left...?" She offered, unsure of what else to say.

"They have a hole in them... They try to fill it, but they can't. They don't know that, they don't care, but they always know where to look." River explained, getting up and moving something she'd set up slightly to the left.

"What are you saying?" Kaylee asked, having a feeling she already knew, but hoping she was wrong.

River turned and looked to her then, her eyes finding Kaylee's effortlessly, as if River had known just where to look, down to the millimeter. "They always know, Kaylee. Always." She said, looking at her for a few almost timeless moments, then quietly turning back to what she was doing.

"You saying... they'll find us, right? Even... Even if we run?" She asked.

"Can run, but we can't hide. _Better to stand and fight and die with nobility, than to cast our fates upon the rocks..._" She looked over to Kaylee again. "So Elina Kensington said once... She died, those that followed her too, but we won't... Promise." She said, turning back to her work.

Kaylee watched her work a few more minutes, then got up and found her gun belt, retrieved it from the place she'd been keeping it beside the bed, and put it on, keeping the gun out and on her lap as she went back to sit down and watch River do what she was doing.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	12. Fighting The Hollows (3)

**Fighting The Hollows... Part 3: ~ BETTER TO STAND AND FIGHT ~**

* * *

About an hour or so later, Kaylee found herself pacing back and forth, nervousness, irritability, and fear her only company. River had left, went out into the woods. The light was just starting to die on the far off horizon. Through the widows, you could see the beginnings of what was probably gonna be a very beautiful sunset. Not that, things being what they were, Kaylee was in any sort of mood to appreciate it properly.

River had told her to stay put, but, crazy as she knew it was, Kaylee wanted to be out there, with her. It was all very unfamiliar, feeling this way about someone. She didn't have a name for it, or know how to explain it, even to herself, but with River, it was just... different. Complicated.

With the men she'd been with, it was never like that, never complicated, just fun and easy (at least when things were good between her and the man in question). There wasn't a lot to think about, least not this much. With River though, she felt nervous, and afraid for no good reason sometimes (though there was _definitely_ a good reason for that now, which only made it worse). Her mind just wouldn't stop racing sometimes, thoughts she wasn't at all sure she wanted to have, but... River. Something about her, just... did the trick. Fit. Kaylee felt so wrapped up in her already, and, while she didn't know quite what to do with it yet, with all these feelings, she knew she didn't want it to stop. Didn't want for this not to have happened... Well, if it ended up them getting tortured and raped for days then killed by Reavers, then she imagined she'd mightily wish the crash hadn't happened, but then when would a person _not_ regret being tortured, raped, and killed to death? So that didn't really rightly count, now did it?

She looked down at the gun in her hand. They said that, if it looked like you were done for anyways, was far better putting an end to yourself than letting the Reavers have you. The stories she'd heard, things she'd seen, she believed it. Still, she wasn't sure she'd be able to actually do it, if it came to that.

"Zuzhou de mingyun he ta de suoyou mafan de haizi..." She whispered to herself. She looked out the window and thought of River out there. Somehow, as wildly improbable as it seemed to think about in any rational way, Kaylee just had this feeling... that they'd be okay. That, somehow, someway, River actually _would_ protect them both. One woman though, even a phenomenon like River, against a horde of Reavers she didn't know how many strong...? Any way she looked at it, no one in their right mind would give River more than a snowball's chance in the hot place a getting out of it in one piece. Anyone'd ever seen a Reaver in person'd be like to think so. Savage didn't even cover it. There was something just so... far... from anything human about them. _Hollows_, River'd called them, and, you'd have to admit, the name fit. Still though, Kaylee had the crazy thought that River would win somehow, and she was trying to just... hold onto that.

"I had any sense in my head, I woulda dragged her outa here anyway I could. Take our chances running." She muttered to herself a little ruefully, sitting down on the bed, head in her hands, her frustration getting the better of her.

_"They're here now."_ Kaylee heard River's voice through the comm.

Kaylee was on her feet and over to the comm station in a flash. "River? River, you still there?" She sent back urgently. But there was no reply, just silence. She let loose a string of Chinese obscenities and kicked the wall, hurting her toes a little. Luckily, she'd been wearing boots.

She was almost regretting that she'd got the comms working again. Any message they sent wouldn't carry into space much past a low stationary orbit, the state their transmitter was in, but it meant that one of them could call back to the ship when they were out if they had a comm unit with them. Right now, that wasn't exactly a comfort... wasn't exactly _not_ either, it was just...

She went back to the bed and sat on the edge and started to look intently at the shuttle's hatch, her gun in her hands. Course the traps were there still, but River'd told her where to walk to avoid them, in case Kaylee needed to get out. She _could_ go outside. Of course, she wouldn't know where River was to look for her, but still...

Time seemed to pass slow and quick at the same time. So she wasn't really sure how long it was until a sudden, soft noise caused her to startle a little and get to her feet. The shuttle was supposed to be sound-proofed, but, since the crash, it wasn't no more. Wouldn't be again unless repairs were made to the hull.

There were more sounds then, sounds that definitely didn't belong to the forest outside. Not that there _had been_ many forest sounds coming in that evening, just a soft wind in the trees sound. It was like all the animals knew something truly dangerous was coming, and they'd all been sensible and went to hole up somewheres 'til it was over.

She bit her lip a little, clenched her fists, said something her mother wouldna approved of in Chinese, marched across the cabin, and pressed the button to open the hatch.

The light from the sunset came in on the breeze right along with the sounds of fighting.

Kaylee's nerves were more on edge than she could ever remember them being. She knew this was stupid, knew she was probably more than likely gonna get herself killed, but it didn't matter, because for the life of her, she couldn't think of anything else to do but go out there. River might need her help.

It was strange, like her actions weren't even really her own. She knew that, as soon as the hatch finished going down, she'd run out there. She knew it. She couldn't even remember having decided she was going to do it, but she _was_ going to. Was just a fact.

The hatch hadn't hit dirt yet when she saw River out there, surrounded by Reavers, men an women all a horror, and her feet were moving, gaining speed. The hatch hit dirt, and suddenly River turned and their eyes met and River was moving right at her, so fast, and she could swear there wasn't even the sound of her feet on the deck plating. Then River's arm caught her around the middle, twirled her around somehow and, faster than she could really understand how it happened, she found herself being carried, gentle feeling as a feather, in River's arms just like that, the other girl hardly having seemed to even break stride in the doing of it. Kaylee only had time for the brief thought of _how in the heck did she do that?_

Behind them there was the sound of screaming and, what sounded to be bloody mayhem, plain and simple. River was setting her down gently on the bed. "Stay. I won't die." She promised her simply. "Believe in me."

Kaylee watched a little dumbly as River turned around to face what was coming, reloading her gun. Kaylee couldn't help herself, she moved to look around River at what was happening. The Reavers had followed River through and were being cut down mercilessly by the, as it turned out, deadly efficient traps that River had set. There... There were a lot of them though, and the ones behind just seemed to climb over the bodies of the fallen. Some started to make their way through that way and Kaylee watched as River calmly and efficiently killed them, one shot each to the forehead, right dead center every time.

Before long though, River's gun ran out of ammunition and she had no time to reload again. River already had a short sword in one hand and now she tossed aside her gun and drew a machete from behind her. What was next were a series of swift, brutal strikes. River just seemed to, it was almost like a dance for her, one she had every move down pat to an then some. Watching her like that, Kaylee couldn't help but think that maybe... Maybe she'd had it backwards, and it was the Reavers who'd never had a chance, stead of the two of them.

One of the Reavers came at her, a woman with three small human skulls on a macabre necklace around her neck, cheeks slashed with scarred over cuts, eyes that sent a chill through her unlike anything Kaylee'd ever felt before. Almost without conscious thought, she found herself raising her gun to meet the threat. Time seemed to slow unnaturally and somehow she had the time to think, _There's not enough time._ She wouldn't get her gun raised and aimed before the Reaver would be on top of her. But, the next thing she knew, the Reaver woman was falling to the floor before her, her head sliced clean off. A few bits of blood sprayed Kaylee's face, and, absently, she thought, _There's not enough blood_... She'd seen heads lopped off before, and there was always more blood sprayed about than that. Had River really moved so fast?

She looked up and met River's eyes. River, standing there, dirty and bloodied, the only one sides her left alive apparently. She'd won. They were safe. And she'd kept her word... She hadn't died.

River turned and threw her machete, killing one last Reaver who'd been hurt but not killed by one of her traps, then turned back to her. Their eyes met again as River walked over to her then, dropping her last weapon carelessly on the floor before kneeling down in front of her. The look in her eyes was haunted... but also sure and hopeful. "Everything will be all right." River told her softly, simply. "It's over now."

Kaylee moved forward and was hugging River to her then mightily, a few tears falling down her cheeks and no words immediately coming to her lips.

"Kaylee..." River started to say.

But Kaylee backed away just enough to move in and kiss her girlfriend fiercely. River acted surprised and tensed up a little at first, but then relaxed into the kiss and returned it. When the kiss finally ended by seeming mutual consent, Kaylee found herself feeling a little lightheaded, her heart beating fast in her chest. She closed her eyes a moment and tried to steady herself. "I'm not sure I believe all that stuff that just happened really did, just so you know."

"That happens to me sometimes too. It can be kind frustrating when it happens unexpectedly." River replied, seemingly in all sincerity. "...So I can relate." She told her, those last wistful words she'd spoken just sort of fading away she they left her lips.

Kaylee smiled a little of a charmed smile and kissed her just lightly on the lips for but a second. "You're kind of really amazing, you know that... If I haven't said it before." She told her. "Thank you."

"What for?" River asked curiously.

"Saving our lives again, dummy." Kaylee told her. "It's getting to be a habit for you."

River simply looked at her curiously. "You're welcome, then." She said with just the beginning of a smile before she sat down on the floor and sighed, getting up and crawling up onto the bed. "I need to sleep now though, I think." She explained, yawning in an oddly cute way as she lay down on her side and closed her eyes.

Kaylee smiled a little to watch this and thought again just how amazing River was sometimes. All the inexplicable things she could do... but watching her falling off to sleep like that, she looked just like any normal woman. Well, she was also very pretty to look at, even with the blood and dirt and such, but still...

Kaylee sighed and forced herself to look over at the carnage that was piled up on the hatch and strewn about the cabin of the shuttle they called home now. "This is going to take forever to get clean..." She said to the room. And it was already starting to smell.

She didn't feel like it at all, but they had no place else to sleep or live and she knew she had to start cleaning this up... and hope she'd be able to hold her stomach while she did, because, as she got up to start doing that, she really was starting to feel like she might throw up.

And it wasn't as though they had so much in the way of food supplies that they could well afford her doing that, now did they?

* * *

Chinese translations:

"Zuzhou de mingyun he ta de suoyou mafan de haizi..." = "Curse fate and all its troublesome children..."

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	13. Fighting The Hollows (4)

**Fighting The Hollows... Part 4: ~ THE UNIVERSE ~**

* * *

After laying down for around a half hour in a light nap while Kaylee had started the cleanup process, River startled awake and sat up, bolt straight, blinking her eyes in confusion a little.

Kaylee, who'd sat down by the window to take a break and steady her mind, noticed right away and got up to go over to her. "You alright?" She asked in an almost shy sort of voice.

River looked over to her, blinking a few times, then fell back onto the bed and sighed. "My head makes too much noise sometimes."

Kaylee considered that for a moment, and, though she did feel kind of nervous around River again all of the sudden for some reason, she nonetheless went over on the bed and got down lying next to her, tilted River's head to the side, and kissed her. Once, then more often. Not really seriously, but very intently nonetheless. Soon, River seemed to get completely absorbed in the activity, which is what Kaylee had been aiming for. "Better?" She asked softly after a while.

River blinked in confusion. "Better than what?" She asked absently, moving to start kissing her again.

Kaylee started to giggle a little at that. "Better than too much noise, I mean." She explained, finding it endearing that them kissing had made River lose her train of thought so completely.

River seemed to understand then, but nevertheless pushed her over onto her back and started kissing her again. "Better than anything..." River spoke just softly between kisses.

Kaylee let the make out session continue for a while, because, honestly, she felt like she needed it right then too, but before long, better sense and the realization that they were in fact making out in a room full of dead bodies, made her make a sort of whining noise and reluctantly push River away.

"Why are we stopping?" River asked, clearly disappointed.

"We're in a room full of dead bodies, and you need a bath. Me also, but you first." She told her with a sort of fond smile.

"Oh..." River replied. "That makes sense then, I guess." She admitted, reluctantly sitting up and looking out at the room.

Kaylee got up to sitting too and moved over beside her girlfriend. "Are you all right...? You know, after... all of that?"

"...My right elbow hurts." She said softly. "I used it to hit one of the hollow men in the head. It was... necessary."

"...That's not what I meant, and I think you know that." Kaylee replied, taking River's hand in hers.

River was silent a moment. "It was necessary..." She finally repeated. "And I helped them, to escape."

"Escape?" Kaylee asked softly.

"From life." River replied, looking over, a little unsure, to Kaylee. "To some people, it's a prison... even if they never meant it to be."

Kaylee was silent and River got up, walking towards the mass of bodies at the hatch.

"I'll take this part. Some of the traps might still be dangerous..." River explained softly, Kaylee very deliberately watching as her girlfriend stepped over and around the corpses her traps had killed, making her way down to where the hatch met the ground and picking one of the corpses up in her arms. "I think we should bury them, in proper graves, don't you?" She asked, not turning to meet Kaylee's eyes.

Kaylee had gotten up off the bed too, so as to keep River in sight still. "It'll take us a long time..." Kaylee offered, even though she agreed and was in fact glad that River would think of that. It was another comforting thing, after having seen River do... what she'd done, to save them.

"I know. I still want to, though." River replied, carrying the body she'd picked up down off of the hatch and setting it away from the ship, then coming back to retrieve another.

Kaylee turned and went to start dragging bodies over closer to the hatch. "See if you can make a path through, then I can help more, okay?"

"Okay." River agreed, meeting Kaylee's eyes again.

"And... don't worry, we'll give them proper burials River, I promise." Kaylee offered.

River smiled a little falteringly before she knelt down and picked another body up in her arms. "His name was... Jeffery Thomas Eagan. He had two sons, but his wife left him, because she didn't want to be a mother anymore..." River spoke as she picked him up and carried him off.

Kaylee swallowed and felt like she might cry. This was all just so wrong. Someone like River, she had no business doing things like this. Course, Kaylee considered, neither of them did, really. Nor most anyone else, she imagined. Even the Reavers maybe, whatever had happened to make them like they were.

The universe, she reckoned, if it were alive somehow like some people thought, named God or whatever else, really must not believe much in fairness. Unless you counted it as fair to let people pay for sins what they had no part in whatsoever.

* * *

The cleanup effort lasted well on past sunset. They were working by just the lights from inside the shuttle now, carrying the bodies out, then cleaning up inside enough so that at least the place wouldn't stink unbearably come morning.

By the end of it, they were both, fair to say, just running on fumes. It'd had to be done though, no two ways about it.

River had fallen silent at some point, and Kaylee hadn't felt the need to break that silence. They just sort of worked at what they were doing together without either of them having to tell the other anything besides maybe a look or a gesture here or there. It was plain and obvious what had to be done after all, not lotta guess work involved.

At least Kaylee's stomach had calmed down to just a dull aching by then and she wasn't so worried about throwing up anymore. That was something, right?

When at last it looked like they were done enough, Kaylee sat back against a wall and looked over at River who was sitting on the floor looking around the room as if in search of something to do next. Her eyes met Kaylee's. "Done now?" She asked, with a little tired hopefulness in her voice.

Kaylee wiped some sweat from her forehead and lay her head back against the wall. "Better be." Was all she said.

She heard River do something and brought her head back up to see that River had just laid herself out on her back spread-eagle on the still blood-stained floor. She couldn't help it, she laughed a little. It was comical was what it was. It was also kind of amazing, how what River _did_ seemed to speak so much more clearly than what her words sometimes said.

Her body already starting to ache too much for her tastes from all the heavy lifting she'd done, Kaylee hauled herself up to her feet and went over to River. She knelt down beside her and took her hand in hers. "Can't sleep on the floor like this, yaknow." She told her reasonably.

River rolled her head to the side so their eyes met. "Are you sure about that?" She asked skeptically. "I think it might be a good idea to do tests..."

Kaylee smiled fondly. "Nothing doing. Gotta get you up and out a those clothes. Into bed." She said, tugging on River's arm a little.

River groaned cutely a little. "No sex until after a bath, a lady's gotta have standards." She grumbled tiredly, yawning and closing her eyes again.

Kaylee felt her cheeks burn a little hot at that. "I'm not getting fresh, you. Now come on, _up!_ Otherwise I'm liable to pass out here on top ah you, then we're both in trouble." She complained stubbornly.

"Fine..." River mumbled, opening her eyes and letting Kaylee help her up to her feet. "But I'm only doing this because I'm in love with you, it's important you should know that." She explained tiredly. Kaylee guided them over to the bed then and River sort of fell down onto it, face first.

Kaylee was too tired to laugh, and simply climbed up on to the bed too and started to tug River's clothes off. River protested a little, but, after a moment, tried to help not hinder at least. Even helped her when Kaylee was trying to get her own clothes off. She tossed all the garments into an empty corner and got under the covers with River at last. It wasn't a shower, but at least with their clothes off it wouldn't be too gross or uncomfortable for them to get to sleep.

Kaylee thought to maybe say something nice or girlfriend-like to River before falling off, but as soon as River's head hit the pillow, she was out like a light, snuggled into Kaylee's arms happy as you please, apparently, from the look of peace that seemed to wash over her face. She looked... really beautiful... sleeping like this. Not that she always didn't, but... Kaylee sighed and yawned, holding her girlfriend to her and finding it very easy to fall off to sleep (pass out really) right after her.

Her last thought, was that River had said... she was in love with her.

Despite that this, what she'd seen and all the bodies she'd carried, probably made this one of the most horrible days of her life thus far, that fact seemed to somehow make up for it... Well, at least as far as anything rightly _could_ make up for something like that, which, she had to admit, maybe wasn't really all that far when you got down to it.

Still, it made her feel a good deal better, more hopeful, which was something she was dearly grateful for right about then.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	14. Fighting The Hollows (5)

**Fighting The Hollows... Part 5: ~ SOUL SINGING ~**

* * *

In the morning, well past dawn, Kaylee woke to find herself pretty much in the same position as when she'd gone to sleep: holding River in her arms. She touched River's hair a little and that one small action seemed to cause River to stir, blink her eyes open, and kiss her. Just a peck really, but it make Kaylee smile a little, and feel just a bit shy also.

"Hey, you." She said softly.

"Hay is for horses, not people..." River spoke sleepily.

"...Then why'd my mom an dad feed it to me in the mornings back home so often?" She asked back in play.

"That's nonsensical." River replied. "Your assertion has no veracity, does it?"

"Only if it makes you smile?" Kaylee asked.

River opened her eyes again and smiled a little, a small but bright seeming smile that charmed Kaylee instantly all the way down to her soul, then River moved to kiss her. Kaylee found herself on her back next thing, and thoroughly enjoyed the feeling.

It was a minute or two later when River was kissing her neck right below her chin that she suddenly stopped and lay her head down on Kaylee's shoulder and sighed. "We both smell badly like. Baths are needed." She admitted as though the idea both appealed to her, for obvious reasons, and disagreed with her because she didn't like the idea of getting up, which Kaylee could relate to also. Still, if they weren't going to be fooling around anymore, a bath was just what Kaylee wanted.

"Sold." Kaylee replied, getting up while River just sort of flopped back on the bed on her back and made an almost whining sort of sound in protest. Kaylee laughed just a little and somehow found that very endearing. _I _must_ be in love_, she thought ruefully. "Um, how about I go get the bath ready. You just lounge in bed awhile longer? I'd say you earned it, after all."

River moaned just a little and curled up, closing her eyes. "You're the best girlfriend ever." She praised her sleepily.

Kaylee just smiled at that. "I love you too, River." She said softly, turning to get up out of bed. Before she could though, River encircled her in a hug from behind and kissed her cheek.

"Your words are magic." River spoke softly, kissing her again, seeming to have come more awake all a sudden with Kaylee's declaration.

"Says the original magician, brought back from long ago, bag a tricks no one knows how deep." Kaylee replied fondly.

"They're only tricks if you don't know the math, and can't sing the music." River replied softly.

"...I could sing for you. If you wanted..." Kaylee found herself saying somehow, emotion rough in her throat.

"...Songs should only be sung when they call to you, Kaylee Frye... Is one calling you now?" River asked.

Kaylee smiled. "Only if you're a song, and not a person like I thought you were."

"Is it hard to tell the difference?" River asked, still softly, kissing her neck lightly again.

"No... but, I gotta admit, sometimes you do remind me of a song, River Tam." Kaylee admitted, her voice also soft, somehow feeling she was lost in a world she'd never been to before. Maybe the one River lived in so often.

"How?" River asked.

"...The way I feel when you're with me? I don't know how to explain it, really. But, it's not that unlike how I'd feel... when I was listening to a really beautiful song, and it feels like it's moving my soul, because there's just... such amazing beauty there, plain to see." She explained, some amount of shyness weaving its way in between her words. It scared her a little, saying these things out loud. Things she hadn't really completely realized before she'd said them out into the open like this.

"Then... we're a good match, because that's just... very precisely how I feel when I'm with you..." River admitted simply, laying her head on Kaylee's shoulder.

Kaylee felt her heart swell up with emotions, and she knew then, even more than she had before, that she was surely, truly falling in love again. With someone who loved her right back.

That'd only really happened to her once before.

She just hoped... this time, it'd turn out better.

* * *

Sometime later, after having taken baths and eating breakfast together, they both set about moving the bodies of the dead Reavers out away from the ship and into the woods, into a nearby clearing, where she and River planned to dig graves for them all. It was hard, sweaty, generally ugly work, but they'd got it down to a rhythm. She was using the litter that River had made for her back before, when she'd had her ribs hurt after the crash, to carry bodies, while River was just simply picking them up in her arms and carrying them like it was no bother at all. How she could just _do_ things like that...

Kaylee had suggested that they make a second litter, but River had said that it felt like they were her weight to carry... as she'd been the one to kill them and everything, Kaylee guessed. She'd counted: there were forty-two Reavers in all. She'd been a little stunned to find out there'd been so many, and that River had fought and killed them all, an her coming out of it with only but a little of a hurt elbow? It was hard for Kaylee to get her mind around it, actually... but then, that was River all over, wasn't it? Inexplicable, and just downright amazing sometimes...

By lunch time, they'd managed to get all of the Reavers into the clearing, lined up in rows next to where they planned to dig the graves for each. "That's the last of them, I'd say." Kaylee spoke up, wiping some sweat from her forehead and going over to River who was bringing one body over to lay it next to another. "Why you doing that?" Kaylee asked curiously.

"They loved each other once, before they lost themselves somewhere out in the dark. Philippe Yang Se and Marcus Cole Wright. They had a son together, named Jared Cole Yang Se, and they'd had a nice... A nice life. They lost their knowing, lost their song, lost each other, all gone... but its right they should be together now, at the last... Don't you think so?" River asked her, her voice reverent and sad, but maybe also edging towards hopeful, and when her and Kaylee's eyes met, Kaylee could see River's eyes were a little misty, like she might cry if she thought about these things much longer.

Kaylee went to her and hugged her and felt River start to cry like she thought might happen. "It's okay, River. It'll be okay, I promise." By this point, the question of _how_ River might possibly know what the names of the two dead Reavers were was barely a concern for her. Sure, a sensible person would say that River was probably just making things up, maybe to cope or make herself feel better or whatever else, but, by this point, Kaylee surely didn't think that was it at all. She'd seen too much. She had no good explanations and had since given up trying to get them from River herself whom, she thought, might well not even know. She did believe that River was connected to something, some greater knowledge or whatever it was, but, whatever the truth might be, she now believed in it. She believed in River... That the things she said, they all had a meaning, even if Kaylee couldn't always quite manage to guess at what those meanings might be.

"You have faith then?" River asked faintly.

Kaylee broke the hug and still held River in her arms as she gently wiped her girlfriend's tears away with her thumb. "I don't know, maybe I do. I do today, at least." Kaylee admitted to her. "And I love you, and you love me, and that makes a big difference too."

"A blessing then, for the those that's left and gone to live other lives. Do you believe in such things?" River asked.

"Do you?" Kaylee asked back gently, touching River's face.

River smiled a sad sort of smile. "I do today, at least." She echoed, nuzzling her cheek into Kaylee's hand a little and closing her eyes a moment. "We should go home now... We have berries we can eat." She said, opening her eyes and meeting Kaylee's curious gaze.

Kaylee felt like her heart skipped a beat almost, that look in her girlfriend's eyes. River had a way of doing that sometimes. Sometimes Kaylee'd look into her eyes, and... she didn't know how to say it exactly, but it was like... That everything that ever was or ever could be, might just be looking right back at her in those eyes somehow. She swallowed a little and moved in to gently kiss River... only a short kiss, but one that made them both smile.

She took River's hand in hers then and they walked together back through the woods, leaving the bodies of the dead to be tended to later.

They were half way back when River spoke. "I think I should build a bigger bathtub." She said thoughtfully.

"You do, huh?" Kaylee replied, a little of a curious smile coming to her lips. "Not that I'm complaining, but why's that exactly?" She asked.

"Proximity." River replied simply.

Kaylee thought about that a few moments and promptly blushed a little. "Proximity, huh?" She asked a little shyly.

"I'd need your permission though. Do you think it's a good idea?" River asked.

Kaylee considered that. "Yeah... Don't see what it could hurt." She admitted softly. "I'll help." She offered.

River didn't say anything back at first, but then, a few moments later. "Kaylee... Why do you suppose we fell in love?" She asked.

Kaylee was caught off guard by that, but thought about her answer seriously.

"Why does anybody...?" She asked back softly some moments later.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	15. Fighting The Hollows (6)

**Fighting The Hollows... Part 6: ~ MERMAIDS IN SPACE ~**

* * *

It was on into evening now.

They'd buried some of the bodies... River had spoken at each of the graves after they'd been laid to rest, so it took longer than it would've otherwise. Not that Kaylee was about to object. Everyone deserved words said when it was their time, if it could be managed... She believed that too.

They'd taken turns at baths again after the work had been done, and washed the bed sheets best they could also. Eaten a meal together.

Their supplies were getting low. They'd need to be out looking for food more often now. Maybe start a garden too, Kaylee considered. First steps on the path to a farm could even be, she supposed.

But that was for later. Now, they had clean sheets and were washed clean of the sweat and grime of a long day's work in the sun, and somehow... Kaylee found, she wasn't really all that tired.

In fact, as River came over and got on the bed with her, the both of them lacking any clothes, Kaylee felt positively energized.

All their clothes were dirty and they were both too tired to clean them. There were some of Inara's things. Really nice things, still left unappropriated and clean, but somehow Kaylee didn't think that seeing River all done up in silk like that was really going to be much better. And... she'd liked sleeping without last night, so she hadn't suggested raiding anymore of Inara's possessions, and neither had River. So here they were, and Kaylee couldn't quite make her eyes move away.

She swallowed a little nervousness, but, then, nervousness wasn't exactly what was driving her most right at the moment. How she'd come to that place for herself just now, she wasn't quite sure, but she wasn't complaining. Not at all. She wanted... proximity, with River, and she was very, very sure of that at this point. When her eyes, having traveled up River's body without much hurry, finally met River's eyes, she knew that River knew what was going to happen just as sure as she did.

She felt a confidence in herself about this that she'd been missing at realizing that, and she got up out from under the covers and went over to River, touched her hair, her face, her arms. They moved closer to one another, their lips met, and they kissed.

"Tell me you want this too, wo de ai? I know you do, I just... I want the words." Kaylee asked when the kisses stopped and they were in each other's arms.

Before she really knew any different, Kaylee found herself on her back, River's eyes, clear and intense, looking down into hers. Kaylee couldn't help but feel like those eyes really... really saw her... All of her, every bit, in a way that shouldn't even be possible, but was anyway.

"Down deep, in parts of me that are timeless and have no names... I think... that I have always wanted this." River confessed with gentle, heartfelt honesty.

"...Oh..." Was all Kaylee could say. The way River had said that just now had lit a fire in her like nothing else ever had. Her heart was beating fast, her skin was hot underneath, and when River's lips came down to claim hers again, Kaylee moved up to meet them.

River's body against hers was like music in her blood, and, as they made love, Kaylee imagined, maybe their blood, their hearts, or whatever else, maybe they started singing together. In songs, in music, they had a word for that...

They called it harmony.

But it was more than that, it was life. And, especially after the last two days, that was something Kaylee was beyond grateful to be able to feel. Something, she imagined, that they had both needed to feel. Even and beyond the darkness that had come over their lives the last two days.

It was something everyone needed, even though few ever got it...

* * *

Sometime in the night, Kaylee stirred in her sleep. The feeling of weightlessness seemed to just fade away from her. She and River were space mermaids, right? Her mostly still asleep brain told her. But then, no she wasn't. They weren't. Someone was talking... someone familiar. She'd been dreaming, she realized. Dreaming her and River had found a magic golden wishing dolphin that had turned them into space mermaids so they could leave and go home to Serenity, because the dolphin was afraid River would burn down the forest when she made the bigger bathtub.

"Well, that obviously didn't happen." She said a little blurrily to herself under her breath as she opened her eyes.

She heard the familiar crackle of static, then something very much _not_ static. _"Repeat, is anyone there?"_ She heard that now vividly recognizable voice say.

"Inara?" She asked out loud, sitting up quick and getting up quicker, scrambling over to the comm station and clicking the reply button just as Inara started to say something else.

"Inara? Is that really you?" Kaylee asked.

* * *

Chinese translations for this chapter:

"wo de ai" = "my love"

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	16. A Voice Calling From The Dark (1)

**A Voice Calling From The Dark... Part 1: ~ INARA ~**

* * *

"_Kaylee!_ Oh, Kaylee, yes, it's me, I'm here. _Ganxie suoyou cengjing shi fu_, are you all right? Is Serenity...?"

"No, no we ain't on Serenity, sorry to have to say..." Kaylee managed to find the words to reply. "We're in your shuttle as a matter of fact, River and me. We got caught out on our shopping trip when the Reavers came." She told her, her voice sounding delicate and thoughtful. "Wasn't time to get back. Last we saw Serenity, she was breaking through the clouds in our rearview, us heading in for a hard landing." As she spoke, it almost felt like if she said these things too loud she might wake up and find she'd still been dreaming. Inara. She wanted to whoop for joy, Inara was really alive...

"That sounds terrible. You're both alright, I hope?" Inara asked, concerned.

Kaylee looked over to the bed and saw River sitting up, blinking the sleep from her eyes.

Their eyes met.

"We're fine." Kaylee replied, her voice unconsciously warming a little with the affection River so easily seemed to bring out in her now a days. "River got us down safe. I had some cracked ribs to begin with, but I'm fine now." _I had a good doctor_, she thought to herself.

"I'm relieved... but... what... What about Mal, and the others? They didn't come back for you? You haven't had news?" Inara questioned. It was clear she was worried about everyone, but, Kaylee thought, probably the captain in particular, if she was to guess. What it was between Mal and Inara was fair on hard to guess at exactly, but it weren't hard to guess there definitely _was_ something.

"No... No news. Haven't heard a peep." Kaylee answered as River came over to her and wrapped them in a bed sheet to keep them warm, sitting down next to her on the couch.

"Oh, I see..." Inara replied.

"Inara, where are you anyways?" Kaylee asked softly.

"She's under the mountain." River answered for her. "Keeps her safe."

"She's... right." Inara replied back. "River? How could you...?" Her voice trailed off though, the question left incomplete.

"...The wind whispers secrets to her." Kaylee replied when River simply laid her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes sleepily. "That's all I can figure. What does that mean exactly though: under a mountain?"

"...Poor James, the governor. As it turns out, he had a bunker built inside the mountain under his home, for emergencies. Though he wasn't so considerate as to have them built for the other residences in his colony, I'm afraid." Inara explained, only somewhat bitterly. "I'm down here with him, his family, and a couple of his staff. The bunker has kept us safe enough, but, you see... when the Reavers couldn't get in, I believe they blockaded the door somehow so that we couldn't get out either."

"...Oh, well... I mean that's terrible and all, but at least you're alive, right?" Kaylee replied, trying to look on the positive side. Despite River's statements on the subject, facts being what they were, she hadn't really held out much hope that Inara could somehow still be alive out there. So, obviously, she thought the fact that she'd been proven wrong was a cause to be very cheerful. "How long do you think you can hold out? And you have any way a knowing if the Reavers are still lingering about? We're a fair ways off out a town, but I imagine we could hike back if we had to. Try an dig you out."

"I'm sure we'd all be very grateful for that, Kaylee... Thank you." Inara said with soft, sincere gratitude. "And, as it turns out, yes. The bunker is connected to a number of outside vid-feeds, covering the town from above and, closer in, in some of the public areas as well. We've been keeping watch and some of the Reavers apparently did get left behind after the initial attack somehow, but we haven't seen much of them for almost a week now. It's hard to say what to make of it."

_Probably, they're gone now cause most of them been left dirtside came to visit us_, Kaylee thought ruefully of the recent attack River had defended them against. She didn't say as much out loud, though. "Sounds almost like that right honorable mayor a yours thought Reavers might pay this place a visit ahead a time, don't it...?" Kaylee observed instead. It wasn't as though even Inara, shipmate and friend that she was, would likely believe that adorable but kinda mad seeming River Tam all by herself killed that many of those... things, people, whatever Reavers were. That, and she really wasn't sure it was such a good idea to let that fact get out, regardless. She felt she could almost certainly trust Inara to keep it to herself, but it sounded like Inara might not be the only one listening. And, if it did get out somehows, especially considering what happened on Ariel that time, it might end up being dangerous to River someday. Well, if they ever got back up to space again that was... Which wasn't necessarily a sure thing, she acknowledged. Sure, the captain and the others'd come back for them if they could, but who's to say they still, um, could?

"That thought had occurred to me as well." Inara replied. "I asked him about it once, but he told me he'd thought Reavers were just a spacer's tale, like a lot of people from the inner colonies do, and that this bunker of his was merely an insurance measure against natural disasters or _possible civil unrest_. Which, I admit, might make sense I suppose. If you're paranoid." She supplied. "In any case, he seemed... quite beside himself. And it wasn't as though pursuing the matter would do much good to anyone. So I thought I'd let it lie. Stephen, James's man servant, wasn't so forgiving however. He didn't believe his employer's excuse, and... his family had been out there, so, well... I'm sure you can imagine..."

"What happened?" Kaylee asked as River moved to lay her head down in her lap, wrap herself up in a kind of ball to fit on the couch, and close her eyes.

"At first, Stephen wanted to kill him... or beat him until he confessed, at the least. I talked him out of that, but only because I reminded him that the man's children would be watching... Still, it was an... uneasy peace. The tension only seemed to build between them. And James, poor James, well, he wasn't doing well besides that. He started to became anxious, and rather more paranoid. It all came to a head a couple days ago, in fact. James said something... distasteful, and completely tactless, and Stephen... snapped. Stephen's a fairly big man, bigger than James, surely, but James was, well, he must have been nearly insane by that point, I'm afraid. He managed to hit Stephen over the head with the base of the nearby bust of his late wife. Stephen was dazed and James rolled him away and got on top of him, meaning to strike him again. Kill him, I think. I grabbed his arm and stopped him before he could, but he pushed me away and turned on me, as though he meant to do me in as well. I had my gun, so... I shot him." Inara told her story.

"Well, I mean, it's too bad and all, but it hardly sounds like the man gave you much choice." Kaylee put in.

"No, he really didn't. I did try to shoot to wound though." Inara explained.

"That was kind." Kaylee assessed, thinking she herself wouldn't have been inclined to take chances in a situation like that. But then she wasn't quite as talented with a gun as was Inara, so she probably wouldna had the luxury of as much of a choice in a situation like that anyways. She stroked River's hair then and thought again how grateful she was to have River with her. How grateful she was to her for saving their lives the other night.

"Perhaps, and perhaps not. He's in a bad state, Kaylee. I don't think he'll survive past the next day or two." Inara explained. "Perhaps if Simon or another doctor were here... but of course, there's little chance of that, I suppose..."

"Yeah, suppose not... Um, so, and the others down there with you? They doing all right? You all have enough supplies to last a while?" She asked. "How long do you think?"

"Oh, the bunker's well enough supplied, have no fear on that account. There's enough food to last all of us years, and fresh water from an underground well." Inara told them.

"And the others with you? Who all is that by the way?" Kaylee questioned.

"Well, Stephen I already mentioned." Inara replied. "He had a bad headache from the blow he received, but he's doing fine. Then there's James's children, May and Daniel. Ten and Twelve. And the household cook, Frita, who's not doing that well with being trapped underground. She's got a fear of enclosed spaces. Not a bad case, but still, I think she's only managed to keep herself together for the children's sake. She's... a brave woman."

"Braver than her employer, that's for sure." Kaylee agreed.

"True, but, then... in this case, his fear seems to have kept us alive, so I don't suppose I really have fair cause to complain, do I?" Inara told her with her usual equanimity.

"Well, when you put it like that..." Kaylee saw her point.

"Kaylee..." Inara spoke softly.

"Yeah?"

"It's... just really good to hear your voice, you know?" Inara said.

"Yeah... Yours too." Kaylee told her back. "Listen, the shuttle's a lost cause unless I can get replacement parts, but don't you worry. Me an River, we'll pack up our things and get ourselves over to you, soon as we can. Dig you out, whatever it takes, okay? I promise."

"...Thank you Kaylee... That means a lot." Inara told her.

"Hey, what're shipmates for?" Kaylee replied, fighting back a yawn. She really did need to get back to sleep, she considered. River had _thoroughly_ worn her out earlier in bed before they'd got around finally to sleeping, and that was after a day of digging graves. But darned if she was gonna let on to Inara that she was so tired just yet. "You know, River said you'd be alive. Said you were tied to this life by strings we'd made. That those strings were stronger than most, an harder to break... You think there's anything to that?"

"...It would be nice to think so, wouldn't it? It's a beautiful thought, in any case..." Inara admitted softly.

"I know, isn't it?" Kaylee said back just as softly. "Inara... Can I tell you something?"

"Of course, Kaylee. You can tell me anything, you know that. What is it? Nothing bad, I hope?" Inara asked carefully.

"No, it's happy news in fact..." She said looking down fondly on River's peacefully sleeping face resting on her lap, and thinking how beautiful she looked like this. How beautiful they'd been together when they'd... made love. How beautiful it was, just being with her like this now even. Or just walking together in the forest. She knew now for dead sure, uncertain though the future might be, that she didn't ever want it to be any other way. "Me an River, we're sort of a couple now." If they got out of this, she was even sort of thinking she'd ask River to marry her, honestly. After all, when it came to the choice of having someone to love or not having them, it was a pretty darn easy choice, specially where River was concerned.

"Well, that's certainly a surprise..." Inara spoke, clearly joyful at the news. "I thought, well, you know, it seemed you had eyes for her brother." She observed, her spirits seeming to be much lifted by the news. "That must be quite a story." She offered, clearly curious.

"Yeah, you could say that. And I guess I did sort of have a crush on Simon, but... well, things change." Kaylee explained helplessly.

"So true. But you're right, that is very happy news, isn't it?" Inara laughed cheerfully a little. "So? How'd it happen? You have to tell me all about it."

"I will, but later, alright? Right now, sad to say, I need my sleep." Kaylee confessed with a yawn she couldn't hold back any longer.

"Oh, of course." Inara conceded. "I didn't realize."

"It's fine. More than fine. It's... It's amazing is what. I'm just, I'm so grateful, you know? Juts... call back in the morning sometime, we'll talk more then. Alight?"

"I will. I promise... Good night, Kaylee. And, I'm happy for you. Very much so."

"Thanks... Night Inara." Kaylee replied, hanging up the comm. "River? Hey, come on, sweetie. Gotta get up and back to bed."

River yawned and sat up, blinking sleep from her eyes again. "What'd I miss?" She asked tiredly.

"We gotta go dig Inara an some other fold outa a hole later." Kaylee supplied.

"Oh... That makes sense then." River replied, yawning again and moving in to kiss her, which surprised Kaylee of course, but in a good way. She laughed though when the kiss ended. "Enough of that now, I'm too tired for that sort of thing."

"You're way too pretty, it's not fair." River said a little discontentedly, yawning again and getting up, managing to walk back to bed and sort of falling back in when she got there.

Kaylee laughed again, very charmed by River's very cute and endearing antics. She got up and, yawning again too, wrapped the sheet around herself and followed her girlfriend back to bed, getting in and sort of wrestling River back under the covers with her.

They snuggled up together and both promptly fell back to sleep.

* * *

Chinese translations for this chapter:

"Ganxie suoyou cengjing shi fu" = "Thank all the Buddhas that ever were"

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	17. A Voice Calling From The Dark (2)

**A Voice Calling From The Dark... Part 2: ~ STARLIGHT ~**

* * *

They'd slept in that morning, and River had woken her up with kisses, and, so it was, that an hour and a half later, Kaylee found herself staring down into River's eyes. River, who was smiling up at her with such serenity and bliss Kaylee felt like she could hardly breathe. Kaylee whined a little piteously and lay down beside her new lover and buried her face in her shoulder. River turned them over on their sides and somehow unerringly found her lips and kissed her. Soon, Kaylee was on her back again being kissed. She moaned and broke away with only halfhearted resolve. "You trying to do me in or something?" She asked with an only slightly shy but mostly just happy sort of smile.

"No... but you are hard to resist kissing... Is it too much?" River asked with a confused sort of innocent worry on her face.

Kaylee touched River's cheek and looked into her eyes. "Of course it's not. It's just... we've got things we have to do, yaknow? We keep going like this, I won't have near enough energy to do anything but sleep some more." She explained. The truth was, she wasn't really as close to getting tired as she mighta been giving the impression she was. Honestly, it was just getting a little too intense for her and she wanted to take a breath as much as anything else of a more practical importance.

River looked annoyed at that, but resignedly got off from on top of her and lay back beside her on her back in bed. "I hate logic." She said, or more like muttered disgruntledly.

Kaylee smiled and got up on top of her, kissing her neck a little and then snuggling in close. "I know what you mean."

"Can we just lay here a while then? I really want to, and it might be needed for... some reason." River asked, wrapping her arms around Kaylee's back.

"Yeah... We can do that." Kaylee agreed, contentedly closing her eyes and settling into cuddle with her girlfriend for a while. Somehow it felt like just what she needed in fact.

They were just silent like that for Kaylee wasn't sure how long, but it was amazing how good it felt. How... How just all of perfect. Even with everything else their situation had them needing to do and all, it really did just seem completely ideal in the right here and now.

Finally though, Kaylee got up on one elbow and brushed some strands of hair away from River's face, their eyes meeting and neither of them seeming to want to look away. "We have to make plans, you know..." She told her.

"A friend to dig up, and enemies to give proper funerals. I'm not very fond of irony either." River explained with a little of a smile.

"At least neither of us will be doing any of it alone." Kaylee reassured with a little frank adoration in her voice. Because really, it was a bit incredulous how deeply she felt like she was falling in love with this woman under her. She felt like maybe she should sing a song or write a poem or do something equally as silly and hopelessly romantic. But, in this case, they really did have miles to go before they slept again (or at least would have tomorrow), so she figured she'd have to put a lot of that sort of thing on hold for a while. Which was probably for the best, since she wasn't that great a singer and had never written much poetry before either.

River smiled. "You are poetry and song, Kaylee. The best kind of all... Didn't you know that?"

Kaylee was a little speechless. "...How'd you know to say that?" She asked as soft as a breath.

River shrugged a little. "Just knew." Was all she said.

"Can you... read my mind or something?" She asked.

"Don't think so." River replied.

"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten..." She started.

"Nine." River answered honestly, and correctly.

Kaylee's eye widened. "If that's not mind reading, what is?" Kaylee asked.

"I don't think it's mind reading if I just know you very well." River offered, a little confusion in her voice. "Well, maybe not as much as I _want_ to know you, but still, the principle holds."

"And you can see the future sometimes." Kaylee provided.

"That too maybe, kind of." River conceded with a little a smile, the emotions behind which Kaylee couldn't quite put her finger on, so she moved down and kissed her. Just briefly.

"I guess it doesn't really matter. Whatever the truth of you is, it wouldn't make much difference. I'd still be hopeless in love with you, wouldn't I?" She told her.

"Even if I'd put you under a magic spell like a witch from mythology?" River asked playfully.

"Well, you didn't, did you?" Kaylee dared.

River laughed. "I deny all knowledge of witchcraft. The broom in my closet is only meant for sweeping."

Kaylee laughed too and kissed her and lay down at her shoulder with a sigh. "So, I guess what we have to do is bury the rest of the dead, get our things together, plan out the trip, and then head out... what, tomorrow morning, I'm thinking?" She put forward, thinking through it logically in her mind. She wasn't exactly expert at long hikes through unfamiliar territory, but she knew enough from her time growing up on Isis to know that you just didn't up and go on one, spur of the moment like. Not if you were fond of living. They'd want to see if they could chart their course at all. The shuttle should have nav records that might be able to help, if the records survived the crash and if she could coax them from the shuttle's databanks. Then they could get their bearings, plan what they'd take with them and all, then get a good night's rest and set off.

"That sounds agreeable." River said agreeably. "...I'm going to miss the bed most though."

"It doesn't bother you what Inara must have gotten up to in here before us?" Kaylee teased.

"Why would it?" River asked, seemingly honestly not knowing.

"No real reason I guess." Kaylee told her. It didn't bother her either, she just wondered if maybe River could, um, see into the past or something, like she did into the future. If she really could see into the future. Was it possible that those people that did this to her just made her... well, really good at guessing things or something? ...If she ever saw them, she was pretty sure she'd just want to kill them all dead though, not ask any questions like that.

"You have funny ideas sometimes." River told her, pushing her over onto her back and kissing her intently for a while before sighing and stopping, sitting up and back on her knees.

Kaylee blinked, feeling a little dazed and wishing River had kept going, despite how impractical it would have been. "A body could get addicted to you." She said with a happy-go-lucky sort of smile as she got up to sitting and met River's eyes again, that same intensity that seemed to only get better between them coming through plain and clear, telling Kaylee again just how right she'd been to fall in love with this woman.

River smiled. "Likewise." She replied simply.

Kaylee closed her eyes and sighed. "Time to go be undertakers?" She put forward reluctantly.

"Are you sure we should? Inara needing us as she does?" River asked a little doubtfully.

"You don't think we should?" Kaylee asked. "It's just, it sounded like Inara and the people with her had plenty of supplies, and we already started. Seems a shame not to finish. And anyway, I thought you wanted us to bury them? Or, you have one of those feelings of yours? That we need to get going soon as possible?"

River shook her head. "No feeling. Just thought maybe it was too sad, that's all."

"...We don't have to, you know. It's not like we really owe them anything. They did try to kill us, you may recall." Kaylee put in, wanting to assuage River's uneasy feelings if she could.

"There are no debts anywhere but in the stories we tell." River replied. She smiled a little then. "It doesn't matter. It just seemed so stark, the difference, and I feel too much... sometimes."

"Yeah... I'm guessing maybe you do, don't you?" Kaylee replied softly. "Anyway, it's up to you."

River moved forward and kissed her briefly. "Sadness and sorrow don't stand a chance against you, do they... my love?"

Kaylee felt a shiver go right through her looking into River's eyes when she'd said_ my love_. She honestly felt like she might swoon or something. Her heart sure felt like it was beating a bit faster anyways, and she definitely felt a desire to be close to her again, as close as could be. She swallowed and shook her head a little. "_Xingguang_..." She whispered. "Don't say things to me like that when we're meant to be getting out of bed." She told her. "It's mean."

River laughed at that, but didn't respond verbally and instead sort of tackled her playfully. They wrestled around a while until Kaylee finally managed to pin River to the bed by her wrists. Of course she knew that River had let her win, but still, looking down into River's eyes and seeing the complete look of trust, of surrender there, it nearly took her breath away.

And of course River chose that moment to turn the tables on her then promptly escape, moving so she was on the edge of the bed and then grabbing Kaylee by the arm and pulling her up and with her a little as she got out of bed. "Come on, we're going to be late." She told her, letting go of her hand and going to retrieve both of their clothes. Kaylee sat on the edge of the bed, bemused, as she watched River do that and bring her clothes back for her then start to put on her own clothing.

Kaylee watched River with undisguised interest while she started to get dressed, but then shook her head out of it and started to get dressed herself.

She had to wonder at it all though. When she'd first met River, she'd known right off what a beauty she was, said as much out loud in fact (even though maybe you could blame that a little on her being gunshot at the time), but this was something altogether else. Like looking up into the sky at night and calling what you saw _space_, and then finding your way up there, flying through it, looking out at it with nothing but a helmet between you and it, and realizing what you thought space was wasn't anywhere near the whole story... not even close... and then maybe still feeling like there was something else even beyond that to know about it. Something you could feel out there, something you wanted to know, but couldn't ever because you were born but human and just weren't built for it. With River though, there wasn't any helmet between them, they were built the same, and she felt like she _could_ know somehow, like she _would_ know, if she'd just spend the time and let herself. And she was _going_ to spend the time.

Because, not all that unlike when she'd really seen space for the first time, looking at River lately, she felt like she had then.

Just plain happy, and pretty much amazed. Like she'd just been given the best gift ever.

And nothing would ever be the same again...

* * *

Chinese translations:

"Xingguang" = "Starlight"

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	18. A Voice Calling From The Dark (3)

**A Voice Calling From The Dark... Part 3: ~ WHERE LOVERS GO ~**

* * *

It was later on in the day now, a while after noon. They'd talked to Inara for a while and then went out and buried the rest of the bodies. Afterward, River had wanted to go for a last swim in the lake before they went. Kaylee had swam with her for a while, but then got up on shore to lay out their picnic lunch for them. Now she was just sitting on shore, arms resting on her knees, chin on her arms, watching River jump off the top of the waterfall and dive into the lake with nary a splash. Kaylee smiled a little wistfully and lay her head on its side, waiting for River to surface, which she did a few moments later closer to her, her starting to swim over to her then. Kaylee watched as her lover made her way back over to her, feeling like she was maybe losing something precious. Her and River alone out here, just them. They'd have the trip to the colony town, but after that, she'd have to share her new girlfriend with other people. Even if one of those other people was one of her best friends. Oh, she knew she and River were steady and all, felt that certain stubborn possessiveness inside her that was a sure tell of that if she'd had any doubts, but still... there was just something magic about being the only two in the world like it'd felt like they'd been these last weeks. Something she was somehow sure she'd miss once it was gone. She smiled though as River got up closer to her and Kaylee sat up on her knees, offering her hand to the woman. River took it and smiled to her, and Kaylee could see it in her eyes that she was thinking about pulling her in.

River apparently kept strong against the temptation though and let Kaylee pull her up to shore with her.

River knelt down next to her next and touched her cheek gently, kissing her. Kaylee felt spellbound and easily felt herself get lost in the simple kiss. She sighed a little blissfully when the kiss was over, looking at River with what must surely look like a lovesick gaze.

"How can you be this pretty?" Kaylee asked, running a hand through River's dripping wet hair.

"It's because I'm in love." River replied simply. "It makes me glow. Makes us both glow... brighter than anything."

Kaylee smiled a little dreamily. "That's so not fair." She told her, River's words just melting her inside. She was far too talented at doing that, Kaylee decided.

River smiled, getting up to her feet and taking one of Kaylee's hands in hers and helping her up in the process also. River turned to her and their eyes met again. "I sometimes think that maybe stars are the places where lovers go after they die, you know. So they can always be together. And so they can keep the worlds that spin around them warm. To give other people a lighted path. A way to join them. A choice, between warmth and love, or darkness and wondering alone... It doesn't make sense really, to choose the other option, but I guess a lot of people must do..."

Kaylee didn't really know what to say or do just then but to move in closer and kiss her, almost reverently. "It's a pretty thought." Kaylee said after she'd finished thoroughly kissing her girlfriend and found herself wrapped in her arms (which she didn't mind, even if it meant she got wet some). "I kinda hope you're right, too. It sounds kinda nice, living in a star, warm and at home, in love with someone... In love with you forever."

"Some people think that forever can be found in a single moment in time." River replied. "Now, for instance..." She said, kissing Kaylee again and moving even closer to her.

Kaylee's eyes fluttered shut, and somehow she felt River's words start to live a little in her skin in some way. Almost like time just stopped... almost. She couldn't hold on to the feeling of course, but she felt like she'd remember it forever. And maybe that was something of forever after all?

When the kiss ended, she rested her forehead against River's and closed her eyes again, trying to steady her heart from beating so fast, her blood from singing so much in her body. She had no real thoughts in her, but she felt things very intensely right then.

"I'm going to miss this." Kaylee finally spoke. "Just having you to myself like this..." She confessed as her thoughts began to come back to her.

"I'll miss it too... but... I'll always be yours. Everything I am is yours... I promise." River told her with simple honesty and vulnerability.

Kaylee smiled and hugged her. "I love you so much..." Kaylee said, feeling a little overwhelmed with emotion right then. Like she might cry from being so happy, from all the feelings this woman gave her that she didn't even rightly have a name for.

"I love you too." River said in a soft heartfelt voice. "You saved me." Her voice faint when she said that last thing.

Kaylee thought about that a second, then backed up out of the hug, holding both River's hands with both of hers and meeting River's eyes, asking. "I saved you? ...How'd I do that? I thought it was you who was saving me all the time." She said with a little of a smile, a little embarrassed about that actually. She'd wished before that she could do more, in fact. Pull her weight more.

River just smiled, a little enigmatically. "You just did, that's all." Was all she said, letting go of Kaylee's hands and turning to walk away over to where Kaylee had set up the picnic.

Kaylee watched after her curiously a moment. "Wo di meili zhi mi..." She spoke to herself with a very fond smile, then hurried to catch up with her girlfriend. She figured River would probably find a way tell her what she'd meant in her own time, like she usually did... and that, she found, was just fine with her.

Kaylee went over to her and they held hands going over to the picnic blanket. Kaylee let go of River's hand and sat down, watching with fascination as she dried off her hair a little and got dressed again. They'd put together a little of a feast today, with all of the berries and such they could gather from the woods, figuring it wouldn't matter because they were leaving the next day anyway. "It might be a big problem, you know. Finding food along the way." Kaylee spoke as River sat down. "I'm not sure, but I think we're at least a week's walk away from the colony town where Inara's at, maybe more." She estimated, eating a few berries. "We might have to try hunting for birds or rabbits or the like..." She concluded. She didn't like to think about maybe having to do that. She'd never liked eating animals if she could avoid it. Ever since she was small she never had, but, well, sometimes a body just didn't have that many options, did she?

River shook her head. "I'm sure we won't have to murder anyone. I think it'll be fun." She told her positively, a cute, happy smile on her lips that made Kaylee smile too, like she just couldn't help it.

"I think so to." Kaylee said, choosing to believe in what River said. After all, River hadn't been wrong so far, so why would she be now? Not that she wasn't going to make sure they were as prepared as she could make them anyway, of course. That was just sensible.

She started to eat more of her portion of the berries and the leftover stew River had made for them that morning (which still tasted really good, even cold).

* * *

Chinese translations for this chapter:

"Wo di meili zhi mi..." = "My beautiful mystery..."

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	19. A Voice Calling From The Dark (4)

**A Voice Calling From The Dark... Part 4: ~ WHAT HELPS ~**

* * *

Later in the afternoon, Kaylee was diligently at work trying to coax the shuttle's computer into giving her the information she needed. This had involved first some creative repairs to the hardware and now she was wading through programming code, trying to get the shuttle's operating system to recognize the altered configuration she'd been forced to impose upon it's hardware and resolve the needed data to into something recognizable by humans. She had to admit, program language wasn't really her strong suit... Although she weren't bad at it or anything. Especially considering she'd had to figure it all out on her own, no one teaching her anything.

River had been sitting on the bed, halfheartedly playing some kind of, from the looks of it, completely original game with herself with Inara's deck of playing cards. Kaylee'd caught her gazing her way more than once though, and they'd talked off and on while she'd worked, River seeming to sense when she needed the quiet to concentrate.

As things stood though, she was starting to get a mite frustrated with this moody and obstinate computer system she was trying to work with. "You're just bound and determined not to make this easy for me, aren't you?" She spoke ruefully to the shuttle. Admittedly, she wasn't getting along with Inara's shuttle as well as she might have liked. Not like she had with her momma anyway (meaning Serenity).

River came padding over to her then and sat down. "Can I help?" She asked curiously.

"Um, well, maybe. You wouldn't happen to know anything about programming languages by any chance, all that schooling you had?" Kaylee asked hopefully. River was supposed to be a genius and then some, after all. She hadn't thought to ask her, but now she was hoping River actually could help, because at this rate she was afraid she'd be at it all night. Wasn't even sure she'd be able to swing it at all, really. Nothing seemed to be clicking like it usually would for her. A fact she was actually feeling kinda embarrassed about, to be honest. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that her mind kept seeming to drift back to thoughts of River whenever it got the chance? Lately it seemed like that was all she really thought about. Only trouble was, right now, that wasn't very useful at all... well, except at making her smile all blissful and goofy to herself, she supposed.

"I can speak many languages. Should I make an attempt?" She questioned.

"Be my guest." Kaylee agreed. "About time I took a break anyway, I'm thinking. Way things were going, I'm afraid I might have been like to say something unkind before long. And that never helps anything, now does it?"

"If you told someone they were being stupid when they were going to kill themself and they decided not to, that would be helpful... probably anyway." River observed distractedly as she sat down and started scrolling through lines of code.

Kaylee laughed. "Thought you said you hated logic." She replied playfully as she went to get a glass of water.

"Only when it's convenient to. I can be very fickle." River replied. "That might be a character flaw, I suppose." She pondered, still going through the code while she spoke, making the occasional change here or there.

Kaylee smiled. "If it is, I've probably got the same one." She admitted as she poured the water into a glass for herself.

"It is fairly commonplace, I agree." River replied.

Kaylee took a few drinks of water and then came back over by River, sat down behind her, wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist, and rested her chin on River's shoulder, leaning her head against River's a little. "Having any luck?" She asked, enjoying being close to her again.

"Luck and I are old friends by now, I think. She appears to like me, even if a lot of other people don't seem to much." River observed.

"What other people? ...The government? The Alliance?" Kaylee ventured.

"They didn't like who I was, so they tried to make me into someone else... You have to dislike a person a very lot to go to those kind of lengths, don't you think?" River observed, her concentration still mostly focused on her work.

"...Yeah, I guess there would be some kinda truth to that, wouldn't there...?" She replied softly. She'd thought a lot about what had been done to River, as little as she really knew on the subject. What little she did know made her shiver just thinking about it sometimes. Still, she wished she could somehow take all that hurt away for her. Do something that really helped this woman she'd come to fall so in love with... River'd said before that she'd saved her, but the truth was, she'd done precious little as far as she could see. She couldn't even manage to properly fix the shuttle, could she? No, her girlfriend was doing that too. It didn't seem fair on River, her being so useless sometimes like she seemed to be. She'd never thought of herself like that before, because she'd _always_ been useful growing up on her family's fam on Isis, and, when she'd joined the Serenity, she'd always been the one to keep her crew in the sky too. She tried to push those thoughts away though. "You're definitely my favorite person in all creation though, if it helps." She told River with all sincerely.

"...It's impossible to calculate how much that helps." River answered very softly. "...I think I've solved it. But you need to move a wire somewhere... I'm not sure which one."

Kaylee moved out from behind River, who moved back a little so she could get in and see what she'd done. Kaylee scanned the code for a few long minutes, River hugging her silently from behind like Kaylee had been doing just before... which did seem to help her focus better, actually. "Oh! I see it!" Kaylee twisted around and kissed River briefly. "You're _brilliant_, you know that?" She praised happily, getting up to go retrieve the tool she'd need then hurrying back to open the cover plate again and make the modification River's code rewrites needed. It only took but a minute, and, sure enough, once she had, she reinitialized it and the operating system resolved itself like it was supposed to.

A few commands, and there it was: Rough flight path information, and the topography photos Serenity had taken before breaking atmo and transferred automatically to the shuttle's memory core. A few more quick commands, and they had a course plotted to Inara. "Shiny." Kaylee said happily as she gazed at the results... the res wasn't as good as some fancier spaceships might give you, but it was _more_ than good enough in Kaylee's opinion. "We're on our way." She turned and hugged River happily. "You're so very awesome." She told her.

River was quiet though, and when Kaylee sat back, River just had a shy sort of confused smile on her face. But she looked doubtful too.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Kaylee asked, touching River's cheek with concern.

River shook her head just a little and closed her eyes a moment, then opened them and looked back up into Kaylee's eyes. "It's too fast sometimes. I feel like I might float away." She confessed, moving forward and kissing Kaylee with something almost like reverence.

Kaylee felt sort of lightheaded then too, but in a very nice way... She felt herself relax automatically and kiss River back. She loved this so much, kissing River. It never seemed like she could get enough...

The kissing ended after a while though, and River pulled away just a little with a soft, sweet smile. "You're so very awesome." She spoke, still a little shyly, but her eyes were clear and really _here_ now. Kaylee could tell she was feeling a lot better.

"That's what I said." Kaylee replied.

"Echo." River replied. "Can we take off our clothes, go to bed, and have more orgasms together now?" She asked hopefully.

Kaylee grinned. "You're such a randy girlfriend sometimes. Lucky me..." She replied, taking River's hand in hers and getting up, River getting up with her.

She led River back over to the bed and sat down with her, the both of them starting to remove the other's clothing without saying a word. Pretty soon, River had just taken off Kaylee's underwear and she was laying under her looking up into River's eyes. They kissed and she rolled River over to look down at her, her heart beating fast. "It's our last day with a bed for a while, you know?" She reminded her.

"We should make the most of it, then..." River replied, her eyes eager and wanting.

Kaylee kissed her and that was pretty much it, they were lost in each other all over again...

* * *

It was morning now, and River and Kaylee were just finishing up getting packed for the long journey ahead. They had no way of taking the map they'd gotten from the shuttle with them, so they both tried to commit it to memory. Kaylee was sure River probably had it down better than she did, but that was to be expected, she supposed, and was in fact a very good thing.

They'd talked to Inara a little in the morning, and Kaylee, as requested, had happily given up all the details about her new romance to Inara, but now Kaylee thought she should call in one last time before they left. She said as much to River and her girlfriend agreeably joined her over on the couch by the window to make the call.

"Inara, you there? It's us." Kaylee commed out.

_"Kaylee! _Hi, yes, I'm here._"_ Inara's voice came back just a few moments later.

"Well, just thought I'd let you know, we're all packed up and ready to head out over here. Like I said, assuming nothing holds us up too bad, we should be out your way in eight or ten days probably. Twelve at the most, I'd hope." Kaylee replied. "A lot depends on the terrain."

"That's wonderful, Kaylee. Again, I want to thank you both, so much. Before I heard your voice two nights ago, I was starting to think... well, I'm just... I'm very grateful..." Inara told them, emotion clearly evident in her voice.

"We're grateful too." River offered. "That you're alive. It's like... family..."

"Oh, River... No, I'm sure Simon's alright. You just, you have to believe that River. That's all. Sometimes you just have to believe." Inara told her.

"He's very far away." River replied. "There are a lot of people. I think he's gotten himself lost. I just worry sometimes, that's all. I'm his sister, so I basically have no other choice..." She finished softly.

"We're all lost sometimes." Inara said back in understanding.

Kaylee, for her part, wasn't sure she was quite so hopeful, but she didn't want to say so. Putting negative ideas out into the universe had never seemed a helpful notion to her. "Well, we better be heading out. Sooner we leave, sooner we get there." She offered.

"I'll be here. Just, be careful you two. Take care of each other." Inara cautioned.

"We will, don't you worry." Kaylee replied, and disconnected the comm channel, turning to meet River's eyes.

River smiled, and kissed her briefly, then got up and offered Kaylee her hand. "Gai zouliao?" She asked.

"Gai zouliao." Kaylee replied, caressing River's cheek and hair a little, then taking her hand and walking with her back to where they had their gear piled up outside the shuttle.

They'd lock up the shuttle and walk off into the woods.

"_Go forward, never looking back, for the devils of your past may chase you if you ever dare meet their eyes._" River said softly, looking at the shuttle.

"Who said that?" Kaylee asked.

River thought. "I can't seem to recall..." She admitted, fastening her pack around her waist and reaching out to take Kaylee's hand so they could begin their walk. "In any case, it might not even be true." She told her.

Kaylee thought about that a moment, and decided it was probably good advice, anyway.

* * *

Chinese translations:

"Gai zouliao?" = "Time to go?"

"Gai zouliao." = "Time to go."

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	20. Company For The Journey (1)

**Company For The Journey... Part 1: ~ VIVID MEMORY ~**

* * *

Kaylee heard her footfalls on the wet ground and imagined they were keeping good time with her own heartbeat as she and River ran, hand in hand, through the woods in the pouring rain and blustery winds. Thunder sounded in the distance, with lightning flashing in the sky only a second after, visible even through the tree cover.

Opal colony supposedly had its own climate control setup. That wasn't typical for a colony world of course, cause they cost so darn much. But the governor and his cronies who'd founded this place were the type that had the money to spend on it. Course, trouble was, to keep working right, one of those things needed monitoring, upkeep, that sort of thing. And the Reavers woulda done away with whomsoever it had been who woulda been doing that, now wouldn't they've? They might even a set the control center on fire, or blown apart some of the satellites on their ways towards planetfall for all she knowed. All of which meant that the relatively idyllic weather they'd been enjoying previous to now wasn't ever likely to have lasted forever onwards. Obviously, Kaylee had hoped that it woulda held out a good deal longer than this... Until they'd at least made it to the colony town woulda been highly agreeable for instance, but well, apparently that simply wasn't to be, now was it?

There was no sense grousing about it now though, was there? She'd enough to worry about at the moment making sure she kept pace with River, who was the one leading them through the trees at a fast pace, her course steady... Though Kaylee didn't have a _clue_ where they were heading exactly.

Kaylee'd at first suggested they find a likely looking clear spot and set up their tent. River had shook her head and pointed up saying over the wind and rain that it wasn't safe and that rabbits like them needed to run, long and far, and she'd taken her hand and they'd run. Kaylee had considered pulling River to a halt and asking her why they needed to run, or why they were apparently rabbits now for that matter, but she'd thought that would probably be wasted effort, because, really, by this point she trusted River more than enough to just go on faith in the matter. If River thought it wasn't safe to stay where they were, then Kaylee wasn't about to ask stay around long enough to find out why. That was only sensible.

Her legs and lungs started to burn after she wasn't sure how long. She was getting used to the rain stinging her eyes, and she didn't feel so cold anymore from all the running she was doing. Her thoughts were gone blank, her eyes just locked on the back of River's head as she followed, both their footfalls in steady rhythm making a drumbeat together with the rain. The lightning seemed to be almost chasing them, Kaylee imagined... and was it more imagination, or was she smelling smoke faint on the air?

Sometime later, they broke out into a clearing at the foot of some rocky hills. Over in one direction, Kaylee could just see a range of mountains off in the distance. Her and River's eyes met then, and Kaylee was shook inside to see fear reflected back plain as day in her girlfriend's eyes. River tried to smile a little for her then, and Kaylee smiled back, feeling shaky too as she felt herself start to shiver a little from the cold and the damp, her legs start to ache even more now that they'd stopped running. River looked away then, and started leading them over towards the rocky hills, going at a slower, but still hurried, pace.

Getting up on into the rocks in a short while, they began climbing up as they went. Kaylee got to feeling a little numb inside after a while of it, like her actions weren't really her own anymore. They really were, she knew. She was telling her legs to keep going, her arms to pull her up, her hands to close on rock, and her eyes to always keep track of River because she was scared in a very deep way of what would happen if they got separated... but, in all of that, River was the only part of it that truly seemed real to her anymore.

A ways up the hills, River helped pull her up onto a ledge. It took all of Kaylee's effort to manage it, and, when she was up and over, sitting on the cold and wet rock, her and River's eyes met a for a moment that seemed sort of timeless somehow, and then the world just slipped away from her and everything went black.

* * *

When she woke next, the vivid memory of her experiences running through the rainstorm and climbing up into the hills with River came to her right away and her eyes flew open almost in surprise that it had actually happened. She sat up and immediately regretted it. Her whole body felt like it was all a fire with aches. _"Tiantang he wo de zuxian baoyou he baohu wo..."_ She spoke softly to herself, groaning and looking absently down at her lap to see thin travel blankets pooled there.

"Tiankong shi women de jiayuan, ni de linghun cong yaoyuan de kuangfeng qianwang zhao wo. Na ni gen wo yiran shi wo zuida de kuaile, er wo zuida de fuqi..." She heard the soft words spoken, warming her heart and surprising the heck out of her with the sheer romance of them. Like a love poem...

She looked up then and met River's eyes, felt River's hand caress her cheek, and Kaylee couldn't help but smile in sheer recognition of that feeling she was getting more and more lately whenever she just glanced River's way... A feeling of just rightness and home and deep belonging. She swallowed, and tried to speak, though her emotions weren't making it so easy. "Hey you... Fancy meeting you here." She said, bringing her hand up to touch River's hand on her face.

"Not so fancy." River replied, sounding a little bit shy. "Just a tent with the roof off, inside a cave in a rocky hill. It's positively rustic. I did build a fire for us though?" She offered hopefully, as if that might start to make up for everything yesterday. Her eyes betrayed her though. Something definitely wasn't right.

"Long as you're here, it's more than fancy enough, far as I go." Kaylee offered in return, sighing and closing her eyes a moment, remembering like... "You carried me here, didn't you?" She asked as she opened her eyes and met River's gaze again, her concern mounting all the more when she did.

River just smiled a little. "We're safe now." Was all she said back.

"But safe from what? You never did say, you know." Kaylee questioned, curious. Now that they were apparently out of danger, she did want to know what they'd been running from in such a hurry.

"Holocaust." River replied softly, looking away and dropping her hand from Kaylee's face. "Many are screaming and burning away... Dying in fire, even as we receive it's warmth." She explained, her voice a deep tired and hollow sounding.

Kaylee sat up straighter and touched River's face as River had touched hers. "A forest fire, you mean?" She guessed softly. "From... From the lightning?" She asked. She could smell it on the air, she realized. She had smelled that scent once before, so she knew it for what it was.

River looked up and met her eyes then. "The screams are so very loud." She told her softly, tears falling down her cheeks. She looked just so tired, so drained. "I can't help them, not at all, only you and Lola... I wish... I wish it was over... I wish I could sleep."

"Lola?" Kaylee couldn't help but ask.

"She's over there." River sniffled and tilted her head to the side a bit, indicating where Kaylee should look. "Small and furry, just a young girl like I was once..."

Kaylee looked and saw a rabbit cradled in a towel by the fire. It was probably the most completely adorable thing she'd ever seen in her entire life. She looked back over at River and her heart broke for her more than a little.

Kaylee moved forward then and took River up in her arms in a crushing hug, just clinging to her really, mindless of her own body's aches. _"I'm here."_ She told her girlfriend softly. "Just... Just stay with me. I'm here for you... I always will be..." She spoke it like a promise, feeling somehow almost as if she might understand, even feel a little, what River must be going through. She didn't know how, would probably never know the _how_ of River Tam, but she did believe in her anyway, whatever she said. If River said she felt, heard, the trees and animals and such out there as they burned to death, Kaylee knew it for the truth. And she knew that just knowing, that was all that mattered. The hows and whyfors mattered not at all.

River started to cry in earnest then, to weep really, and to cling to her.

Kaylee just held her and cooed soft words of comfort for her, feeling tears start to fall from her own eyes at how River was suffering. She imagined then, what she guessed must have happened. That River must have known from the start that there was going to be a fire once the rain died down. That that must have been why they'd run. And then, in the hills, when Kaylee had passed out finally, River must have carried her here, probably left their things and gone back for them later. Probably found Lola, and brought her back too. She would have started the fire then, dried Kaylee off, changed her into her dry second set of clothes, got her under the blankets, and set up camp for them, and all while... All while she'd have been hearing death screams in her head somehow... She'd gotten through it anyway though, she'd held it all back... for her. Until now, at least... until River saw that she was awake and safe...

In that moment... Kaylee promised herself, swore it as solemn as could be, that she'd be there for River from now on... no matter what came. She promised herself that, no matter what she had to do, she'd do it.

Kaylee held the woman she loved in her arms like she was until River finally started to calm down some, and then she managed to get River into the tent bedding with her. Luckily, River only had on a pair of shorts and a shirt anyway. They curled up under the covers together, River snuggling up close in her arms and, at length, drifting off into sleep. Kaylee herself felt tired enough that she was sure she could go to sleep again too if she wanted.

She sat up and looked around. The fire's warmth was nice, but if she rolled the tent's roof up over them, it would keep them warmer than the fire would. No, the fire River had started had more been for drying their clothes and things than for keeping them warm. River had set it up so the clothes probably wouldn't catch fire, but she'd had to put them close enough to get dry of course, so the danger was there... In any case, if you had the choice, it really wasn't a good idea to go to sleep with a fire still burning no matter _what_ the circumstances. You never really knew what could happen. She could dowse it of course. It would delay their journey some because they'd need to set the fire again later to dry the clothes the rest of the way, but that hardly mattered much now. What mattered to her was that she'd have to get up out of the tent bed and leave River to do it, even if it was just for a little bit of time, and that was something she just wasn't willing to do right now.

Kaylee laid back on her back, gathering River to her again. She'd just have to stay awake for now, she decided. There was nothing else for it.

For the first little while, her thoughts were calm. River's steady heartbeat, her soft breathing, and the familiar warmth of her body a comfort to her. After a while though, her thoughts grew more stormy. Thoughts of River, River's life, her own life, Inara under the mountain, Serenity... the Captain, Zoe, Wash, Simon, Jayne, Shepard Book... Even if maybe the others might not, the Captain or Zoe, either one woulda come back for her if they could, she was dead sure of it. And there was just no way Simon wouldn't have come back for River by now if he could either. Something had definitely gone sideways up there... and if that was true... If that was true, and with the climate control down like it was...

Well, it might be alright. The weather might even out reasonably on its own before long... It probably would in fact. The terraformers that'd made this place human habitable hadn't made it to be dependent on climate control, after all. The first two sets of colonists on Opal hadn't had it (never mind that they were mostly all dead now). Climate control was just... a luxury feature, really. Keep it from getting too cold, too damp. Keep things sunny and warm with only enough temperate rain to keep the crops nice an happy and the wells full year-round.

Trouble might be though... if the Reavers really _had_ knocked a satellite or two out of the sky on the way down, and/or if they really _had_ burned down the control center... Well, she wasn't any expert, never having even seen one of those setups in person before, but she imagined that a partially functioning or partially _malfunctioning_ climate control system could potentially wreak a lot of damage before it gave up the ghost and died completely... And how long would that take? Days? Months...? Years...? She had no fit way a knowing, did she? Not unless she could find the control center, or some kind of console with ties to it, that she could run a diagnostic from. Once they got to the city, she realized, she'd have to make it a point to follow up on that. Would be way too big a risk not to, circumstances allowing of course. If worse came to worse: no control interface to be found and the weather getting too dangerous to be survivable in... If that happened, then, she considered, they might conceivably have no other better choices than to scrounge for parts to fix Inara's shuttle and try an fly up into orbit to disable a satellite or two... Here's hoping it wouldn't come to _that_...

Her thoughts having carried her away for a time, it was River stirring just a little in her sleep that brought Kaylee's thoughts back to the present moment again. Kaylee ran her fingers through River's hair, the simple action doing a lot to calm her troubled thoughts again. It was amazing really, just how much it affected her now, just touching River's hair, just... everything. Everything about the woman in her arms, how much she affected her now.

It was actually hard for her to even think about sometimes.

She closed her eyes then, and glanced over at the fire. It had died down to embers now, and she was feeling tired too, like she wasn't sure she'd be able to keep herself awake much longer, even trying as much as she was. Well, River was sleeping peacefully now, so she could probably get away with it for a moment or two. It any case, it was a small chance that anything bad would happen, but she sighed and decided to get up and smother the embers with dirt just to make completely sure they didn't catch the clothes to fire while they slept.

She did that, took just a second to look in on Lola too, and when she turned around to go back to the tent bed, River was sitting up, staring blankly at her, a bewildered look on her face.

Kaylee rushed back over to her and got down on the bedding with her, caressing her face and meeting her eyes. Neither of them said anything, but River kissed her then, just lightly enough that Kaylee absently thought she might be dreaming this.

They settled back down under the covers then and Kaylee pulled the tent roof closed over them, as it was starting to get pretty cold in this little cave of theirs without the fire. Kaylee looked into River's eyes and kissed her back once just as softly before they both took off the clothes they had on, closed their eyes, and went off to sleep again, holding each other as close as they ever had or likely ever could.

* * *

Chinese translations:

_"Tiantang he wo de zuxian baoyou he baohu wo..."_ = _"Heavens and my ancestors bless and preserve me..."_

"Tiankong shi women de jiayuan, ni de linghun cong yaoyuan de kuangfeng qianwang zhao wo. Na ni gen wo yiran shi wo zuida de kuaile, er wo zuida de fuqi..." = "The heavens are our homeland, and you a soul that traveled on the winds from far away to find me. That you are with me still is my greatest joy, and my greatest blessing..."

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	21. Company For The Journey (2)

**Company For The Journey... Part 2: ~ LEAVE ME BREATHLESS ~**

* * *

In the morning, Kaylee woke up first and was content to just stay in bed in their tent until her girlfriend woke up too. When River did, her eyes were dull and sleepy and she yawned and cuddled up to her and closed her eyes again. Kaylee smiled a little to herself at that and closed her eyes too, happy to let River take her time waking up. After last night, goodness and the daylight both knew she certainly deserved it.

She wasn't really sure at all how much longer it was after that that River stirred again and sat up, blinking. "Morning's here..." She spoke softly, looking down at her hands as if she didn't quite recognize them and was curious what they were. They were scraped and dirty looking, just like Kaylee knew her own where from all that climbing they'd done on the rocks.

Kaylee sat up too and pulled River back down onto the bedding with her, getting on top of her some and looking down into her eyes, caressing her face and running a hand through her hair. River looked up into her eyes with something like awe or wonder there, and she smiled just a little, reaching up and touching Kaylee's face in return. "Your eyes are magic..." River spoke, sounding kinda dreamy, like she hadn't really woken up all the way. River moved up then and kissed her and somehow Kaylee found herself on her back and under her girlfriend before she'd realized it was happening, and River was kissing her more.. Not in any hurry at all, but it felt so intensely intimate Kaylee could hardly believe how it made her feel. She felt so good and warm inside, and alive, and like birds with fluttering wings were living in her chest.

Kaylee was caught spellbound by it, and she let herself get completely caught up in just kissing with River. She felt like she could do this forever, even if that did sound silly and over-the-top romantic in her head, even now in the moment. She didn't really care that it was going to stop at some point though... Except, when, who knew how long a time later came and it did, and River was looking intently down into her eyes with a dazed sort of look in her eyes, she did wish that it had kept going like that between them... at least a little while longer.

"How, um... So, how are you feeling then?" Kaylee asked her softly.

River sat back, straddling Kaylee's hips and looked at the tent around them and then down at her. Her head was touching the top, it was so close inside this little tent they shared (not that Kaylee was minding that at all, much the opposite actually). "My head feels fuzzy..." River admitted, their eyes catching and locking in a meaningful but illusory sort of way. River just looked into her eyes for a while then without blinking, until Kaylee blinked and then River laughed a little nervously and lay down beside her. "You be on top now?" She asked. "I liked the kissing part better."

Kaylee smiled just a little to herself and, pointedly ignoring all her aches (which were feeling much improved, even if they still bothered her some), rolled them over so she came over top of River and agreeably started kissing her again. River reciprocated automatically and Kaylee let herself move in closer, as close as she could, and, as she did, she felt River noticeably relax in her arms. Felt the difference in the way she kissed. Like maybe she was finding her way back to really wakefulness again... or at least starting to. Kaylee didn't blame her girlfriend for being tired and sleepy, she still was too. After all, they'd both ran all-out through the pouring rain and then went climbing through the hills on wet and slippery rocks until she'd fainted and River had had to carry her who knew how much farther... She was slightly amazed River was doing as well as she was by this point. It was kind of awe-inspiring how resilient she was, really.

As they kissed, the passion between them increased. Hands gliding over soft skin, their bodies moving together in a way that just felt magnetic and nearly out of either of them's control.

River's hand cupping one of her breasts and squeezing, the other hand on her ribs, the small of her back, then cupping her butt. Kaylee's hand, her fingers, inside of her lover, making her tremble and gasp in desire and pleasure, guiding her over the edge of passion... and then River was on top again and Kaylee was soon just completely lost...

The whole experience had a certain dreamlike, ethereal quality to it, and when it was over and she came back to herself and met River's eyes, she found something disturbingly distant there. River looked almost... absent. "River...?" She spoke, looking into her eyes.

"...Everything will be alright..." River replied in a voice that was quiet as a whisper, but unmistakably not a whisper.

River lay down next to her then and cuddled up with her and Kaylee couldn't quite bring herself to say anything else somehow either. She just held River to her like that for as long as River wanted.

After a while, River did get up though, and fetched her clothing from the zip-pouch that served as their pillow. Kaylee went to retrieve her own set of clothing that was strewn about on top and beneath the covers (where it had been carelessly left the night before because she hadn't wanted to bother stowing it away in the second zip-pouch, her pants and over shirt having provided enough of a pillow to get by on.

When they were dressed, River opened the tent roof and got up to standing, going over to check on the other clothes. "Not dry all the way..." She observed absently, going to start another fire.

Kaylee watched her from sitting on their tent bedding, her legs brought up, arms crossed over her knees, head resting on her crossed arms. It just went that way. River brought her food from their packs and they ate, not saying very much.

River just seemed... lost somehow.

She'd been there, right with her, when they'd made love before, Kaylee was sure of it, but... it wasn't enough, was it?

Finally, Kaylee couldn't stand it anymore and she brought River back to the tent bedding and sat her down, looking into her eyes. River looked more confused than anything, but was smiling, just a little in a shy sort of way.

"Stop it, alright?" Kaylee told her softly, moving in to kiss her. "Just stop." She told her again, looking into her eyes and pleading with her in every way she knew, and every way she could only guess at. "Come back to me? Please come back to me?" She pleaded with her unreservedly.

Slow but steady, Kaylee could see understanding start to wash over River's features. She could see the light starting to come back into her eyes. And then River smiled, really smiled, and hugged her. She moved back after a little and stared into her eyes, and Kaylee smiled, but she was speechless, and River pushed her over onto her back and held her down with a playful sort of look in her eyes. "And that's why you don't make sense to me sometimes..." River told her in a voice so downright sexy that it made Kaylee about ready to jump her all over again already.

"What do you mean?" Kaylee asked, her heart beating faster in her chest, her skin heating.

"How you didn't know... When I told you that you saved me... You didn't know what I meant..." She explained. "It doesn't make sense... How could you not know that?" River asked, a genuine sort of awe in her voice. "The answer's so easy..." She told her, kissing her. Kissed her, and kissed her again. "When I'm with you..." She told her softly, kissing her neck. "I feel like me again." She confessed to her. "And each time..." She stopped kissing her and went up to look into Kaylee's eyes again. "And each time you look at me, each time you _see_ me, I think... See? Right now? You're saving me right now, Kaylee... It's a marvel, truly it is... My favorite one ever..."

And River was kissing her again before Kaylee could say anything at all in reply. Inside though, it felt like her heart was blooming like a flower at River's words..._ Is that what I'm doing?_ Kaylee asked herself as they both tossed around some, trying to get their clothes off enough to do again what they were _definitely_ going to do again. She felt so much heat and passion well up in her, and River was almost ravenous about it. Not dreamy or ethereal at all anymore. She was right there with her now. So intense... The force of her eyes when they met hers was like live current. Every touch just got _better_... It wasn't long before any thoughts she had were just gone and all she could do was go at River as intensely and wildly as River was going at her... It was all she could do to keep enough air in her lungs that she didn't pass out, really.

* * *

Kaylee didn't know how much time had passed when their passion had finally ran its course, but River was looking down into her eyes, holding her down by her wrists, they were both sweating, and Kaylee's heart was beating so loud in her chest.

"Marry me?" Kaylee asked her softly.

"I... What'd you just say?" River asked in a small, breathless sounding voice.

"I um, well I asked you to marry me...? It was a proposal." Kaylee told her earnestly, having meant every word. She'd never be able to describe to anyone what she was feeling right then, but hells and holly branches was she ever feeling it.

"...Did you mean it?" River asked, looking both curious and thunderstruck at the same time.

"Oh, _heck_ yeah." Kaylee told her, smiling that kind of smile that you couldn't stop even if you had the mind to. She was sure about this. Surer than she'd ever been about much of anything, really. So, of course she'd asked... and oh did she ever mean it, all the way.

River just looked like her brain wasn't working for a few seconds. "...We don't have anyone to marry us. Maybe Lola could, do you think?"

Kaylee laughed. "Is that a yes then?" She asked a little playfully.

"Yes." River smiled softly to her. "_Yes_ is an inevitable fact in this situation..." She told her in a very intimate sort of way, moving down to kiss her.

They just sort of lay there, making out for a good long while until River stopped and sat up, she looked over in the direction Lola was. "You're my fiancé now, but... the rabbit who's going to marry us is hungry... and probably also needs a hug?" River spoke, looking down to Kaylee. She was a little playful, but there was very strong emotion in her eyes too. "She... lost her family today."

Kaylee sat up so River was straddling her lap and looked into her eyes. "I'll get breakfast for her. You can take care of the hug?" She offered, hopeful it would cheer her _fiancé_ (and what a great word _that_ was to use) up.

"Agreeable." River smiled shyly.

Kaylee kissed her again and the two of them got up, got dressed again, and Kaylee went to fetch a rabbit-sized portion of food while River went to pick up Lola and cuddle her in the promised hug. Kaylee stopped a moment and looked at that, bemused greatly. She shook her head and smiled, her mind drifting to a very funny daydream about their wedding with Lola up on a rock with a flower necklace... that she was snacking on, of course. It's what rabbits did, yaknow? A markedly darker thought occurred to her and she sighed, looking down at what presently consisted of their food supply. It wasn't much, really. Not at all... an if the forest was burnt, where would they get more?

Feeling the weight of that thought, she got up and brought Lola her breakfast, watching happily with River as their new furry friend ate what they offered her. As River cooed over Lola a little more, Kaylee got to standing and padded her way over on stockinged feet towards the mouth of the cave. River watched her on her way out, but didn't say anything. Probably because there wasn't much to say, really. They both had to know the problem well enough.

The scent of it caught her stronger as she got closer to outside. Burnt things. Lots of them.

She came out of the cave they'd been in and saw sky, then walked up to the edge of the rocks and just stared. "Siwang he hei'an de dongxi du zouliao wo de daolu, bing zai qi shenhou liu xia huangliang..." She spoke under her breath to herself, even as she heard the very faint sound of River walking up behind her.

All to the fore and the right was all mostly burnt away, about as far as you could see, but... to the left, a wide river had made a firebreak. She let out a relieved breath. That was the way they were going, the direction Inara was. "We ain't gonna starve, River. That's good, huh?"

"It is good..." River agreed with her softly. "I'm very grateful."

Kaylee turned to her and saw River still with Lola in her arms. "Oh, River." Kaylee spoke, touching her face and hair and gazing at her as River met her eyes.

River smiled just a little. "Even in bleakest darkness, there's always light waiting for us out there. We just have to remember to look." She told her.

Kaylee smiled. "For me...? That's you. You are the kindest soul... and you are also even cuter than rabbits sometimes, River Tam. My light you are... And, I swear... I'll always try my best to be that for you also."

River sighed, smiled shyly, blushing just a little. "You're so good at that..." She told her.

"At what?" Kaylee blinked.

River turned away. "At getting me all flustered and blissful inside? At making me want sex with you so very often?" She spoke, pausing a moment as she walked away, before heading on back into the cave.

Kaylee swallowed once and smiled, all too pleased with herself somehow. "She does know just what to say to me sometimes, don't she?" She mused to herself. She took one last look out over the landscape then turned and trailed after River, some very pleasant sex thoughts running through her head.

_Sex_, she mused cheerfully. She really did like having sex with River a whole lot...

* * *

Chinese translations:

"Siwang he hei'an de dongxi du zouliao wo de daolu, bing zai qi shenhou liu xia huangliang..." = "Death and dark things have walked my path and left bleakness in their wake..."

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	22. Company For The Journey (3)

**Company For The Journey... Part 3: ~ CLEVERNESS ~**

* * *

A short while later, they were packing up to go. River was just finishing with the tent when Kaylee decided on impulse to go over and sit next to her. There hadn't been any more sex after they'd come back in, notwithstanding of what River'd said. They'd already done that a lot already this morning, and, practically speaking, with the long walk they had ahead of them, they didn't have near enough food and water to justify burning more energy and hydration, no matter how much Kaylee might like to. Still, she was feeling in a very romantic mood and wanted something more to make her forget their troubles and hold her over until later, so, when River turned to meet her eyes, Kaylee slowly moved in to kiss her. Her eyes fluttered shut as River kissed her back, River dropping what she'd been doing in the process.

Her heart was beating faster in her chest as they kept making out for exactly how long she couldn't rightly guess at much. It was heavenly though, through and through. Kissing with River always was. Doing that other thing surely was too. All things bright and shiny was it ever great to have someone she could do that with again... and someone who was so, so, so very good at it too... Almost enough to make a woman grateful to be stranded on a Reaver blighted colony world with a fritzed out weather management system. Would be enough too, she thought, if it she weren't so worried about Inara and the others were on Serenity now... That they hadn't come back for them by now, it was worrying her more all the time. River didn't talk about it much, but Kaylee knew she felt it too, specially for her brother. Wasn't nothing either of them could do about it though. Wasn't much to say about it hadn't already been said either... All talking on it more would do was bring down their spirits, and that didn't do anyone any good.

The kissing broke at long last and River was smiling to her, looking... fairly blissful. Kaylee had to admit, despite all their troubles, she was kind of really feeling that way too. It was amazing how being in love could do that to a person like that... And Kaylee knew she was definitely in love. In love in a way more deep and wide feeling than she'd ever felt... Vast as the sky it felt...

"We need to get going, don't we?" Kaylee asked, almost hoping River could come up with a reason not to.

River nodded positively. "So we can have sex like rabbits again, later in the day."

"We're rabbits again now?" Kaylee asked with a bemused smile.

River nodded. "Lola adopted us into her family. By rabbit customs, it's fully official."

Kaylee laughed. "I should be able to tell if you're joking with me or not by now, shouldn't I?"

"It would be less fun for me if you could." River replied.

Kaylee pounced on her and kissed her again, long and thorough. River had such a smile on her by the time she was done. _"Stars..."_ River spoke softly.

"What about um?" Kaylee asked.

"You just make them dance in my head sometimes. I like that about us."

"I like that about us too." Kaylee told her back softly, kissing her just sweetly once more for good measure.

"...I like everything about us, all the time..." River spoke after the kiss.

Kaylee swallowed. "You're pretty darn good at it too, you know?"

River smiled. "I had strongly suspected it, yes." River replied, sounding, perhaps, just slightly smug about it (but in a playful and not entirely seriously meant sort of way).

Kaylee sighed, privately admitting that River really did have cause to be a lot more smug on the subject than she was being. "Time to go for a hike?" She asked, firmly telling herself not to kiss River again, even though she really, truly wanted to.

River kept smiling. "We can hold hands again?" She asked.

"What about Lola? Don't you have to use both hands to hold her right?" Kaylee asked.

"I'm going to make a bed for her in my backpack." River told her. "When traveling across treacherous terrain, its best to have your hands free for balance."

"Clever you then." Kaylee replied.

"More than I thought, actually." River mused.

"How's that?" Kaylee asked.

"Something I did made you want to ask me for a marriage. I've tried to think what it was, but answers are elusive..."

Kaylee smiled. "...And that's why you don't make sense to me sometimes."

River looked surprised again. "What do you mean?" She asked, a playful, happy smile forming on her lips.

"Well, it's just, the answer's _so_ easy..." Kaylee told her, moving down to kiss her again.

When the kiss parted, River started laughing.

Kaylee smiled and burred her head in River's shoulder, laughing a little too.

Kaylee raised her head up and kissed River again. It was just so easy to kiss her, so easy not to stop. She did stop though and sighed again. "We need to stop doing that at some point."

"We do..." River replied.

Kaylee closed her eyes, sighed for a third time, and sat back, getting off her girlfriend/fiancé and offering her a hand up.

River laughed just a little again.

Kaylee looked over to her and smiled. It was really nice hearing her laugh again. Kaylee blushed just a little, thinking about how lovesick she really was for this woman.

She made herself focus on getting ready for departure then. They really didn't have very much left to do for that. Soon, Kaylee was putting Lola in River's pack and watching the rabbit curl up in a cute little ball.

"It's really kinda amazing how tame she is for us." Kaylee mused.

"We're her family now." River replied. "Family trusts family. That's the it way works... by some definitions at least..."

Kaylee moved in close and hugged her. "You are my family."

"I know..." River replied, soft and simple. "We're going to be married soon, right?"

"Come what may." Kaylee spoke it like a promise.

The hug parted and River stepped back and smiled to her, offering her hand. "Come what may." She agreed, like she really believed in it too.

Kaylee smiled back and took the offered hand, letting River lead her out into the day.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	23. Company For The Journey (4)

**Company For The Journey... Part 4: ~ ANNABELLE THE TROLL ~**

* * *

Having climbed back down from the rocky hills into what used to be a forest. A graveyard, she supposed it really was now... at least until life came back to this place somewheres down the line. Was remarkable to her how she'd think that though. It never would have occurred to her before, probably. She'd been raised on a farming colony, sure, but she'd never really... taken to it much, she supposed. She'd done what was asked of her, done it well, but her head had always been elsewhere: family, friends, chasing boys, and building and fixing things mostly. That an dreaming of all the adventures she wanted to have one day. She'd never thought much about nature, animals and trees and things... She never woulda seen what was around them now as... As a holocaust or a massacre, like River did. But... she'd seen how it had affected the woman she loved, so it was real for her now also. And it was a sad thing too, walking where they were, with carrying Lola with them. Sad, but hopeful too. A light in the darkness, she supposed, like River'd said...

The scent of burnt things was everywhere, but there was also the scent coming off the river ahead carried on the wind, and the sight of green and growing things on the other side. Food, water, and hope. That much closer to getting to where Inara was. To saving her. And at least that would be one more of those she cared for safe and accounted for, wouldn't it?

About what must be close to half ways through to the river, they came to the charred trunk of a fallen tree that hadn't burned through much. The rain had come back sometime during the night for a time, meaning the damage was a bit less than as total as it might a been otherwise. There were still bits of glowing ember here and there though, some on the tree trunk too. No easy way round it, so over they were going. River let go of her hand, took a few very fast steps towards it, and just sort of hopped up onto the log, easy as you please. She stood, turned around, then knelt and offered Kaylee and hand up. Kaylee appreciatively accepted and fought her way up.

It had been a long walk on too little to eat or drink and her energy was flagging. River's didn't much seem to be yet though. "How do you do that?" She asked, a little breathless as she stood up on top of the tree with River. "Have so much _go_ in you?"

River smiled to her and had a thoughtful, curious look in her eyes. "Just do, I guess." She told her, touching Kaylee's hair and then she caressed her breast and pressed her thumb on her nipple, making Kaylee gasp a little and blush some. "Also, I have very excellent motivation." She told her, moving in and brushing her lips in a soft, feathery kiss. "When I think about you, nothing else seems so bad as it might seem otherwise." She told her softly.

Kaylee blinked, swallowed, and tried to get her head to work again. She wanted to kiss River back about then, hard. Just... she didn't want to lose her balance and fall, so she squashed the urge. She did smile though. "I think I feel a second wind coming on..." She told her softly.

River giggled just a little. "I always like to be helpful." She told her, resting her hands on Kaylee's hips and gazing into her eyes, looking all love-struck and bemused and all of beautiful too.

"That you surely are." Kaylee found herself telling her. "That an then some." She said softly, feeling all wrapped up in River all over again.

River smiled shyly and blushed just a little. She moved forward then and held herself to Kaylee.

Kaylee was a little surprised, but went with it easy enough, encircling River in her arms and holding her close.

They stayed like that for long moments before River pulled back and smiled bravely to Kaylee. Bravely... but something else too. "Hey... Talk to me?" Kaylee asked, touching River's hair and face, resting her other hand on River's hip, sliding it round back a little to pull her just a bit closer. "Is there something the matter?" She asked gently.

"...There could be." River told her in a quiet voice.

"...Well, so what is it then?" Kaylee asked. Not feeling worried... exactly.

"...It's just fear I think, that's all." River told her, looking down and moving closer to her again.

"Fear a what?" Kaylee asked.

"What all the wealthy fear: that what I have could be taken away somehow. It's happened before, you know. It could again." River told her in a gentle, thoughtful sort of way.

"...You think you're wealthy, then?" Kaylee asked softly.

"Not think. Know. It's more than strikingly obvious." River told her, looking up to meet her eyes. "We're in love, Kaylee. Love of the truest kind there is. The kind of love that, if we both want it to, only gets better. The kind of love that would for sure lead us to live in a star one day, if my fanciful theory about stars happens to be true somehow... It's the most valuable thing there is anywhere, don't you think so?" She asked in that same egalitarian way she had a asking things.

Kaylee smiled a just happy sort of smile. "Yeah, I guess I do think that, now you mention it."

"It's not very rational of me, being afraid sometimes like I am. Probably just a classical aversion response. Once stolen into shadows, and I'm twice shy. I'm trying to ignore it in hopes that it will go away." River confessed to her honestly.

Kaylee smiled. "You really think that's going to work, huh?" She asked a little playfully.

"Fear needs attention, like sunlight for plants. If I don't feed it for long enough, it should wilt and perish." River explained logically.

Kaylee looked into her eyes and touched her face in a light caress, blinking her eyes once. "Fears like that, they aren't usually so easy to ignore for most people, yaknow?" She asked.

"...There are other strategies at work." River explained. "Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O'Malley Armstrong sung a song that told people about it once... Some people still have recordings of her music, even though she lived thousands of years ago. My mother had. Probably still does... She said that love can stop my fear, if I let it..."

"I'd believe it." Kaylee smiled and laughed a little. "That's a really long name, you know?" Kaylee told her.

"She hid it. I had She thought her parents were cruel to give it to her. But I always wished I had a long name like that when I was a girl, so I probably have a Billy goat living inside of me somewheres, just like she did, except in reverse. And maybe a troll." She told her with a cute smile.

Kaylee laughed. "A troll, huh?" She asked playfully.

"Scary troll. Her name is Annabelle. She gets cranky sometimes, and likes to eat the goats." River told her seriously, though you could tell by her eyes that she wasn't being at all serious. "It's always a challenge to invent new goats, and to try to keep them safe." She explained.

"I can see how that would be a challenge alright." Kaylee replied with some equanimity of her own.

"Somehow I thought you'd understand, if anyone would." River replied with a bright smile. "Come on though, it's time for us to emulate my goats some more now. That way, we'll be sure not to lose our footing. It's clever." She explained, stepping back and jumping down from the tree with grace that would make a Billy goat blush.

"Cleverness is easy for you." Kaylee replied as she jumped after her, River catching her up in her arms before she stumbled and fell.

"I know. But I think it's easy for you as well, even if you're too modest to admit it sometimes..." River replied. "You understand me... more than anyone does... I'm not easy to understand, even to myself many times. It's good for our relationship that we have things in common, it means we can be lazy and forgetful sometimes, and it won't be as damaging."

"Are you planning to be lazy and forgetful?" Kaylee asked curiously.

"It's not a plan or a plot, it's facts and figures and fault lines. I aspire, but I fear. I try not to expect, because I don't want to send invitations I don't want received and made use of... Once a guest shows up that you decide you don't like, you have to close the door or let them in. So you're either rude or miserable, and everyone's inconvenienced." She explained thoughtfully.

Kaylee just smiled fondly and shook her head a little. "You sure can turn me right round sometimes, things you say..."

River just quirked a smile at her. "Should I try to stop, then, you think?"

Kaylee giggle. "Never, ever." She told her positively, moving closer to kiss her, and loving how it made her head swim so.

_Better and better, huh?_, she thought. _Now ain't that a just pretty thought..._

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	24. Godliness and Deviltry (1)

**Godliness and Deviltry... Part 1: ~ AN IMMUTABLE LAW ~**

* * *

It was five days later now, in the morning, an hour after sunrise.

They'd made camp in a meadow. Kaylee'd guess it at about a quarter hectare, surrounded by flowers and grass and a ring of trees an such. Lola was in rabbit heaven and River weren't far behind. Her girlfriend'd been all humming and happy-go-lucky all morning and Kaylee had to admit she was enjoying basking in that feeling too. River just had that way about her. It was so easy to get caught up in her moods yourself, you didn't watch out... Course, at the moment, Kaylee was far too busy watching River to want to do much else...

They'd just had breakfast: berries an nuts an weeds an things... not that Kaylee exactly knew for a fact they'd been weeds, but they'd looked like um. Tasted good though, what River'd made from um. A magician at that, really she was. Other things too... At making love, best of all she thought all over again... That was the other reason Kaylee was in such a very good mood. She'd never had a sex life near this good... She just felt so _close_ to River. It was hard to even think about sometimes, so mostly she really didn't think about it and let it be what it was between them instead.

River was sitting, holding Lola and feeding her a flower while Kaylee cleaned up things. It was only fair, after all, River having made the food and all. As far as Kaylee was concerned, it was a right perfect arrangement, actually. She'd never really been much use as a cook, though she could make do alright if she needed to. River though, now she was an artist... Fine quality to have in a future wife, she mused to herself a little smugly. Not that she had anyone else to be smug to about it, but it was a nice feeling anyway.

Having finished packing, Kaylee turned to River. "Well, that's that. Think we should get going now?" She asked, soft and thoughtful, considering River and wistfully wishing silently that they could be kissing again instead of going to take a walk through a city of dead people... Dead that had... had the things done to them that Reapers did to people... She'd seen what came of Reavers having their way on people before. It was horror in a way that defied words, that defied even memory... She hadn't even had a bad dream about it since seeing it, not one. It had just... Well, she supposed there were some things that a human mind simply weren't built to have facility to process. She knew... that she _was_ going to walk through all of that, because Inara needed her, needed her and needed River, and that was that, but oh how she wished... just wished that it weren't so.

River perked her head up, looking up from Lola to meet her eyes, a curious and thoughtful look on her face. "We should, but... Lola likes it here. Me also... _You_ also. Maybe we should just stay a while?" She asked, as though she'd plucked the thought right from Kaylee's mind and lain it out for her like a magic trick, knowing full well that it was only just that... Just a trick. Just some well-crafted illusion that couldn't be real but that looked real anyway and that might just help them both a little if they pretended it was really reality, maybe for just a small bit longer.

"Take a break, you mean?" Kaylee asked... Was true, they'd been making good time since crossing that river after the fire. They'd both felt the urgency of it. But Inara wasn't in the kind of trouble that couldn't wait a while longer, not really... and River was right: they were nearly there now, and none of what they'd have to do next would be anything like fun... Making their way through a butchered town and then having to dig out Inara from under that mountain. A little more rest and a few more happy memories might go a long ways towards seeing um through all of that. _It's practical_. Kaylee was sure River would tell her so too if she asked after it.

River nodded. "Is it a bad idea?" She asked, unsure of herself.

Kaylee smiled and shook her head. "It's a great idea." She told her softly... Seeing River's pretty smile in response, she got up and went round to sit behind her fiancé and wrap her arms about her, resting her chin on the other woman's shoulder. "I told you today how much I'm in love with you?" She asked, feeling very content about then, in what she was sure was just plain, outright, stubborn spite of what was going to be next for them.

"Yes, you did... but holding to positive patterns while abandoning negative ones is key to having a happy life. So the wisdom says." River spoke reflectively. "...Have I said today that I love you just the same?" She asked, soft and so heartfelt. Sounding happy in a very leisurely sort of way that made Kaylee want to be leisurely too. "Because I am... very, very much in love with you, that is."

Kaylee giggled just a little and then hummed, snuggling just that much closer to River and closing her eyes contentedly. "Me too." She replied simply. "Me too." And just like that, she was only a woman who was happy and in love and nothing else _but_ happy and in love. Who _wouldn't_ be happy like this, she wondered idly? Who _wouldn't_ want to be in love this way? She _was_ rich, she realized in a way she hadn't completely done before. Truly she was... Warm breezy day, field of flowers, someone to love and hold, and even a cute furry rabbit nibbling on flowers... Really, in the present moment, her life was probably as close to perfect as you could possibly ever get. What kind of a jieliu shgaua idiot would she have to be not to be grateful at that?

"I remember this, from the before..." River spoke. "I was nearly just like this, in a park with her one time. Not accounting for rabbitness, the symmetry is statistically aberrant. I wonder if it's me that causes it somehow? It would be nice to think it was so..."

"...You mean, your first girlfriend? She held you like this too? In a park?" Kaylee asked, feeling a kind of twist inside her at that. Not jealousy really, but more just a bit of possessiveness, along with mostly sadness at all River had lost and been made to go through in her life. "Her name was Ella, right? Ella Dannan?"

"Yes. Ella Dannan... She wasn't my first girlfriend though. She was my second. My first was Alexa Marin. She broke up with me because she thought I was boring. Talking about useless things all the time... She could have been right. I probably was..." River spoke, sounding kind of wistful and self-conscious about it.

Kaylee scoffed a little. "Boring you ain't." She smiled. "She thought that, she was the boring one, you ask me." She told her softly, very much meaning every word.

River giggled. "I like that you defend me." She told her, voice joyful. "It's chivalrous and romantic..."

Kaylee kissed the skin of River's neck softly. "You bring that out in me, I suppose..." She admitted, snuggling in to her girlfriend closer still. Close as she could, really. "...Did you bring that out in her too? Ella, I mean?" She asked. _Were you in love with her the same way you're in love with me?_, was what she thought, but didn't ask aloud.

"...I did, in fact. Her eyes danced with me, even when we were only sitting down sometimes... and she had a beautiful smile that I thought was only for me. And it was,_ she_ was, for a time, anyway..." River spoke. "You were in love with someone other than me once too, I think I can tell that. I don't know who it was, but... I think I can tell at least that there was a was. I think... I think that he died. I think that tragedies happens far too often for my tastes. I think it's so, so foolish, how many people seek them out... As if there's some _value_ to them, like money or food or any such finery... Do they think it teaches them something, I wonder? Makes them better somehow? Or is it simply some sort of mirage that's hard to see through?"

Kaylee closed her eyes and felt her eyes threaten to tears. "...It's longing I think..." Kaylee found herself saying, though she wasn't quite sure where the words had come from. "I think... all of us were born with it, yaknow? Something just... missing... Can't see where, can only guess what, don't know why, or... if we do know, I guess it must be some sort of terrible sort of truth no one really would want to look into the eyes of..." She said softly. "We just... try to find things that fit. Look up to the sky, daydream under the stars, find a job, build a life, or steal one, I guess... or maybe some of us just get to like running... Those ones though, they... ought to be more careful... _Gan feng, ni you keneng shouhuo dao baoyu..._" She spoke to herself, her heart aching at the bittersweet memories. "Some there are, just can't help it I suppose." She finished, barely a whisper.

"...Tell me about him?" River asked soft, the words so simple and unassuming they seemed to travel over River's skin and give her a sort of warmth... A sort of courage.

"...James Talwin was his name. _Jamie_, everyone called him. Shone like the sun to me, he did..." Kaylee used that courage given her to speak aloud what she hadn't ever spoken before. "Moved to town when I was seven, died when I was sixteen. Some people have a joy to them, you know? Can't help but feel it, being in their company. Makes the world seem a better place than it is. You do that... I can't say how and I don't dare ask why, but... you're what's missing in me I think. Because that longing...? Never rightly saw it, but I do now... Was there, always was, and now it's not. Now... all I long for... is to stay with you..." She spoke so softly, like the words came right from her heart, no thoughts between them and her lips. The words scared her, even to speak them, but... didn't make them not true. Didn't make them that at all... "But, well, James... I... Wasn't like with you, but I... I mean, I loved him like... well, like you'd expect a girl that age to love a boy, I suppose. Like... An he loved me too. Did it like he did everything... Put everything he had into it... or tried to, anyway. I... I always got the feeling I wasn't... quite enough for him. An maybe I wanted something from him he couldn't give, so maybe that makes it my fault to... He was a dreamer and risk-taker, through and through. Restless, but so was I... He wanted a job in emergency services when he reached age. Was always training for it, pushing himself. He went out one day, hiking, while I had to stay home an work the farm. He just... didn't come back. They found him a few days later. Fell to his death, they said... I..." She trailed off.

"You don't talk about it." River spoke, sounding bothered and guilty and unsure of herself.

"Never have, no..." Kaylee admitted. And she hadn't. A little with her sister once, but had stopped and walked away before getting very far. She'd always thought... "I suppose I... never saw the point in dwelling on things ah can't change." She told her.

"You... told me though?" River asked.

Kaylee smiled wistfully to herself, never opening her eyes. "You asked... and I'd tell you anything I think. Anything you wanted at all..." She told River, and she knew that was true. She knew she'd give River anything... Anything that was hers to give, and be glad of it besides. She didn't know how it had happened exactly that she'd come to feel that way, but... she guessed it was just another thing she didn't see the point in dwelling on. It was true anyway. She didn't think she could change it by this point, and she was sure she'd swear on any stack of holy books you'd care to name that she never would _want_ to change that, no matter what happened... Even more Reavers...

Kaylee felt a little surprised when River turned in her arms and looked into her eyes, touching her face... Her eyes said so many things. The one thing they said that Kaylee found herself most interested in though was that the time for talking could be over now if she wanted it to be. It was a question, and one that Kaylee found herself answering with a soft kiss as she moved forward with surety, one hand moving up to hold one of River's breasts, the other sliding in under River's shirt at her waist.

"Do you want to lay for me then?" Kaylee asked just softly between kisses.

"The answer to that is an immutable law of the universe, if anything is..." River told her in a soft, impossibly sexy voice as she sighed warmly, making Kaylee shiver with so much desire she could hardly believe it. River's hands searched for the ways to get her out of some of her clothing.

Kaylee smiled just a little shakily and lent her own hands to the effort... She'd always loved sex, and had never been exactly shy about the wanting of it, if and when she found herself lucky enough to find a man she'd wanted to have it with, but with River... it was... She didn't have words for what it was. An immutable law of the universe maybe, she supposed, as she got River out of her shirt and lowered her lover back onto the grass, trailing kisses, starting from her lips and going on downward...

She thought again of how River had told her about lovers making their home in stars. That idea had just seemed to stick in her head... and, the more time she spent with River as lovers? Well... like now... the way she felt, like she was just burning, bright and fierce? She was starting to actually believe that maybe, just maybe, River might somehow know the truth of stars when no one else did.

* * *

Chinese translations:

jieliu shagua = dammed fool

"_Gan feng, ni you keneng shouhuo dao baoyu_..." = "_Dare the winds, you may reap the storm_..."

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	25. Godliness and Deviltry (2)

**Godliness and Deviltry... Part 2: ~ ONSLAUGHT ~**

* * *

Half an hour later found the two of them walking through the woods, hand in hand, the day's sunlight pouring down in streams through the tree cover, the soft sounds of nature all around. That idyllic feeling was still with them, and neither of them was saying much by this point.

Kaylee found herself just enjoying the feel of River's hand in hers and she tried to hold on to the peace she felt, wrap it around her.

"We're both scared of the same thing." River said at one point.

Kaylee stopped and looked to her. "Probably." Kaylee gave her a small smile and River's hand slipped from hers.

River leaned back against a tree, dropped her pack on the ground, and met Kaylee's eyes, nothing in them except just plain what was. No expectations, no fears, no hopes, no future, no past... She was just... here, with her, all the way.

"I need to kiss you..." Kaylee told her, dropping her own pack, her heart beating fast.

River shook her head. "Don't."

"Don't?" Kaylee asked, moving up close to her, putting her hands on River's hips, getting close enough their bodies touched, pressed a bit together, their eyes close, sharing breaths. "Why?" Kaylee asked.

"You'd murder for me, wouldn't you?" River asked softly. "Who... Who wouldn't you murder for me?" She asked.

Kaylee felt her heart beat faster. "I was... thinking about that before, sort of... in the meadow." Kaylee told her honestly. "I thought, maybe that's how a zealot feels? Being in love, the way I love you, I mean..." She offered, unable to lie, but unable to tell the truth, unable to tell just what the truth was even.

"You don't like to think about it, I know. I don't like to think about it either." River confessed.

"Why? Who... would you kill?" Kaylee asked.

"Maybe everyone." River told her simply. "Maybe twice."

Kaylee's hands dropped from River's hips and she backed away a small step, her mind going blank.

"It's selfish, isn't it?" River offered. "Or, maybe it is. Maybe I wouldn't really be able to do things like that anyway... Maybe not you either." Her voice was small, then she met her eyes again. "You never can tell things like that until they happen, and you always pray and hope that they never will, but we think about them and wonder all the same, don't we? Even when it could just be useless." Her voice softened again. "I think we think the same things sometimes, but I'm... We're in love, like you said, I know we are."

"We... We are." Kaylee told her, feeling scared, but... still not scared of the woman in front of her, though a part of her said maybe she'd been right to be all that time ago, and maybe she should be now. She just plain wasn't though. She just plain... still felt the need to kiss this woman, same as she had before. "It... makes no never mind though, does it? You can't..."

"What if I can though?" River asked. "What if... What if I can do anything?"

"Can you?" Kaylee found herself asking, feeling like the moment was... all sort of... not all the way real.

"I don't know. Probably not." River allowed. "How would I know that though? Whether I could?"

"...If... if you could, then you'd know you could, because that would be one of the anythings you could do." Kaylee told her.

River looked relieved. "Now that makes perfect sense, doesn't it...?" She told her, pushing off from the tree a little and moving in slowly. "I wonder why it never occurred to me?" River asked in a soft, seductive whisper as she kissed her.

Kaylee let herself be kissed and lost track of everything. It felt like a closed circuit, her body telling her that everything was right again now. That everything was perfect again. Things felt timeless again, like they were kissing forever, and then like they weren't because they'd stopped and River backed away and their eyes met again.

"Sometimes I think I can't do anything at all." River told her softly, in a very intimate way. "Sometimes I think no one can. Not king nor queen, prince nor pauper, president nor clerk, me nor you... Nothing at all." River smiled in such a beautiful, innocent way. "Wouldn't that be funny if it were true?" She asked. "Wouldn't it be funny if all of this around us was... just a play? The worlds a stage, just like that silly playwright said? What if... What if living and dying, and power and it's lack, I mean... those things could only threaten a person if they could hurt, couldn't they? What if we _can't_ be hurt though? What if... the only place we hurt..." River said softly, placing a hand on Kaylee's heart. "Is here?"

Kaylee found herself covering River's hand with one of hers. "If that's true..." Kaylee found herself saying with a little of a smile. "Then I guess that explains why I stopped being scared of you back at Inara's shuttle... Because I found out you'd never hurt me, because my heart _knows_ that you won't." She told her.

River moved forward then and kissed her again, long and sweet and deep and was in no hurry and all to stop. But, when she did stop, she touched Kaylee's face and met her eyes. "I _am_ your wife, Kaylee, for always... We don't need to _wait_ for anyone's say so... If you say I am, then I _am_." River told her, her emotions all laid bare. "Will you? Will you say?"

Kaylee's eyes widened and her heart beat faster. "My wife?" She asked softly.

River nodded.

She smiled, her body feeling lit up, head to toe. "...Then I better be yours too, yeah?" She asked.

River nodded and smiled tentatively.

"Was this just our wedding?" Kaylee asked softly.

"If we say it is." River told her, devotion clear in her eyes. She smiled more fully. "Am I your wife?"

"You _are_..." Kaylee found herself saying, no hesitation. "_Stars and the heavens between_, are you _ever_." She told her, kissing her because she couldn't not. "...Am I yours?" She asked softly once she found the strength to pull away from the kissing again.

"You are..._ Always..._" River told her, backing her up against a tree and starting to kiss her neck, slide her hands beneath her clothes.

"I... I still want a proper ceremony though... With the dress and... and the cake? I mean... at some point maybe?" Kaylee asked hopefully, her mind fast going to the place where thinking of anything but touching and passion and need... just wasn't done...

River hummed. "That's agreeable..." She agreed softly, still kissing being all about kissing her, which was fine... Kaylee was sure she was _all_ about that right at the moment too.

_Married_... Kaylee thought wonderingly, her trousers being unzipping at the moment. Her heart was beating fast, her skin was hot, and she felt like she could see and hear everything... The sunlight, the soft breeze through the trees, and things were timeless all over again...

It was a familiar feeling to her by now, like coming home... She couldn't explain it and didn't want to try, but she felt like something was definitely changing with her, and between her and River too. And River had changed too, so much. Hadn't she? They'd both been changing, from when they'd first met to when they'd been stranded here on Opal up to now and on towards tomorrows... Was it all just what falling in love was? Or... was there something more to it?

She remembered a line from a song she liked.

_Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and today, dancing and dancing and turning, just to stay..._

* * *

It was three hours later now and they'd both been mostly silent the last hour or so. Before that, they'd talked about all sorts of things. Kaylee's fears about the weather control system, their hopes that Lola would be happy and that they'd see her again, sharing memories they hadn't shared yet, those kinds of things. Now though... On the one hand, Kaylee still very much felt high on life from the wedding and the sex, but, on the other... things had just started to feel... solemn. River'd felt it a ways back. Felt something was going wrong for them.

Kaylee'd asked her what it was, but River hadn't known. They both knew now though, sure as anything...

They'd started to hear it a ways back... like another storm coming. Pounding and metal and fire... Kaylee knew the sound. If she hadn't been sure before, she was now. She'd started to smell it too, the smoke and fire in the air...

And sure enough, they caught sight of the smoke next, when they came through the tree line at last, into the rocks and grass, and saw the colony town beyond off in the far distance.

"Well, there it is..." Kaylee spoke, trying to keep her voice steady.

"...They don't like it here. I think the gravity upsets them, even as it sings to us like sirens... I wonder if that's what went wrong with them? That they can't hear the songs right anymore... Maybe it all just sounds like a frightful noise to their ears? Nails digging at a chalkboard..." River spoke in a soft, pensive, sad voice.

"The Reavers, you mean..." Kaylee said.

River was quiet and Kaylee turned to look to her. River noticed and looked back, offering her a comforting smile. "I'll keep you safe, like I did before if I have to." River told her. "I'll try with everything I have, anyway."

"Yeah well..." She hugged herself some. "Just you keep _you_ safe too, _dong ma_?"

"Shi." River answered, reaching out and offering Kaylee her hand to take.

Kaylee did and was grateful for the comfort of it. They walked on out through the rocks and grass and moss and clover an things, on and through in silence until they came finally up to a ridge and River put a finger to her lips to signal silence. Kaylee nodded and they cautiously looked over the edge.

It was pretty much what Kaylee had thought... Those sounds?

Reavers. Hundreds... and they were repairing one of those toxic monstrosity ships of theirs.

Cobbled together and a hazard to any what lives and they were all crawling about it like ants with a will to them.

All Kaylee could think was that she wanted to turn right the hells around right now and come back for Inara some other time when the... people... down there were done with their workings and all gone off to be someone else's trouble and none of theirs.

...And then a cry sounded out. _A scream... _And then another, and another and another and another and Kaylee's eyes widened and she realized what was going on. She turned to look at River.

"Now's when we start running, I think." River told her, her eyes also gone a little wide.

Kaylee looked back at the valley below and saw a horde of Reavers starting to head right their way.

"Oh hells yeah." Kaylee said under her breath, letting River pull her to her feet.

And they ran.

* * *

Chinese translations:

_"dong ma?"_ = _"understand?"_

"Shi" = "Yes"

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	26. Godliness and Deviltry (3)

**Godliness and Deviltry... Part 3: ~ SURETY ~**

* * *

Down through the woods they ran. "So we'll need to go the far way around, I think." River'd said as they'd reentered the woods. Kaylee'd quickly thought over the logistics of it and agreed. At present, they were scrambling down a steep embankment, circumventing a longer, more circuitous path down the hillside that would take them down by a winding river. Following the river a ways, they'd come to the colony town eventually, never allowing their pursuers to shortcut them.

They were going as fast as they safely could and talking any was a waste of breath they couldn't much afford. Talking would have been a comfort though, Kaylee thought. Besides the sounds of the wind, the river, and their footfalls on the ground, there was no sound _at all_. Aside from that first _roar_, the Reavers were being silent as the grave apparently. It was eerie, and Kaylee was very glad that she had her next footfall (and making very, very sure she did not trip) to focus on, otherwise she'd sure be forever looking behind them out of fear that the great swelling mob of wretched torturous death that was chasing them would be there just behind, about to swarm um. She consoled herself that that many bodies traveling over land couldn't possibly be silent enough for her not to hear them if they'd been close. There'd been miles and a steep cliff between them too, so their head start had been huge. _Of course_ the Reavers wouldn't catch up to them so easily. Maybe they'd even given up? _Yeah._ Because that was entirely likely, now weren't it?

It was a rule for Reavers, so the wisdom said, that if you ran from them, they always, _always_ would chase. So, running as they were, neither she nor likely River had any intentions of stopping just yet.

Along the riverbank they ran on a small dirt path, River in the lead. As fortune had it, they came upon a small homestead along the way. Their footsteps petered out on the front lawn though, as they beheld the sight before them.

"Om padmo ushnisha vimale hum phat..." Kaylee spoke under her breath. She'd been expecting to see things like this again, but, well... a sane person really _can't_ expect a thing like this, not in any way that would help um much with coming to terms with it at any rate.

The house was a smoldering wreak, and... in the ashes, splayed between poles... were bodies... Two adults... two children... and... and a dog...

The state of them...

Kaylee looked away, the smell making itself known on the breeze then. She tried to stop the images from settling in her mind, tried mightily not to throw up whatever undigested bits of her last few meals still remained in her stomach as well. One breath in, one breath out, that was the way.

River put a hand on her shoulder and told her softly: "It isn't the things that are done to us that make us who we are. What we see here... It's not who this family _were_, and it _can't_ take away from them what they were either."

River took her hand a moment, their eyes met, and Kaylee gave her a sad smile, tears falling from her eyes. Kaylee stared blankly into those eyes a moment, seeing tears start to fall from River's eyes too. It helped, those tears. River's sure presence helped too. Kaylee seemed to draw strength from her lover's words and touch. She nodded to River. "Thanks, think I needed that a lot." She admitted softly, wiping her tears away.

"We all do... " River answered solemnly, wiping way her own tears. "But now, we need something else even more. Come?" She asked her, dropping her hand from Kaylee's, turning, and walking off.

Kaylee watched her mutely a moment, stopped herself by force of will from turning her head to see... what she'd seen before again, and resolutely walked off hurriedly to catch up with her wife. _My wife_, she thought, taking comfort from saying it to herself. By now, she found, she had complete trust in River. Had faith that there was a good reason they weren't keeping to running just now. It was an odd realization, just how deep that faith ran in her. But then, she guessed, in the face of such terrors, mightn't it not make a perfect kind of sense to find your faith where you may?

There was a smaller building off to the side that was a shambles, but not burnt, and they were heading towards it. Belatedly, as they got closer, Kaylee realized what the building was and why River was heading for it. She smiled. There was sadness in her smile still, in her heart, but there was hopefulness too. Seeing what she'd just seen would always stay with her, she knew that it would from having seen such things in the past, but she knew too that she could go on... especially if she weren't alone.

They got to the garage and started assessing things. "Here." River observed, moving a slab of fallen roofing aside to reveal a hoverbike. A nice one too. Fancy even.

"Shiny..." Kaylee spoke, helping River pull it out from under the debris. With some effort, they got it out and upright. "A Lightray 672G..." She spoke. "High end. Never seen one like _this_ up close before." Kaylee admitted with some amount of admiration in her voice for the machine before her. She crouched down on her knees and began a cursory inspection. "Fuel main's punched through right here." She observed, her spirits flagging. Seems like this wouldn't be as easy as she might have hoped.

River sat a fuel can down next to her and Kaylee smiled up at her. "Think of everything, don't you?" She said.

"You can fix it?" River asked.

Kaylee shook her head. "Woe that any wife of _mine_ should ever need to ask such a thing." Kaylee answered.

River giggle a little. "A rhetorical question only. I have complete faith."

"Well then, baobei, you are forgiven." Kaylee said, still feeling the presence of what was behind them, both things that were behind them, but she did what she always did and tried to act like everything was its best self, on the idea that acting that way might just make it so every now and again. Besides, River'd said she had faith in her, and, because Kaylee knew her wife believed it, that River truly did believe in her, it made her feel better for real as well.

Kaylee took her pack off and got out her tool wrap. It was a light-weight enough little bundle that she'd decided to take these few essentials with her on the chance that they might well need them once they got to the colony town. She was blessing herself seven ways 'til starrise for that about now. Finding her heat welder/cutter, she rummaged about for a piece of metal that looked likely and set about patching.

River sat on the ground next to her, legs extended out together before her, arms resting lightly on her knees as she gazed out the way they'd come.

"How long you think we have yet?" Kaylee asked softly as she worked.

"We have time enough... if only just." River offered. "Sometimes they travel most swiftly those who know best when to be still."

Kaylee laughed a little. "Another quote?" She asked distractedly.

"...Could be." River answered pensively. "I'm not always sure about these things anymore, unfortunately." She sounded much older saying that than someone who looked as completely youthful and pretty as she did had a right to, in Kaylee's opinion. But, then again... all the things she'd gone through in her life, she had a right to sounding old if anyone did.

"Well, it's a wise thing, whoever did say it first. Here's hoping that wisdom sees fit to give us blessings today." Kaylee muttered as she finished. She got up and opened the engine compartment, looking around a little, then traced over the rest of the machine visually. It looked banged up some, but she couldn't find anything else mechanically wrong with it. River had gotten up and was confidently putting the slightly sour smelling silver liquid fuel into the bike.

"It looks right enough. Wish I had an hour to make sure though." Kaylee remarked, getting to her feet as River set the bike to hovering and turned it towards the road ahead of them.

"I always thought collecting wishes might be a worthwhile hobby." River offered.

"For a suicidal person, maybe." Kaylee half muttered to herself, thinking how very dumb it had been to say what she had about wanting to stay here another hour.

River kissed her cheek. "Stuff and nonsense. I'm a perfectly safe hoverbike driver, I'll have you know."

"Huh?" Kaylee asked as she sat down on the bike and wrapped her arms around River from behind, only to feel the _jerk_ of sudden acceleration the next moment. It was a near thing that she didn't fall off, she considered.

They practically flew down the riverside trail, skimming out onto the water and kicking up a spray at times, Kaylee thought, perhaps as much for River's sake of whimsy and adventure than for any real necessity... Not that she really minded.

_Suicidal. Perfectly safe hoverbike driver._ Kaylee made the obscured connection in what River's said in her head and she closed her eyes and they raced down a rocky hill into the outskirts of the colony town. Because any logical person would say that they both had a death with doing what they were doing right now.

Still, through it all, she had the faith to hold on and not to scream. Not that the not screaming part of that was always so easy, mind.

She blinked her eyes open again when she could manage to, her heart still going _pitter-pat, pitter-pat_ like a drummer on a sugar high. They were cruising more sedately now through the streets of the town, and Kaylee looked around a little before sighing and resting back against her wife, deciding it really was best not to look...

* * *

They pulled up to a building soon and River idled the bike a moment, then turned it off as it settled gently to the ground under them. "You sure know how to make a woman's heart speed up when you want to, I will say that."

River laughed and grinned broadly in joy as she took Kaylee's hand and helped her to her feet. "All delights there are that are mine to give, they are laid bare before you that I might hope to quench your every desire." She spoke in a pretty, warm, lyrical sort of way, coming around behind her and touching her hair, caressing her hip. "Don't you think that's a nice thing to say to someone you're in love with?" She asked in a whisper into her ear as Kaylee involuntarily leaned back into her and let River wrap her arms around her and hold her close.

"Mmm, yeah... A very nice thing." Kaylee agreed, her skin heating in a flush of desire, her heart all the sudden racing for a different, much more enjoyable reason. She could feel River's heat too, feel the beat of her heart against her back. It had them both feeling a little wild, apparently. Not that that was a bad thing at all. Very much it was not.

River kissed her neck and jawline. "Then that works out, because I love you with every breath I take, Kaywinnet Lee... Every one, ever." She declared in a soft, sensual voice, holding her close and leaning her head against hers.

Kaylee took a moment to just enjoy the heat of her, her scent, and the echoes of her voice. Stars above, did she ever love listening to River talk... "Where are we, anyway?" She asked, the very practical question only now having occurred to her, so buzzed on adrenaline, sweet words, and kisses had she been up 'til this point.

"The colony's weather control center." River explained. "It's time you were godlike... I might even start calling you the great and powerful Oz. I could be Dorothy."

Kaylee laughed. That was a story she knew. And it was appropriate enough, wasn't it? Her being a fam girl blown off course so? "A godlike wizard am I now? I take it that means I'm to be about making repairs? Is there another of those storms coming?" She asked worriedly, looking up at the partly cloudy sky. River had a sense for such things, such things and other such things as well, and Kaylee wasn't about to lose her faith now. They'd talked about Kaylee's worries about the climate control system on their walk through the woods before arriving, and River had agreed that it would need looking at soon. They hadn't, however, made plans to check into it before going to Inara's aide. That River had brought them here first now had Kaylee worried.

River smiled though. "I'm very much counting on it."

"...Well, alright then. No percentage in hanging about, then, is there?" Kaylee remarked. River kissed her neck and Kaylee sighed. "That was a very eloquent argument for hanging about, I have to admit." She admitted.

River giggled, letting her go with apparent reluctance and coming around in front of her, holding out her hand in invitation. Kaylee took the offered hand. She'd come to very much like the handholding part of her relationship with River, and she had a feeling River liked it at least as much too. "Tragedies in the darkness. You might not want to see." River spoke a quiet warning.

Kaylee nodded and swallowed, sticking close to River as they went inside the darkened building. Automatic lighting came on around them sporadically. There was a high-pitched electronic buzzing faint in the air, and a now all-to-familiar scent of decay. Kaylee kept close to her wife and didn't take any unnecessary glances about, more than willing to take River's word that it wouldn't be a particularly good idea.

She couldn't help catching a glimpse of a man on the steps as they climbed up to the second story though. He'd... clearly been badly raped and tortured... "_Hei'an de emo he diyu shouhu zhe..."_ She muttered under her breath, only just managing to keep her stomach from rebelling through a stubborn act of will.

The second floor, thankfully, brought relatively fresh air, as there'd been a hole blown in the side of the building, likely a glancing impact from artillery fire from one of the Reavers' ships. The colony town itself had been protected by artillery of its own. It hadn't been enough to save them, obviously. In the end, it had just made more of a mess of the town... as well as killing off some of the Reavers who'd attacked... which weren't a bad thing, come to think.

Kaylee and River looked out over the city through the hole a moment, then, quietly, River lead her away and towards the center of the building. Thankfully, the building's core seemed largely undamaged.

They soon entered the main control hub and Kaylee took a look around. There was a man and a woman here, both dead by their own hand and unmolested by Reavers after their deaths. Kaylee was relieved, though it was a sorrowful relief. Wasn't at all uncommon a thing, for a smart soul to take their own life before a Reaver had the chance to. She might wonder why the Reavers had let their bodies be when that wasn't usually their way, but then no sensible person wondered why Reavers did or didn't do things unless they had to, and, right now? She didn't. Kaylee looked around more. "Well, I'll get to work then, I'd suppose...?" She looked to River.

River nodded. "I will too." She replied.

Kaylee cocked her head to the side in consideration a moment, but then nodded and turned to go inspect things. She wasn't really in the mood for talking or discussing things at the moment. River would speak up if she needed anything from her.

Across the room, she found the monitoring and programming systems intact and set about running diagnostic sequences from the central console. In most cases, she could count on diagnostic sequences like these to give her good feedback to work from. She'd never encountered a weather control system in person like this, but, then, she'd never encountered a lot of things of which she'd been able to figure out the ways of soon enough. She had no reason to think that, with ingenuity and an open heart, _this_ system would be any different.

As the diagnostics ran, Kaylee turned back to the room, leaned against the console, and did an overall assessment. She saw River sitting at one of the secondary control stations. Her clever wife was up to something. She absently wondered what it was as she took a few moments to just let herself enjoy looking at her, at the very endearing way she was so wrapped up in what she was doing... Kaylee licked her lips and wished she had the freedom to just go over to her, climb up on that chair with her, and have her way with her a few times. There were Reavers on the way and dead bodies in the room though, so that wasn't a possibility. Still, she craved it. Craved the way it would take all life's troubles away and give her bliss again... River looked over to her then and smiled, and it was like a sunbreak on a cloudy day...

Kaylee felt her heartbeat pick up again, along with her sex drive, but had to look away after a moment when one of her diagnostics reports chimed to let her know it was done running. Kaylee looked back to River and River smiled a little crookedly. Kaylee actually blushed some as she turned to look at the results she had so far. _Focus, woman. You need to focus_, she told herself, unable to help the little smile from her lips. River was so great... as a friend, as a wife, and as a lover. She fleetingly wished that she'd let herself _see_ that truth past her worries and fears of her when they'd first met. It was just plain tragic how much she'd cheated herself out of that way...

The report she'd got showed her two things, primarily. That the monitoring system was fully functional, and that the automated control systems were... _less_ than fully functional. With a sort of giddy anticipation, Kaylee tapped a control and saw the a giant holographic representation of the planet's surface appear before her. _"Pretty..."_ She spoke in wonder.

She brought her hand to the touch control and rotated the planet, zooming in and out a few times, testing, until she felt she'd gotten a handle on it. Next, she switched to real-time surveillance of the satellites. Each satellite could bring up high-res images of neighboring satellites. Each satellite also had automated maintenance drones that she could set to do more detailed renderings in a full three-hundred sixty degrees, but it would take time to mobilize them and get their transmissions rendered to her. For what she was doing now, the limited angles she had were enough.

She scrolled through the satellites, one after another. The third one in the line showed some superficial damage to its shielding, but it's drones were repairing it and estimated repairs would be completed in two more days' time. In the meanwhile, it was still going about performing it's assigned function without issue. The fifth one in the line was just so much debris, which was a problem. Ideally, the satellite web would either reposition and automatically compensate, giving priority to hotspots and populated areas, or, failing that, they would either focus on mitigating the worst weather systems, or they would discontinue their functions altogether to avoid making matters worse.

The system was doing none of those things, because, while it had registered that there was a problem, the centralized automated control wasn't functional and couldn't coordinate them properly. Hence the no longer dependable weather. "But why aren't you functioning though?" Kaylee muttered softy to herself as she scanned through the diagnostic reports' details. As she read, two more reports came through and she switched to skimming through those.

Piece by piece, the picture was becoming clear and things were clicking into place, her mind forming a wide-ranging view of how the weather control system worked, where it wasn't working, and what she might try doing to remedy things.

* * *

Chinese translations:

"Om padmo ushnisha vimale hum phat..." = (a Buddhist mantra of protection against death, evil spirits, etc...)

"baobei" = "sweetheart"

_"Hei'an de emo he diyu shouhu zhe..."_ = _"Demons of the dark and keepers of hell..."_

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	27. Godliness and Deviltry (4)

**Godliness and Deviltry... Part 4: ~ THE DEVIL'S NAME ~**

* * *

Three hours and some later found Kaylee on a makeshift ladder at one of the three main pillars in the room. She was wired directly into the communication arrays outside (which, thankfully, were all still intact), and she was manually calibrating the newly repaired and retuned automation system as it ran.

Her system was reconfiguring the satellites to assume a new positioning scheme to compensate for one destroyed satellite and one nonresponsive one that she'd already managed to get its maintenance drones to power down and crash into the atmosphere so that there'd be no chance of it suddenly coming online again on day and doing something... unfortunate.

Her last command entered, she carefully got down off her ladder and went back to the central console, bringing up the holographic display again to monitor the results as they occurred. A pleased and glowy sense of accomplishment started to spring up in her chest as she watched the satellites smoothly move into their positions and seamlessly integrate into the new web configuration. It was a model of efficiency in design, if she did say so herself.

The satellites would function at only about one and a half percent reduced capacity. So... a few more cloudy days every year, maybe. If that.

She frowned though as she noticed storm clouds starting to form. Starting to form _fast_. She reached to start furiously checking things over to see where she'd gone wrong (and things had been going so well, too) when River's hand covered hers. She stopped and looked over, meeting her wife's eyes. "River?"

"They're invited." River explained, her voice serene and... kind of a little deathly.

"By... you?" Kaylee asked quietly, her hands coming to a rest as she gazed at the holographic display before her. "Do I... want to know what you've been up to these past hours?" She questioned. She really should have asked, she realized belatedly. If only so she'd have known what to expect. She hadn't though. She'd let herself get caught up in being a mechanic again... It had been comforting and familiar and needed. It had felt _good_ to really be in her element again.

"It's a good thing for us." River offered. "While you were being godlike... I decided to try imitating the devil."

Kaylee looked at her then. She saw a sort of quiet stormy madness in River's eyes, and, though it would have been very sensible to be, she still wasn't afraid. She still had trust.

There was a slowly growing roaring in the air, and Kaylee shivered. It wasn't the storm.

She brought up the nearby exterior surveillance cams and saw Reavers swarming through the streets, converging on them from both directions. They'd run out of time.

She looked up at the holographic display, saw the angry storm, felt the air tremble as thunder crashed above them, matching the roars of the Reavers all around them, almost making them sound small.

"And lo, the devil did work her will amongst the heavens, that all her enemies might be swept from her beloved's sight... She cast them down into the fire, and burned them all in the radiant light." River spoke, turning to meet Kaylee's eyes at last. "Did you know? The devil? The one from the ancient stories...? His very first name? It meant light-bringer." She told her.

And Kaylee jumped as thunder made the room tremble. She looked up at the surveillance feeds then, heard the crash and explosion from outside as the first lightning strike hit. She saw the carnage on the monitors.

One strike was followed by another. She heard wails and screams drift through the now riotous winds to her ears.

She watched on, and soon realized... The lightning strikes were _targeted_. How had River done it? The system wasn't designed to _do_ that. As far as Kaylee had ever heard, _no_ weather control system had ever been designed to do that. Never been successfully weaponized on such a precise scale like this. Oh, they'd been used as weapons of mass destruction a few times throughout history, in the wars most recently... She tried to imagine how to possibly invent a way to do it, but she couldn't even arrive at an educated guess. Not right now at any rate. But River must have just... sat herself down and programed the system to do this all on her own. Had it set up to start as soon as Kaylee got everything online and working again... Kaylee practically itched to look over River's programming code to see how she did it...

After all she'd seen River do, she'd got to thinking nothing her wife did would surprise her anymore. Apparently not so, that. Because this was just... godlike... or devilish, she supposed, if she were going with the analogy. River wasn't either of those things though, Kaylee knew. She was just River. And that, apparently, was _more_ than enough. Even against an army...

Kaylee and River both watched on in silence though the vid feeds as the storm raged and killed. It seemed to Kaylee too solemn a thing to talk over anymore. River took her hand though, and Kaylee squeezed it back in reassurance as they watched.

Those people out there... Those things that had once been people... It was a mercy, it really was, if you thought on it at all. Anyone... Anyone at all, even the worst, most disturbed people ever born, Kaylee doubted that even one of _them_ would willfully wish to become what those people out there had somehow become. If it were her out there, she'd want lightning form the sky to strike her down, sure as anything she would. Still and all, it... was a massacre. You couldn't see it and not wish it wasn't. Wish, at least, that it didn't need to be the way it was...

Long minutes later, the storm died down, apparently having run out of targets, and, slowly, Kaylee watched as the holographic display showed the weather turning back to idyllic. The vid feed showed no motion besides the wind. Charred, dead bodies and smoking ruination around them were what was left.

Kaylee stepped forward, letting her hand fall from her wife's, and zoomed in the holographic display on the site of the Reavers' shipyard they'd seen. It was annihilated. The ships all burned to useless slag, not a bit of salvage left that Kaylee could see.

How many lightning strikes would it have taken to do that?

She panned out over the surrounding woods, over the colony town. No forest fires, no buildings aflame, hardly any collateral damage in the city at all. The lightning had only struck the Reavers, nothing else. "Wow..." Kaylee praised, looking over at River who seemed trance-like. "When you want a body dead, you don't mess around, do you?" She asked.

River sighed. "They call it a warrior's passing sometimes, when the bodies are burned. Do you think they would have liked that?" She asked. "Do you think it might have helped their souls to move on, or find some kind of peace?"

Kaylee thought about it a moment. "Maybe?" She offered.

River looked to her. Sad eyes.

Kaylee moved in and kissed her, closing her own eyes as she did.

The kiss wasn't romance. It was solace and comfort and River held her in her arms, and Kaylee held her right back, and Kaylee felt River start to relax some against her, to give in to what she offered.

Kaylee ended the kiss in stages, giving River a choice at each one. When they parted, River's shy, hopeful smile made Kaylee feel like all could be right in the universe again one day. If only there were more honest kissing going on out there, and less of the dishonest kind...

"Let's go dig Inara out of that mountain, alright?" Kaylee asked.

"...Can we eat first?" River asked hopefully, if also a little wistfully.

Kaylee considered that a moment. "Probably a good idea, yeah." She admitted, though she truthfully didn't feel all that hungry at the moment.

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	28. Dig A Hole And Climb (1)

**Please Note:** (Aug 8th, 2016) I just went back through this whole story and re-edited everything, also adding chapter titles. I didn't change anything very big, just a lot of small things, and a few medium-sized ones. If you've already read everything so far, there's no reason you'd have to go back and read everything again if you don't want to. There's no changes in the actual past events that happened, so you wouldn't need to do that to understand future chapters at all. If you're interested though, I do think the story's a lot more polished now. (I did first start writing this story, like, maybe three years ago or something, so it really did need the attention).

* * *

**Dig A Hole And Climb... Part 1: ~ INSPIRATION ~**

* * *

They'd managed to find food stores in a nearby staff lounge. Opportunely, the room and the food stores within had been left entirely untouched by everything. Kaylee'd made hot coffee while River'd gotten together a bunch of the foodstuffs and basically piled it in the center of the table as a feast forum. Kaylee was looking at the food as she carried the coffee back over to the table. She felt her appetite start to recover, for which she was grateful.

Maybe it was the happy memory of the one and only other feast they'd had together, the one right before they'd left Inara's shuttle... She sat down and closed her eyes, scenting the coffee before taking a sip. It felt so warm an relaxing going down. She took another sip and opened her eyes as River brought a box of cookies she'd just gotten from a higher shelf over and sat down next to her, offering her a hopeful, optimistic smile, and a cookie.

"Hey, you." Kaylee greeted, taking the cookie gratefully and returning a tired if also optimistic smile. "Thanks." She thanked.

"Hi." River answered. "You're welcome... Is it too much, do you think?" She asked, sounding a little confused like she got sometimes.

"The food?" Kaylee asked gently.

River nodded.

Kaylee shook her head. "No. My apatite's coming back, believe it or not. The coffee's helping... Besides, I think it's probably about time we treated ourselves to another feast, don't you?"

River sighed. "A happy agreement then." She sounded very relieved as she took up her cup and drank her coffee, clearly enjoying it too... Kaylee had figured that out about River long before now: that what mood she was in, what she felt in any given moment, could often times be strongly dependent on what those around um's mood and feelings were. And it made all kinds of sense, because River was just so... open with herself allot of the time, to everyone around her, and maybe even those that were far away. And, to Kaylee herself now, much more so... because they were in love. It was a heavy thing to know, in a way... But Kaylee knew it wasn't a one-way street in the least either. She might not feel things in the same ways River did, but how River felt? What her mood was? Those things affected her very strongly too. It was that way for everyone, really, to one extent or another, she supposed. No one lived their lives by themselves. No one could be unaffected by the people around them. It could just hit River harder than it would most people sometimes...

They just sort of spent a while drinking coffee and gazing into each other's eyes then. It was very enjoyable, and comforting for both of them, Kaylee was finding. She liked gazing into River's eyes. It had quickly become a favorite pastime of hers, in fact.

"So, um, think we can find a working bathtub around here somewhere too?" Kaylee finally asked, a small smile coming to her lips as she snaked on some trail mix with dried fruit in it. She had a weakness for fruit, of any kind, very much she did.

River looked pensive. "Like a treasure hunt, you mean?" She asked, meeting Kaylee's eyes again and smiling at the thought.

Kaylee giggled. "Would be like that, wouldn't it?" She smiled.

"Material wealth can be a weighty thing, but, if you know how, and the tub is big enough... You can_ float_ in a bath." River told her, sounding nothing like a sage at all. She sounded more like the dreamy girl Kaylee remembered herself as being sometimes back home on Isis, and it warmed her heart.

She chuckled a little. "I think you might have let me in on one of the secrets of life, you know?"

River giggled. "It's only a secret if you're thick in the head." She tapped her own head above her ear.

Kaylee laughed. "I'm glad we aren't that then."

* * *

An hour later, River was sitting cross-legged on the floor next to her while Kaylee fiddled with the weather control station's comm system, trying to get it to pick up Inara's signal so they could check on her before they headed out. The system wasn't being cooperative, so she'd started a diagnostic and was chatting with River while she watched its progress.

"One of the homesteads around here would probably be the best bet, I think." Kaylee ventured. They'd been discussing what their plans could be once Inara was safely under the open sky again. Neither of them mentioning the possibility of rescue, or their shipmates' fates, because it still wasn't anything either of them could do anything about. "Do you think it'll be worth it though for us to set Inara and company up there, then go back for the shuttle? Bet I can scrounge up enough spare parts in the market stores I can fix it up, then we could just fly back here?" She offered, as she read a line of the slowly scrolling text before her.

River hummed, her head tilted back resting on the wall she was sitting against. Kaylee could see her out of the corner of her eye and it made her smile. "We could visit Lola on the way back, and see how she's doing?" She offered. "Do you think she might try to build a family?"

"It is what rabbits are known for." Kaylee reasoned.

"But Lola could be a rabbit rebel. We could have been a good influence on her." River countered, laughing. "That's funny to think about, isn't it?"

Kaylee giggled. "Surely is."

"I think it's a good plan though." River complemented. "I think I'd like life on a farm, now that I'm no longer considered sisterly and have a pretty wife to take baths and go dancing with, I mean..." She mused playfully, but in a very heartfelt sorta way.

Kaylee giggled again. "You know? Strangely enough? I think I'd like it too." Kaylee had to admit. "Much as my younger self would be outright horrified to hear me say those words."

"Have you been talking with her about it then?" River asked, yawning adorably. She was clearly getting tired. They both were, if Kaylee were being honest with herself. Saying it had been a long day thus far? Well, that just didn't do justice to it, now did it?

"Who? Younger me?" Kaylee asked as the screen showed her what she'd wanted to see. The diagnostic was done, and the troubleshooting program, which she'd had to reinitialize and tweak a few times, had found and corrected the problem. The comm line to the antenna it had been trying to source for the transmission wasn't connected anymore, so the troubleshooting program had rerouted the signal to another antenna and was now sending a hail.

"I think our younger selves have houses in our heads. I don't always understand the things mine tell me though..." River admitted, sounding a little lost in contemplation. "It used to make me sad sometimes, but I think I understand them more now, because of you..." She trailed off. "I can talk to the me I was when we first met just fine though, I'll have you know, and she's happier now also..."

Kaylee had canceled the hail and crouched down on the floor with her wife. She saw tears running down River's cheeks and she moved in to gently wipe them away.

River turned to her and smiled. "You're magic, you know? You really... You really are." River told her.

Kaylee felt tears of her own threaten and she chased them away, smiling too as she cupped River's chin and stroked her hair, gazing into her eyes. Eyes that told her such impossible, wondrous things sometimes. Kaylee swallowed on the strong emotions she felt. She felt pulled at, like gravity, _towards_ this woman. Like more than gravity. She moved in and kissed her, and River kissed her back, and the comm system chimed and they parted, blinking back to their senses.

"Hello? Is someone there? _Kaylee? River? _Is that... Was that you?" They heard Inara's familiar, halfway desperate sounding voice fill the room.

Kaylee stood and pressed the key to open two-way contact. Inara's face came on the screen as River stood with her and wiped her face of residual tears. "It's us. We're here, Inara." Kaylee told her.

The relief on Inara's face was a profound thing. She cursed in Chinese and sighed. "Am I ever glad to see you. Please... Please tell me you're close by?" She pleased.

"We are." River confirmed, apparently brought back to a state of purposeful clarity again by Inara's distress. Kaylee could relate. She was feeling that purposeful clarity too... along with maybe a little guilt for her having wanted that bath so much when they'd needed to be hurrying more. "We're in the city, at the weather control station... We're here for you, don't be scared?" Her words were soft and sure and comforting and Kaylee could see on Inara's that they helped matters.

"We're going to head right over to you." Kaylee added, promising to herself that she'd make this right, whatever was wrong. "Is... is anything the matter?" She asked, already knowing that the answer would be _yes_.

Inara didn't speak a moment. "...Things are bad, Kaylee. Very bad..." She admitted. "Wo de linghun cong ta de beishang xintong..." She lamented softly.

"Daniel Paxton?" River prompted gently, her voice full of compassion. "...He won't come back to you... will he?"

Inara looked to River and nodded. Daniel Paxton was one of Mayor James Paxton's two young children. "He's... He's in a bad way. He fell ill with something two nights ago. His father's death struck both of the children hard, but Daniel most of all. James died... not but a couple hours after we'd last talked." She informed them gravely. "We... had to cut his body into pieces to fit into the... trash chute. It was the only way. We couldn't leave the body to rot. Frita hid the children away from the doing of it as best she could, but Daniel escaped her and saw what Stephen and I were doing. He... didn't take it well. He's barely been talking to any of us since then. And Frita isn't coping well either. She's... Having trouble keeping her spirits up. She gets tired, goes non-responsive at times... I think it's her mind disassociating itself from her circumstances, so she can cope..."

"That's terrible..." Kaylee spoke, thinking what Inara must have been going through all this time and feeling guilty again about the bath, for having taken that break in the meadow, and for generally not _pushing_ herself more. What had she been _thinking_? River took her hand in hers though and Kaylee instantly felt stronger and reassured. _What's past is past_, she told herself. _Stay in the now and be useful_. "And the others? May and Stephen? And you? ...How are _you_ holding up, Inara?"

Inara sighed. "I'm managing, you don't have to worry about me." She gave them a brave, if tired smile. "And Stephen has been a rock though all of this, truly. May... She's worried for her brother, won't leave his side, but... She's got a strong spirit I think. She never seems to lose hope... She inspires me, really she does." Inara admitted softly. She laughed a little. "I told her once, that I want to be like her when I grow up."

"...We'll be there soon, Inara." Kaylee told her softly. "I promise we will."

* * *

They'd talked with Inara a while more, but the sun was going down in a couple hours. By the end of it, Kaylee had been heartened to see Inara's spirits much raised. Just knowing that she and River were here, just a little ways away, and even more that the Reavers _weren't_ here anymore, it had to be such... a huge _relief_ for her. Kaylee tried to imagine what it must've been like, waiting all this time. Anything at all could have happened to her and River on their way here, and Inara never would have known if it had. Especially with Reavers about... That kind of worry had to've been a horror...

As things were now, she and River were picking through a warehouse for tools and digging equipment. They'd talked a plan out with Inara, and with Stephen, who'd come over to the screen at one point. She and River were to find equipment and such tonight, get some sleep, get a bath, and then they'd go up to the mayor's mansion on the mountainside and see what they could do. Kaylee had tried insisting that they could start out tonight, but Inara had told her no, and River had told her no too... and it made since, especially as she could tell she'd have trouble staying awake if she kept going like she was much longer. There was no way she woulda lasted going up that mountain. And, really, there was no reason she couldn't have a bath... Thinking about that boy who was sick though, she couldn't shake the crushing weight of it from her, not at all.

...River seemed more confident, if caught up in what she was doing too much, as she rummaged through the supplies next to her: looking at one thing, tossing it aside, choosing another and nodding in satisfaction. It was just her own way of coping, Kaylee knew that, could see it in her, and she didn't try to take that away from her either.

Kaylee'd found a wagon to hook to their hoverbike. They'd use it to transport everything.

On their way here, they'd passed a nice house. River had stopped, having a feeling about it. There's been no dead bodies or fire damage, just a home with family photos. Was a sad sight, those photos, but then... the whole town was that, and they did need a place to sleep tonight. She figured maybe they'd earned it a little too, having given the people of Opal some amount avenging for their deaths. None of it was enough, but it could never be for all the sorrows Opal had seen, so it just was.

Kaylee was mostly just trying to focus on how good it would feel to sleep in a real bed, curled up safe with her wife tonight. It was a simple thing, but it was something she needed a lot, she was able to admit to herself.

In the morning, they'd climb the mountain and dig Inara and her charges free, and hopefully the boy would be alright. Hopefully they all would.

* * *

Chinese translations:

"Wo de linghun cong ta de beishang xintong" = "My soul aches from the sorrows of it"

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


	29. Dig A Hole And Climb (2)

**Dig A Hole And Climb... Part 2: ~ SNEAKY SCOUNDRELING ~**

* * *

Back at the house River'd found earlier, Kaylee climbed the stairs up to the second floor where the bed was, River right behind her. Their hoverbike was parked out front with all the digging tools and equipment they'd scrounged in the trailer attached to it.

Kaylee was signing a Kelly Lee Fong song as best she could. One called _Wo Toutoumomo De Wulai_, River humming along absently in her wake. They'd made a game of it while hunting out tools and getting them stowed away, taking turns singing songs they knew to pass the time and stay awake. The title of this song pretty much meant _I'm A Sneaky Scoundrel_ in English. Was about a woman who tricked a beautiful man into falling in love with her, because the man was just too dense to come to the conclusion himself. Growing up, the song had always made Kaylee laugh... well, that and swear she'd never catch herself being that hard up to find a date. Course, sometime thereafter, when she'd found herself with only the Captain, Jane, and a married man for steady male company, she'd been able to relate more to it some... She'd actually felt tempted to do some sneaky scoundreling on Simon once or twice, because he certainly had been dense enough that way to need it. Not that she was going to admit that to River. Not until they'd been married at least a few more months.

Despite herself and their troubles, Kaylee was laughing by the time they got to the bedroom. River was giggling too and Kaylee turned to her, walking backward a few steps as she did. Their eyes met, and River smiled a tired but relieved sort of smile. "It always makes me so happy when you laugh like that." River confessed to her.

Kaylee walked to her then and took her hands in hers. "I'm sorry." She told her.

"But, what for?" River asked, her voice light but thoughtful. She sounded like she was perplexed, but also like she didn't really mind being perplexed because other things mattered more to her now than being perplexed... like moving in closer and breathing in their closeness.

Kaylee's heart fluttered in her chest a little as she did the same. Being this close to her wife, it always made her come alive more, no matter what. "I don't know. For being stupid maybe?" Kaylee asked softly.

"You aren't though." River told her in a gentle, genuine voice.

Kaylee smiled. "What am I then?" She asked back.

"Thoroughly beautiful...?" River asked in a sexy, if also slightly timid voice. "In every way?" The last said in almost a whisper.

Kaylee felt herself shiver a little at that. "I am, huh?" She asked.

"You are." River promised her earnestly. She sighed. "You're also scared for them. For the little boy, most of all. But you're facing that fear, you're acting to save them, and you're here with me... and you still sing songs and laugh... and you still stay with me, still love..." She told her, bringing a hand up to place over Kaylee's heart. "That's not being stupid. That's, in truth, the very opposite of being stupid. That's what being _brave_ is..."

River moved forwards and kissed her, soft and sweet and Kaylee felt her eyes flutter closed as she melted into it, her mind going just plain blank for a long, drawn out moment.

At length though, River stopped the kissing in stages, stared into her eyes in a very peaceful way, and spoke. "Follow me?" She asked, then walked off passed her, leaving Kaylee just standing there dumbstruck a moment.

The moment passed quickly though and she turned around to see River taking off her clothes as she walked towards the bathroom. Kaylee watched after her, enthralled, until her wife disappeared from view within the bathroom. She looked down at herself, at her shirt, and started to unbutton buttons.

When her shirt was undone, she realized she should start walking, so she did, hurriedly getting out of her clothes as she went.

Inside the bathroom, River was running hot water into a very spacious and heavenly looking tub, no clothes on her. Kaylee smiled and just enjoyed the view, her lips quirking into a somehow amused, if also very appreciative, smile. Taking off her socks, which were the last of her clothing, she went over and sat on the edge of the tub. When River looked up from what she'd been doing, their eyes met and River smiled in contentment. "Hi, you." River greeted her.

"Hi, to you too, jiaren." Kaylee spoke playfully. "Nimen shi bushi yao chengwei yige egun toutoumomo gen wo, wo de qizi de?" She asked, moving in close as River sat down next to her.

River smiled. "Maybe just a little bit..." She admitted simply as she moved in to kiss her again.

Kaylee swallowed as their lips met. They shared kisses as they made their way into the tub and started washing each other.

It all felt so good, so just... healing.

At one point, they did trade orgasms, but... it had been as much about a release of tension and stress as it had been about pleasure, though, of course, there'd been pleasure too.

At length, clean, dead tired, and in better spirits, the two sunk into bed together and fell off to sleep in each other's arms as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

* * *

Chinese translations:

_Wo Toutoumomo De Wulai_ = _I'm A sneaky Scoundrel_

"jiaren" = "beautiful woman"

"Nimen shi bushi yao chengwei yige egun toutoumomo gen wo, wo de qizi de?" = "Are you trying to be a sneaky scoundrel with me, wife of mine?"

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

* * *

to be continued

and leave a comment for me if you want, I'd love to hear from you


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